On Tuesday, I got up at 6 am, yes indeedy, so I could get to the Hospital Out In The Country by 7:30, as Nice Lady Wand-Monkey starts work at 7:30 am, presumably prepping IVF ladies for the Giant Stabby Day, and she decided she could squeeze in a quick look at Satsuma and her little side-kick Kumquat. It was day 12 of my cycle.
Well, she said, having poked about in my innards for some minutes, there’s an 11 mm follicle on Satsuma (she calls her ‘Your Right Ovary’ really, which is so very formal, perhaps I should introduce them properly?). Not much of a lining yet, though. Last cycle, I had a 12mm follicle on day 9, which then proceeded to do absolutely nada, so she thought it best if I go back on Friday (day 15) for another ride on the dildo-cam.
I went about my business for the rest of the week.
But I did notice a distinct lack of EWCM. And, my dear internetty intimates, I normally produce that by the gallon – the gallon, I tell you! – so I thought, wow, this Clomid stuff, at higher doses, somewhat freaky, huh?
Friday morning I got Nurse Capable, instead of Nice Lady Wand-Monkey. Nurse Capable is nearly as lovely, but did have to be warned that Kumquat is only a Kumquat and the more you look for her, the more she isn’t there. We then looked at Satsuma. 11 mm follicle. What? Why yes, 11 mm. The sodding thing hadn’t grown AT ALL. And neither had my lining, which was still very very thin indeed. It would seem that whereas my body flips 50 mg of Clomid the bird, it is absolutely steam-rollered by 100 mg and is now in a massive sulk, refusing to produce any estrogen at all. Silly bitch.
I go back for another scan on Wednesday (day 20, FFS), unfortunately not at arse-crack of dawn but, infuriatingly, mid-morning, so I have to take time off work, which will no doubt be fine with Alpha Boss, but pisses me off. And if nothing is happening on Wednesday (which, did I mention, will be day 20, FFS), well, a consultant will have to be called in.
Argh. Argh argh argh argh.
Just as I was leaving, Nurse Capable said, cheerfully, ‘Have you lost weight? You have? You’re looking good! Well done!’
Being May, I went away thinking, so, they tell you to lose weight because, on top of everything else, it’ll help you respond better to medication and regulate your cycle. So, you lose some sodding weight. Do you respond better? Are your cycles regulated? Ah hah hah fucking hah.
But I was a teeny weeny bit pleased.
Nuts in May 