I shall sing loudly until it all goes away

On Tuesday, I got up at 6 am, yes indeedy, so I could get to the Hospital Out In The Country by 7:30, as Nice Lady Wand-Monkey starts work at 7:30 am, presumably prepping IVF ladies for the Giant Stabby Day, and she decided she could squeeze in a quick look at Satsuma and her little side-kick Kumquat. It was day 12 of my cycle.

Well, she said, having poked about in my innards for some minutes, there’s an 11 mm follicle on Satsuma (she calls her ‘Your Right Ovary’ really, which is so very formal, perhaps I should introduce them properly?). Not much of a lining yet, though. Last cycle, I had a 12mm follicle on day 9, which then proceeded to do absolutely nada, so she thought it best if I go back on Friday (day 15) for another ride on the dildo-cam.

I went about my business for the rest of the week.

But I did notice a distinct lack of EWCM. And, my dear internetty intimates, I normally produce that by the gallon – the gallon, I tell you! – so I thought, wow, this Clomid stuff, at higher doses, somewhat freaky, huh?

Friday morning I got Nurse Capable, instead of Nice Lady Wand-Monkey. Nurse Capable is nearly as lovely, but did have to be warned that Kumquat is only a Kumquat and the more you look for her, the more she isn’t there. We then looked at Satsuma. 11 mm follicle. What? Why yes, 11 mm. The sodding thing hadn’t grown AT ALL. And neither had my lining, which was still very very thin indeed. It would seem that whereas my body flips 50 mg of Clomid the bird, it is absolutely steam-rollered by 100 mg and is now in a massive sulk, refusing to produce any estrogen at all. Silly bitch.

I go back for another scan on Wednesday (day 20, FFS), unfortunately not at arse-crack of dawn but, infuriatingly, mid-morning, so I have to take time off work, which will no doubt be fine with Alpha Boss, but pisses me off. And if nothing is happening on Wednesday (which, did I mention, will be day 20, FFS), well, a consultant will have to be called in.

Argh. Argh argh argh argh.

Just as I was leaving, Nurse Capable said, cheerfully, ‘Have you lost weight? You have? You’re looking good! Well done!’

Being May, I went away thinking, so, they tell you to lose weight because, on top of everything else, it’ll help you respond better to medication and regulate your cycle. So, you lose some sodding weight. Do you respond better? Are your cycles regulated? Ah hah hah fucking hah.

But I was a teeny weeny bit pleased.


7 responses to “I shall sing loudly until it all goes away

  • Hairy Farmer Family

    I’d TOTALLY noticed your weight loss. But couldn’t for the life of me think of how to put it without sounding trite – I have stacks of friends who coo ‘oooh! you’ve lost weight!’ when I’ve actually put on a stone, so it’s made me chary of commenting too much on people’s physiques. But you absolutely have, and Well Done Nurse Capable for saying so nicely!

    Satsuma, on the other hand… see, I call Satsuma a LOT of names, and I was really hoping that I could give her some long-awaited praise at this point. But… she is obviously… confused. Or… something. Yes. Confused.

    I had an IUI that culminated in an insemination on about day 40-something-fucking-ridiculous, and the wait was just bloody interminable. I would drive 31 miles for a wanding, hoping for Growth! Growth! and trudge away across the 10-mile-wide car park to the pharmacy for More! Drugs! Please! utterly dejected and cursing my innards, ready for another 31 mile drive home and another marathon round of self-jabbing. I remember the frustration.

    Hugs. Hoards of ’em!

  • Xbox4NappyRash

    Heh, the CM totally goes for a Barney on Clomid we’ve noticed.

  • thalia

    The thing about clomid is that it’s an estrogen inhibitor. So the dosage thing is really very delicate. In many women it doesn’t help get you pregnant because even if you ovulate, you don’t have enough EWCM for the sperm to do something with the egg. Or the lining sucks (both directly affected by estrogen rather than the other reproductive hormones) I know your body is often confused as it is, feels like this particular dosage isn’t helping.

    I know this is probably unhelpful, but the whole clomid thing I find rather unconvincing for you.

  • Nina

    Congrats on the weight loss!! I wish Satsuma would get her head out of you know where, but I’m not terribly hopeful. No praise from me either.

  • Korechronicles

    That Satsuma is causing me to lose sleep. I could think of plenty of names to call her but has not been an effective strategy as yet so will try new one and totally ignore her until she gives in and gives up.

    Right, weight loss…good for you. Not easy I know from bitter, bitter experience.

  • Jane G

    I concur with the clomid/ewcm thing. I’m producing feck all of it these days. The clinic have put me on a supplement called fertilecm to see if that will up it a bit. So far no, but I will report back this month if there is any improvement.


  • Betty M

    Coming late to wish you good things for the appt earlier today.

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