Reassure me, damn it

A few days ago, I started spotting, and I thought absolutely nothing of it, as since I’ve been on Cerazette, every month I spot for a week or so, and it had been a month, more or less, since the last bout of spotting. Since when it escalated, to cramps and red blood on Sunday, the Dire Rear, cramps and a lot more blood on Monday, and today, more Dire Rear, cramps, vicious backache, nausea, dizziness and headaches. Hurrah! I stayed at home, hell, I stayed in bed, and let Bitter McTwisted point out all the ways this wasn’t nearly as bad as my ‘real’ periods and therefore I didn’t deserve a day in bed, while The Positive Thinking Fairy went ‘wheeee! This isn’t as bad as a ‘real’ period! Why are you still in bed?’

So there’s that.

(I had an inkling things were in an ongoing direction of increasing unpleasantness on Tuesday, and made sure I’d got to the end of every single pile in my in-tray. I am such a responsible adult. Which is why all my houseplants are dead).

I was getting used to my schedule of regular spotting. And in fact am now relying on it, because FET, The Maddening, is supposed to kick off when I next start spotting. The regular nature of the spottingness being some kind of indication that my hormone levels are rising and falling in a way that will be appropriate for beginning Extra! Added! Hormones! when I next start spotting. So, naturally, I am convinced this heavier bleeding will mean shenanigans, and ye gods and little fishes only will know when FET, The Maddening, will be commencing to start. Oy vey. Is this a thing? Am I fussbiscuiting?

12 responses to “Reassure me, damn it

  • Hairy Farmer Family (@Hairyfarmer)

    Absurd question, I’m sure, and the opposite of reassurance (I’m sorry!) but as a veteran of The Period That Didn’t Stop and The Tube That Suffered – is Cerazette your only current method of contraception? Have you, in short, peed on something? YOU KNOW OUR SHARED LUCK IS UNCANNY.

    • May

      Oh. Ah. Huh. You know, H has now confessed he was quietly freaking out all week about this. So I am going to the chemist at dawn now. OK? OK.

      Because, there was that night I had a row with my Dad and therefore forgot the stupid pill and took it the next morning instead and OHHHHH FUCK.

      • Amy P

        You’ve been taking it for how many months now? Is it *that* timing-sensitive? :-S


      • Hairy Farmer Family (@Hairyfarmer)

        *muses* I have concluded there is much to be said for keeping a (large) bundle of innernet cheapie peesticks in one’s bathroom cupboard. None of us know the hour, etc. I have occasionally wished A Lot that I had one immediately to hand during a peestick-Mother-Hubbard situation, and seldom been embarrassed by an Overstocking situation…

      • Persnickety

        Mother nature does enjoy this kind of prank. Best wishes for a result that makes you happy.
        Ad, on a side note, why I always have a spare pee stick or two in the desk drawers at work, because 11 am seems to be when the brain freaks out and must test now.

  • starrhillgirl

    I have no idea what the answer is to any of those questions, but I am right here, awaiting tomorrow’s report.

  • waterbelle44

    No answers, but thinking of you and hoping you can move ahead with your plan. Hugs.

  • Mina

    I refuse to think that Luck the Shittyhand Lady dealt you THIS card. Of course, my refusing means nothing in the grand scheme of things, or even in the lesser one, as is even less effective than a hissy fit with added foot stomping in public. I do hope this is is just Cute Ute getting all of its drama antics before fucking getting it right into its head that such pranks are OVER and it has to bake a baby soon, until safe delivery. I do believe, on the other hand, that you will have a medical category named after you in the text books, May Crapolasis Giddamnittus.

  • Dr Spouse

    I don’t think it’s that sensitive to timing re. not taking it but of course is never perfect – BUT I had very variable spotting/”periods” on Cerazette, which ranged from “blink and you miss it” to my normal (not as horrible as yours but still) cramps and flow for my normal number of days. I’m currently on an implant on which I vary between “months without a trace” to “erm, where did I put those tampons?”. I had hoped I was going to go for “years without a trace” but it seems not.

  • Melissa

    I have no insight here but I am hoping that it is neither a sign of a return of such issues nor a cruel trick!

  • Fussbiscuiting | Nuts in May

    […] mild panic, as Cute Ute decided Cerazette be damned, she was Cute Ute The Despoiler, Hear Her Roar. HFF commented on our uncanny bad luck in matters reproductive, and there were reasons… whereapon H confessed that he was a bit […]

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