Item – So, we are sitting about waiting for the scan on Wednesday and/or Something Dreadful To Commence. It is simultaneously very dull and mildly traumatic. I do see why some people go back to work while waiting for a miscarriage to get the hell on with itself, but I grieve hugely for people who don’t feel they can take the time, even if, really, they very much need to, and wear themselves to a fine crazed veneer holding everything together by sheer force of will. This society is not vey kind to sufferers. And not very patient either. I am taking full and absolute advantage of the kindness of my own place of work by staying the hell away. Apart from my poor control of both my tears and my temper, do you think if I started bleeding heavily in the middle of the office and fell over with a burning cramp in my lady parts, this would be edifying or beneficial to anyone?
Item – H worked from home today, having told the office his wife was very unwell. Details, schmetails. He was answering his email, wasn’t he?
Item – My ‘pregnancy symptoms’ have rather abated. I have raging acne, and am extremely tired (but then, I’m not sleeping), but the nausea, such as it was, is mostly gone. And my breasts have got bored of the progesterone and are no longer acting all sensitive and uppity. It makes me sad, but it’s easier, I suppose, than feeling pregnant to no purpose.
Item – I am still taking all the stupid pregnancy-sustaining medications, because. Well, because. This probably explains why I am not bleeding or cramping or anything. And I am still avoiding coffee and booze. My only gestures to hope. I don’t think hopeful thoughts at all.
Item – I spent today in bed, as if I were a Victorian invalid, for no reason other than because I could.