Parnassus (temporarily)

Item – Hi, H! Thank you for posting yesterday. Hi, Gentle Readers! It’s May, but a rather frazzled May who is so not up to narrative arc. So! Items!

Item – H mentioned the ‘tricky’ egg retrieval yesterday. By ‘tricky’, Dr George assured me, he meant they had to tilt the table with me on it at 45 degrees, and the one of the nurses pushed down hard on my belly with both fists, in an attempt to shove Satsuma just that little bit closer to the ‘probe’ (I think he meant ‘needle’). ‘And we used the extra-long probe, of course,’ he added breezily, ‘You’ll feel a bit bruised tomorrow.’

Item – He’s right, you know. I do.

Item – Itemised list of owie: Bruised back of left hand from bastard awful failed cannula insertion which hurt so much I nearly cried (Anaesthetist very apologetic). Bruised crook of left elbow where I had several blood draws including a messed up one already, but where the cannula had to go in the end anyway so tough. Mysterious scratch on inner wrist, possibly to do with Anaesthetist’s chirpy announcement she likes to do acupuncture on her sleeping patients to hasten their recovery oh my horsey God. Tender area between waist and ribs on right side of abdomen, I think courtesy of Satsuma-wrangling. Tender achy Satsuma, who is clearly feeling hard-done-by (and oh, Lord, but wasn’t she sore when I came round. Thank you tramadol). Attacks of menstrual-ish cramp whenever I pee. And there is no way in aitch-ee-double-hockeysticks that I’m getting into anything with a waistband this week. On the plus side, I am peeing, and I’m not bleeding.

Item – Thirteen eggs! It seems to me that Satsuma, Queen of Passive-Aggression that she is, decided to be as helpful as possible in the most fucking awkward way possible. Yes! I will grow many many eggs, all by myself I might add, and I will take them with me to relax on your lungs because I can’t work in these conditions why won’t you people leave me alone. What do you mean, giant needle through the vagina? I just grew all these! Absolutely fucking not, you can’t have them, I’m leaving, Harold, and taking the babies with me! [Who the hell is Harold? – Ed.]

Item – As of this morning, I am taking two Cyclogest pessaries a day, morning and evening, fore or aft. I am going with ‘fore’ for the moment because [TMI] farting after the insertion of melty waxy substances aft is traumatic. I am instructed to go aft on day of transfer. Joy. I am still on Metformin, and Prednisolone. Tonight, I stuck my poor abused muffin-top with 40mg of Clexane, in a pre-loaded syringe that goes ‘bang’ when it’s done. Have you ever had a stout elastic band snap and ping you? Feels like that. I have ice. And all those, plus the Intralipid infusion yesterday (Golly that was boring. And I had to call for the nurse to unplug the drip-stand from the wall so I could go to the loo. Dignity), are to stop my rabid and unreasonable immune system from savaging the putative embryo when or if we put one back.

Item – Speaking of Putative Embryos, Riverside called this morning to let us know that of the thirteen exhaustingly retrieved eggs, nine had played nice with H’s little gentlefolk and fertilised. Nine! Nine embryos!

Item – They will now spend the weekend in a nice warm incubator, I hope behaving themselves impeccably and dividing neatly and evenly and in a timely fashion. And yes, it does feel surreal and slightly wrong that they’re all the way over there and I’m all the way over here. On Monday at 8am, the embryologists will let us know how they all got on, and we have to decide right there and then whether to do Day 3 CGH, Day 5 CGH, or stick any sorry remainder straight back in without testing. Or if they’re all dead, of course. The attrition rate on this is not for the milky with human kindness. So Transfer could be anywhere between Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, next cycle as FET, or never because life’s a sod like that.

Item – I am cycling rapidly between delight (‘nine! Nine embryos!’), Jewish motherishness (‘And what was wrong with the other eggs? Eh? Eh?’ (my first Jewish Mother joke about me! I’m so proud)), and profound irritable despond, because what’s the point and why would I ever assume it would work, and I’m sad and I’m tired. H being anxious and cranky as well, we had a, uh, frank exchange of unflattering opinions. This sucks.

Item – Nine!

Item – Ow.

Item – Nine!

20 responses to “Parnassus (temporarily)

  • starrhillgirl

    Nine! Go you! And H!
    Now go drink some more and rest up.

  • Korechronicles

    Nine! Everything that I can possibly cross, which is not a lot given my advanced years and recently strained back ligaments, is currently in the crossed position.

  • MFA Mama

    NINE! Whoo! If nothing else, at least after this you will know that you have Tried Everything. Being a natural pessimist, I am all about the minimization of regrets, and am glad you are giving this a shot whatever the outcome. But by Godiva, I sure hope it works!

  • Jo

    That Satsuma, she’s a moody little bugger, isn’t she? I am so glad that your doc didnt let her have her way. Nine!!!!!! I am so damn pleased with the two of you. Hoping they all survive the weekend, giving you lots to fret over come Monday morn. Hugs, hugs, and more hugs.

  • Betttina

    Nine! Nine!! Good girl, Satsuma!

    I had 12 eggs, 8 were mature, 6 fertilized and frozen promptly. Thawed all six, two survived to transfer and I have one two-year-old who was born exactly on her due date after I made a big fuss that due dates are just ESTIMATES. (I also have severe endo and got a nice break with nine months of pregnancy and nine months of breastfeeding. Well, I mean, she is still nursing, but my cycles returned at nine months postpartum.)

    IVF is amazing.

    I am so very happy for you. I smile every time you update. Such wonderful news!

    (And some activia yogurt the week of transfer is a good thing. They do not want you straining to poop.)

  • bionicbrooklynite

    Um, hells to the no, creepy chirp-face anesthetist, it is 1000% UNCOOL to do medical procedures on unconsenting, unconscious patients. W the actual F.

    Meanwhile, good on you all! I commend all 12 of you, the embryos, you, H, and satsuma. Now curl up and drink some Gatorade or miso soup or something. You’ll be wanting those electrolytes.

    It is odd, isn’t it, the idea that the wee beasties are off somewhere miles away? My dear friend referred to it as their time in daycare, which I found quite a nice idea. Xo

  • a

    9! Awesome! I hope they’re very happily dividing in the incubator and that you have lots of choices soon…

    I hope the soreness goes away soon – both the physical and the part that makes you exchange unflattering opinions with H.

  • Betty M

    Nine is fabulous. Really. Hope they are doing their stuff nicely over the weekend.

  • Twangy

    9 is a beautiful number. Fingers tightly crossed.

    So glad to hear you are safely chaise-longued and hoping you can rest now after All That. Poor stabbed bits. And yet, isn’t IVF amaaaazing?

  • jjiraffe

    Yay, nine! I’m really, really hoping that was your first Jewish mother joke of many. We Jewish mothers need some new material, and if you can make Satsuma this funny, well.

  • Chickenpig

    9 is a wonderful number! Even for those of us who have two ovaries. You and Satsuma outdid yourselves!

    Extra long needle. *shudder* The worst thing about the retrieval pain is that it shows up in very odd places where heating pads just can’t go. I can’t wait to hear the news on Monday. You make IVF exciting and entertaining, even to someone who has done it as many times as I have 🙂

  • Blanche

    Sending excellent thoughts to the 9!

  • Sheila

    Well done you – 9 embryos from one ovary is an outstanding, top of the class type result!

    As an amusing aside, when I first read “bruised crook”, I read it as something else beginning with c and ending with k and wondered why H hadn’t mentioned it yesterday…..

    Be kind and gentle to yourself over the next few days – I did the same as you and took off the time between retrieval and transfer back and think it’s the best thing to do. Back to work post transfer then helped to distract me (slightly) from the constant underwear watch.

    So, so hoping that this will be the one for you May.

  • Sheila

    Forgot to say – cyclogest – ewwwww. The never ending white period – just yuck. I actually found clexane easier to deal with than cyclogest. You can get non spring loaded clexane – means the sharps bin lasts longer too, as it’s a much smaller apparatus.

  • L.

    Nine is an awesome number! Go both of you! Hope the next week goes swimmingly. It sucks to argue, but these are pretty high-strung times psychologically and probably neurochemically as well. Hang in there.

  • Valery Valentina

    the phone, is it ringing yet? flowcharts at hand? fingers crossed for bright decisions. For the possibility of decisions. For 8 and 9 cells…
    For not fainting with the heat.
    bestest of luck.

  • Womb For Improvement

    Been reading on my phone but at last can type a comment to say congratulations! Nine is a great number to be starting off with. I get the disappointment with the other four, but that is a very respectable drop off. I have everything crossed for you – very, very best of luck. xxx

  • Melissa

    YAY for nine! Heal up, and I can’t wait for an update!

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