Item – I had an anecdote for you! Here it is: While I was talking to the nurse yesterday morning, the subject of H came up. We established that he could stay with me all day if he liked, or do his *cough* his role and then go to work and come back for me later, and that he was in, ah, uh, a ‘perfect state of readiness’ for Friday. ‘And we have wifi,’ said the nurse brightly, ‘so he can bring in a laptop or iPad…’ *pause* … *longer pause* … *oh dear God, when will this pause ever end* ‘So he can work! While he waits! Check his email!’ And I started giggling helplessly, so she tactfully left me to it while she fetched me a fresh sharps container. I am very mature.
Item – The trigger shot of Ovitrelle was sub-cutaneous, and very much not a big deal at all, which was not quite disappointing, as such, but up until I stuck the needle in, H had been cheerfully remarking that ‘this is the starting pistol!’ and yeah, that thought? Not soothing. At all.
Item – Also not a soothing thought: ‘Why the fuck are we doing this? It’s not going to work. It’s so expensive. What if something goes wrong? Why can’t I be happy childless? Many people are happy childless. Why not me? This is insane. I have stabbed myself with a needle dozens of times in the past fortnight. I could’ve gone to the opera and a fancy restaurant every night this week instead and staid in pocket. Oh my God shut up, May.’
Item – It now actually feels weird to not be doing any injections tonight.
Item – I took Satsuma and her probably-18 protegees to work today, to finish off all the projects I had outstanding or at least hand them over neatly annotated. And, while I now go ‘ooof’ every time I bend over, because Satsuma is taking up a weirdly disproportionate amount of room (as well as trying to get as far away from Cute Ute as humanely possible), to be honest, that ovary has made more fuss when growing the one bloody egg. And Cute Ute the Despoiler herself is not hurting me that much either. Normally I am in serious pain from about day eight to day twenty-one of each cycle. Hopped up on fertility meds? I had about three or four actually sore days, and since then the odd twinge or stabby pain, and Sats aches a bit. It’s weird. It’s actually a little freaky. I was expecting to be floored by it all. Is this the Prednisolone? It is, isn’t it? I am not inflamed.
Item – Can’t do my sodding jeans up, though. Wanna see my bruises?
Item – I was staring vaguely at a tree while waiting for the bus this evening, and I thought ‘if this actually works, by this time tomorrow our children will be getting themselves conceived.’ Which was freakish and optimistic both together. I’m not sure what the tree had to do with it, but it’s a very nice tree and I stare at it a lot. And it being July, it is covered in ripening cherries right now.
Item – H gave me a rose-scented chocolate truffle and a cup of ‘soothing’ herbal tea, to mark the Ceasing of the Eating. I do not know if I am doing this because I will have a general anaesthetic tomorrow or I might have a general anaesthetic because they’ve harpooned my bowel in the hunt for Satsuma the Elusive. I’m serious. I don’t know if I’ll be out cold or merely sedated. Let’s find out the hard way.
Item – And now I am going to have a shower and braid my hair. Sleep tight, Gentle Readers. I won’t.