I do not understand the anything at allness of anything at all

We received an email from Dr George today, saying, basically, ‘as I said in my letter…’. And H called me from work to say ‘WHAT LETTER?’ and that’s the problem right there. Dr George sent us a letter explaining all about the changes in plan and we never got it.

Though his explanation for the buserelin prescription was a little more, well, less. He did it via email while out of the office, apparently. I can only imagine that the nurses pestered him at home about it, and he emailed it in without double-checking who it was for and why, because why the hell would someone want buserelin if it wasn’t needed for something? And ta-dah! Cock-up.

HOWEVER, in our email to him, the ‘what’chu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?’ email, we pointed out that the original reasoning behind the buserelin was to give the endometriosis/adenomyosis a good ol’ squashing, so I don’t start The Cycle Of The IVF puking hysterically (puking hysterically! I kill me!) and will be more available for wanding (personal comfort apparently a factor. Who knew?). So now Dr George is saying ‘oh, what the hell, do two weeks’ buserelin suppression anyway, and then we’ll go on to an antagonist protocol’.

The reason behind the antagonist protocol? My AMH is ‘excellent’. And that plus PCOS equals quite a risk of OHSS. Which we all agree is a Bad Thing. So. This all seems perfectly sane, and would’ve seemed sane from the off if we’d received that bloody letter.

So. Plan. Buserelin, then antagonist protocol, with steroids. After collection, intralipids and clexane (heparin). Meanwhile, the point of being on metformin (oh, yes, I forgot yesterday to mention the actual point) is that it lessens the risk of OHSS in vulnerable patients (hello! That would be me!).

My eyes looked fairly normal this morning. I don’t know what to do about the metformin anymore. Bloaty farty bog-addict I can live with, exploding liver I (natch) can’t. I wonder if H was just being vaguely hysterical (ha! Hahahaha!) about my eyes. I haven’t taken any metformin today while I worry about it and prod myself repeatedly in the solar plexus (nada).

Meanwhile, Satsuma and my bladder had a competition to see who could give me the most grief, and I am in so much pain in that general area I feel vaguely sick, and have gone all morose. It would be just like Satsuma to pop early this cycle, and make me do maths. Silly gonad.

[Enter flock of unicycling pygmy goats playing the famous bit from La Forza del Destino on teeny tiny violins]

30 responses to “I do not understand the anything at allness of anything at all

  • a

    Good Lord, you are medically complex! Well, whatever – I hope it all works as it’s supposed to…

    (Also, I never believe that “lost in the mail” nonsense. The man has email, phones, etc. Grrr… The proper response would have been a phone call followed up with a letter recapping your conversation. Grrr again)

    • Mina

      You’re a hoot. I bet your doctors talk about you often at their soirées, that is after they messed up something in your chart. The pygmy goats always help anyone make better sense out of anything. Send them to serenade dr. George. And perhaps his letter sending minion, who is obviously not doing a good job, or any job at all, for that matter.

    • May

      I am resigning myself to being a total outlier in every way. If it’s weird and statistically bonkers, it will be me. Heigh ho.

      I know. I want to give him a pass on the ‘letter lost in post’, and I also want to SCREAM VERY ANGRILY. I am conflicted. Agida!

  • Valery Valentina

    pfff, handwritten letter because he can’t trust his computer or the interwebs? so can’t email you a copy? confusing when so many little things in so many different areas go haywire.
    three-week wait now?

    • May

      OK, now I want that letter to be on papyrus with a reed pen and lots of little horned vipers and twisted flax symbols.

      Possibly less than two weeks. Satsuma is… up to something. Very much so.

  • Sheila

    Meant to ask on the last post what metformin actually does, so thank you for explaining that one…. Meanwhile, I guess we can excuse the fuckery from Dr George if this round is successful. Boooo to current painfulness and *applause* for the mental imagery created by your last line!

  • starrhillgirl

    What ho the steroids? And – wow – what I meant by that was, why do they have you on steroids?
    I have a quite a large stash of heparin, myself – the wimpy kind we call lovenox – and I keep wondering what to do with it.

    • May

      Steroids because me and my weird borderline immune issues which don’t seem to have a proper diagnosis but show up on tests in a vague sort of way, also, at this point, we Try All The Things (except Neupogen. Because that’s DAFT).

  • Hairy Farmer Family

    I am all worried and nervous about you developing OHSS. I developed stonking great OHSS – on an antagonist cycle – so if you can _possibly_ bear the Metformin for another few weeks (obvious caveat: YELLOW eyes?! Ummm…. *anxiety for May*) then I would have a bash at sticking with it.

    [J & I were only saying the other day how stupidly, ridiculously ill I was with OHSS, and how I should absolutely have been in hospital (I could barely, you know, BREATHE) and the only reason I wouldn’t let him call an ambulance was that I had pessimistically Accepted Death Was Imminent and the thought of being carried over the dirty washing, down the stairs, into an ambulance and jolting 31 miles to hospital… no. Just no. OHSS is now my Big Scary Monster, and I can feel myself stealthily grasping a mental poker and taking up position outside your front door in order to batter it senseless if it has the temerity to turn up. YOU SHALL NOT PASS!]

    Oh, May! Busy times! *bites nails*

    I am going to get a flock of pygmy goats, purely for your delectation, and start training them. I can just tell J they are destined to be Goat Curry when they are older, and then express monstrous surprise when they don’t grow. Who couldn’t love ears like that?

    • May

      EVERYONE is all worried and nervous about me developing OHSS. Therefore, obviously, I shan’t, because I never do anything expected. Expect the unexpected!

      Umm. Bugger the laundry. GO TO HOSPITAL NEXT TIME. If there should be a next time, caveat caveat soothing face as applicable. Umm. Jeez. Scary lady. Oy. (Mind you, I nearly died of shame being scooped off the FILTHY bathroom floor by paramedics that time. I had practically made a pillow out of hairballs and dustbunnies. Oy).

      My nails are down to the quick, and I am contemplating some kind of hideous hand-gnawing incident.

      Pygmy goats! This is the best pygmy goat photo in the world:

  • Twangy

    Oh! So much going on.

    Well, I sort of think Dr George has redeemed himself..? But he needs to work on his communication skillz. Complete forgiveness will be forthcoming when due.

    Apart from that, generally rude finger signals to possible OHSS, actual abdominal pain and metformin side-effects. You are having a time of it, you poor woman.

    • May

      The things that are going on are… oh, cripes, the embryologist! Must consult the embryologists! *runs about in small circles*

      I shall go and put all my rings on, so that my rude finger signals are as bling as possible.

  • Chickenpig

    When you’re doing IVF you’re basically a walking lab rat. The first time they can only tell by your charts and bloodwork and make an educated guess as to what your protocol should be. That’s why it takes an average of 3 cycles to get pregnant with IVF. In my case it took two cycles for the REs to decide that yes, in fact, my giant fibroid of doom could be preventing implantation and that it should be removed, where they had previously thought that since it wasn’t in the cavity it wouldn’t cause a problem.

    • kylie

      huh, on the three cycle average. and boo because I am now not average. And yes, if they used the same approach ivf gets on diseases that caused death there would be howls of outrage. An old boss of mine used to say “well, suck it and see” about issues where we weren’t sure what would happen, and that is what all of ivf feels like.

    • May

      Yeah. I’m half-curious, half-dreading what we’ll find out. Sea-monkeys? Lair of the Dark Lord? Portal? Satsuma going on strike?

      (Fibroids are HORRIBLE. Gah. So sorry).

  • Hairy Farmer Family

    I had an unpleasant dream last night that you were mid-IVF and completely stressed to buggery by it all, and had vanished from work and home. H was combing the streets looking for you and I was sending ‘pleeeease answer your phooooonnnne’ texts. Much worry and consternation. I am SURE this is not a premonition, just… you WOULD answer, yes?!

    • May

      Oh. Ah. *spooky cellos* H and I had a BLAZING ROW about it all last night. I had no idea we were being so loud. Sorry.

      Yes, of course I’d answer, if only because I am the Queen of storming out only to storm back in shouting ‘and another thing!’. *hugs*

  • Jenny F. Scientist, PhD

    I think you are a walking ‘paradoxical effects’. Ack.

  • Korechronicles

    Have been out of communication loop due to Villa Kore being re-designated as Temple of Termites. Am barely keeping my head above the sawdusty remains of my home because it is bloody freezing up there due to no ceilings. Or front door.

    But it all shrivels into insignificance when I read of the never-ending battles that rage on at Chateau M&H. And no, I do not for one second mean the shouty kind. Am praying, since termite invasion has forced me to return to the church or stop shouting “Good God in Heaven” at two second intervals, that all goes according to whatever Plan Letter you have now reached and tickety-boo-ness will reign supreme in the end.

    Forgive ramble as only current cure for termite abode destruction is alcohol in industrial strength buckets.

  • Korechronicles

    And please send the pygmy goats violin symphony to me once you have finished with them. A couple of rounds of Der Hölle Rache Die Zauberflöte should see me through.

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