You tell me

On Tuesday (Tuesday oh my God), the results of my smear (PAP to you) test arrived in the post. Within a week. The NHS has its glorious moments of win, bless the NHS and all who sail in her. They realised, I am given to understand, that long waits for results were freaking women out, and decided to quit that shit, at least in my area.

And my cervix is nice and clean and healthy. Go cervix!

The chlamydia results will take another week or so to turn up, so, meanwhile, onwards.

On Thursday, H took my ‘hi! May’s cervix is A-OK!’ letter with him to Riverside Clinic to be added to my file, and while he was there, get stabbled for HIV/Hepatitis himself. It was a bore, bless him, as traffic made him late, and then while he was being stabbled (which hurt, poor lamb. Same nurse didn’t hurt me at all. On the other hand, it didn’t bruise, and he usually bruises like stink (‘usually’. Hah. And then H stopped himself mid-pity-party when he saw my Eyebrow of Seriously, Dude, Wanna See My Scars?)), another nurse came out to talk to him about my prescription and he wasn’t there (being stabbled in tiny room down corridor), so he had to wait for said other nurse to cycle back round to him, just to tell him my prescription wasn’t actually ready yet, could he come back tomorrow? And then he rushed off to work, later than ever, and peeved.

So I went to get my ‘nasal spray’ (Me: H, dear, did they say which nasal spray? H: Ummm….) on Friday after work, and basically paid Riverside the equivalent of Anniversary Dinner at Expensive Michelin-Star Restaurant With Mucho Booze for Two Hungry Hippos for two tiny weeny bottles of Buserelin.

The fuck is this stuff, anyway? Is it hand-dabbed from the eyes of wild snow-leopard kittens by child-priestesses using kerchiefs of gold thread?

Next step for Little Ox May (who has new scarlet Converse hi-tops on her hooves to stare at as she ploughs on) is to double check whether by ‘day 21’ Dr George meant ‘Day 21 regardless of where you are in your cycle’, ‘Day 21 as in one week after you ovulate, so probably Day 28 for you and your lazy (but weirdly regular) ovary’, or ‘Day 21 as in the day you normally ovulate or shortly thereafter’. In the first case, we’re fine. In the second or third, I shall no doubt fret Satsuma into a bout of performance anxiety and There Will Be Extra Ultrasounds.

The point being, Dr George thinks my endometriosis-raddled pelvis could do with a tad extra suppression, so I am taking 300 mcg of the stuff three times a day (one squirt per nostril, ie two squirts,) which seems a little more than the instructions on the leaflet for infertility treatment, but is the dose for endometriosis treatment. And he did say something about a slightly longer suppression, and he is, I think, aware I ovulate lateish, but I am so used to doctors failing utterly to remember I have PCOS/RPL/one ovary/whateverthefuck that I NEED TO BE ABSOLUTELY SURE WE ALL KNOW WHAT WE ARE DOING AND AM NOT FEELING VERY TRUSTING.

(Speaking of endo-raddled pelvises, I now know exactly, in horrific detail, where the Pouch of Douglas is and which parts of the lower bowel run alongside it from which angle and in what direction. Which was knowledge I was happy to acquire by pretty much any other means, actually).

So. Buserelin acetate. Gentle Readers, so many of you have done this already. Would you be so very kind as to tell me what I can expect, and what to worry about, and what to put up with, with this interesting and irritatingly expensive drug?


11 responses to “You tell me

  • Dr Spouse

    I have no idea, obviously, but very good luck.

  • Betty M

    Not sure about the sniffing variety but the injectable variety made me (even more) bad tempered and stroppy. I do remember the price looked reasonable in comparison to the next stage drugs though which is why there is a totally illegal and please note I’m not advising anyone to do this black market of unused drugs on the message board cycling groups. So excited for you though that you are ticking off the boxes on this one.

  • a

    I’ve got nothing for you, but I am pleased that you have something nice to look at on your hooves…

  • Hairy Farmer Family

    Hmmm. Down-regulation. *thinks* Hot flushes, I remember. No, that’s not right. I had HOTHOTHOT flushes, which causes me on one occasion to stand naked on the drive. And mad heart palpitations, but that is almost certainly a Me Only thing. Hard to tell if the moods are Associated Moods or Just Stress.

    Bowel and uterus duking it out together: aiieee! Much awfulness. The bathroom becomes a torture chamber for several days a cycle for me: I sympathise FULLY.

    Poor Satsuma: being told to play dead following by a sharp Giddy-up! is Difficult For An Ovary and I shall be thinking of her!

  • Jenny F. Scientist, PhD

    No idea about the rest but I can tell you why it’s so expensive: it’s a synthetic (and also modified) peptide, i.e. a small protein, which makes it a total b**** to synthesize (I’ve done it, it sucks) and difficult to purify, and also unstable, AND, in the US, subject to a whole host of annoying FDA regulations on ‘biological products’.

    Perhaps, the next time you see the nice doctor, you could staple a note in red Sharpie to his forehead so he doesn’t forget.

  • Sheila

    It drove my eczema crazy – so my friendly doc (not sure if it’s the same riverside clinic?) let me start the steroids early to get it under control…. It also made me very moody – crying at the drop of a hat sort of thing. Hope the stuff is gentler on you! So excited that the ball is now rolling for you!

  • Everydaystranger

    Buserlin user here! (former, I may add). I was once told by someone that Buserelin was synthesized from the proteins found in nun’s urine. I doubt that’s true but found it a fantastic story. I am not here to freak you out, dearest, not at all, but what HFF said above was right – hot flashes. Like, ON FIRE flashes. Also I wish not to alarm you, but the term “batshit crazy” would be applicable. I was off the walls temperamental – one moment crying over a dog food commercial (every part of me wishes I was making that up, but I am not) to throwing things out of fury. Honestly, it was like PMS multiplied by one million. I had mood swings in the blink of an eye, and they were always on the extreme. It’s the worst part of the treatment, I think, but over soon enough (they make the ass bullets look like a cake walk).

  • g

    Migraines. Migraines daily. That could be just me……

  • kylie

    One of the IVf drugs is indeed based on nun’s urine. Menopausal nuns in Italy (I have no idea why I know this), because they have high levels of whatever hormone is required (progesterone or estrogen, can’t recall). All I know is that none of the brands I had was the one, but I have never had Buserlin, so it could be…

    Haven’t quite ventured into the shady markets with my oversupply, but now I know how to encourage a couple of follicles with the leftover IVF drugs, I may be tempted into having some boosted cycles without paying for supervision.

    My two cents on the drugs- if they are refrigerated shots- take them out a little early, and let them warm up, and inject slooowly. the second point is key.
    Also I found I was less ill feeling if I injected at night.

  • Anonymous

    I would have to agree with batshit crazy, think that just about sums up my buserelin experience. I was injecting, no idea if that makes the slightest difference or not. Everything crossed for you x.

  • Emily Erin

    No experience here, but high hopes for great things. And glad that you’ve got lovely shoes to admire as you keep slogging through the (ahem).

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