Mice and men

The Plan:

  • Step one: Find a private clinic who do hysterosalpingograms of some sort, and check that the interior of the blasted wasteland of my uterus is respectable, and the one-and-only fallopian tube is unblocked and lacking in endometriosis-induced peculiarities (you know the patch of endo in my Pouch of Douglas? I can feel it for over a week after my period finishes, like a sort of bruise).
  • Step two, gentle version: If Cute Ute and her tube are still functional, we do LIT, and then spend three or four months shagging like bunnies in the hope of impregnating me. We may or may not do intralipids at the same time; we will discuss this with Doctor Fourth Opinion when we go for LIT.
  • Step two, fuck it version: If the tube is blocked or damaged, we go straight to IVF. With LIT and intralipids.
  • Step two, scorched earth version: If tube is blocked and Cute Ute is fried, we insert a Mirena coil and then blow the savings on a holiday to Canada/USA/New Zealand/Patagonia/The Ends of the Motherfucking Earth.
  • Step three: if step two gentle version does not work, move to step two fuck it version.
  • Step four: if step two, fuck it version doesn’t work, move to step two, scorched earth version, only possibly with a reduced itinerary, because we’ll have made a sizeable dent in the savings.

So H called any number of private clinics until he found one that would do a ‘hycosy’, as they cutely refer to it, without me needing to be their IVF patient or having an NHS doctor’s referral. It’s a well-known clinic, and conveniently near to work, and doesn’t cost a terrifying amount of money, and they share their results with you immediately (which makes a lovely change from the NHS).

And I am going there tomorrow. By tomorrow evening, I will know. We will know. Hurrah.

I am going by myself, as H has a very, very important meeting he can’t get out of. I’ve had HSGs before, and not suffered vastly, so I am electing to be optimistic, take an ibuprofen, and carry cheerfully on. If this backfires, I will thoroughly and happily enjoy the resultant melodrama. Especially if it gets me off work for a few days.

I am still in rather a state of angry grief about the way the last cycle ended, you see.


18 responses to “Mice and men

  • Womb For Improvement

    A plan! An answer! (Soon.) Best of luck tomorrow.

  • Amy

    I hope that you get only good news and that step two is all that shall be required. My HSG hurt like a motherfucker, though I’m sure you know your tendencies, but still I’d say to take at least four of those ibuprofens!

  • bionicbrooklynite

    I do like a plan, I do. I am glad previous HSGs have been not so bad and hope that this one is similar. Even more, I hope that it results in actionable news and, oh, I don’t know, maybe a very small person? Crazy me. Much love.

  • QoB

    Thinking good, non-blasted-wasteland thoughts…

  • Korechronicles

    Wishing you nothing but great results and a plan that works. Good luck and hugs to you both.

  • Sheila

    Hoping that the hycosy results come back with the right answers for you. Pain or no pain, I think you should take a few days off work regardless!

  • Elissa

    Thinking of you and genuinely hope you aren’t planning any large scale holiday adventures tomorrow evening.

  • a

    Much as I would welcome a visit from you (although, let’s be serious – no one visits the humid, mosquito-infested loveliness that is flyover country), I’m hopeful that scorched earth never comes to pass….well, at least not until the child is out of college. 🙂

    Much luck on the procedure. Given your usual schedule of drugs, I suspect you won’t even need that ibuprofen any more. I don’t know if I think gentle version or fuck it version is the preferred outcome. I’m impatient, so there’s my dilemma…

  • L.

    Wishing you the results that are best for you.

  • staciet

    I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow and crossing all of my crossables.

  • Dr Spouse

    Oh gosh. That’s, well, today. Best of luck.

  • Chickenpig

    Crossing my fingers, toes, and eyeballs that your Earth is fertile and that no scorched policy is needed. I’ve never had really painful HSG’s either. Maybe wicked painful periods = not overly uncomfortable HSG? I hope so.

  • Emily Erin

    Crossing all crossables for you over here and waiting with baited breath.

  • Betty M

    Hope it has all gone really well. I found the ones I had fine with a dose of parecetomol. Can Dr IV do all the rest in his own clinic – hopefully as endless shopping around would be tedious I’m sure.

  • Melissa

    New here, via Womb for Improvement…Best of luck with your hsg today! Your writing style cracks me up but I hope you have less reason to be funny this way soon!

  • Anonymous

    Wishing you all the best.

    K x

  • waterbelle44

    Hi May, I’ve been reading your blog for many years and have been so touched by your extremely difficult journey and your ability to express yourself through this time. In addition to the emotional ‘blah blah I love your blog’ nature of this comment, I wanted to say that I also find you pretty freaking hilarious and dig your writing. I agree with the others in wishing you answers and more importantly – please, please, please, for the love of – whatever, everything!- , good outcomes with this plan.

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