Matters not exactly contiguous

Item – Shall I tell you what was fun? The Hairy Farmer’s Not-So-Hairy Wife came to my demesne, and H and I dragged her over two museums and through the streets in the rain, just to wear her out good-and-proper, then, like the social burrs we are, trailed after her to the concert she’d actually come to town for. And she didn’t mind. Or at least, said she didn’t, because she has beautiful manners. The internet is a weird and wonderful thing, Gentle Readers. It lets you make friends with people because you genuinely like them, rather than just becuase they happen to live nearby and don’t actively terrify and repel you (remember school? Well, I went to boarding-school. There’s a reason we teenage bosom-buddies all lost touch. We were really mostly putting up with each other. And now? On the internets? REAL FRIENDS, thank you).

Item – In matters reproductive, H and I are still waiting for the endometrial biopsy results. Surely they should be arriving any day now? Gah. Frettlement.

Item – Also, Satsuma, being a cow of an ovary, is refusing to be definite about whether she has or has not ovulated, and I have not helped by spending the week on holiday and therefore getting up at all hours of the morning and thereby making basal body temperature unreliable at best. It may have been yesterday. It may not have been. H and I have been, eh, connubial, you know, practice for the well-timed medicated-cycle sex. This may be a two week wait. It may not be. Who knows?

Item – Having another attempt at the Occupational Health interview tomorrow. Will report back.

Item – Oh, and Metformin! Yes! I must tell you! I’m now taking 1500mg a day, in three doses. Side-effects: I am slightly more thirsty than usual. Possible side-effects: one day I ate some meat-balls containing gluten, and then had a few stomach cramps, and the next day I ate a cake and a chocolate mousse and another cake and then my bowels pressed the eject button and there was a very very unpleasant 10 minutes in a public lavatory praying no-one would come in and I thought, is this metformin-plus-cake-overdose? Or is it gluten? Or unholy combination of both? In any case, no more wildly festive cake-partakeathon, no matter how tempting the gluten-free selection acutally is for once.

Item – Related to the metformin, H thinks I have lost weight. I got on the scales, and the scales said ‘hahahahaha no you haven’t. Quite the opposite! Well done!’. Bugger. So I put my trousers on and my belt said ‘no, actually, you are thinner.’ So there’s a side-effect for you. Metformin is turning my bones to lead.

17 responses to “Matters not exactly contiguous

  • Minta

    It was met + cake. I had quite the same reaction to met + wine & cake way back when. Most unpleasant. Still have hemorrhoid issues from that incident…

  • Amy P

    Yes, wonderful internets–you meet people you would never have known existed, that outwardly you have nothing in common with… That you fall in love with and decide is a long-lost sister and glare at an ocean and a continent and 8-hours-time-difference over (and a too-empty-for-passport-much-less-airfare bank account).

  • May ProblemUterus

    For me, metformin plus more than a teeny bit of sugar or refined carbs equals yucky toilet time. I think that’s how it helps me lose weight- the sugar just isn’t worth it any more.

  • a

    That is an unfortunate reaction to cake. And chocolate mousse. Which are perfect complements to waiting…how is this all supposed to work? If you can’t soothe yourself with sugar because the medication reacts badly, what are you supposed to do? And you can’t soothe yourself with alcohol, because…obviously. I guess the Hairy Farmer Wife will have to make more frequent visits so as to provide distraction… I’d come visit, but my husband is taking my vacation time for granted and running it out as quickly as possible by working in another state. 😦

  • chon

    I always read your posts in a high class British accent. You sound like the queen.

  • AMH

    Two things with metformin. First, it prevents your small intestine from absorbing glucose, so it causes a kind of osmotic diarrhea when you consume too much starch or sugar. For quite some time after, every time you drink water, you end up on the toilet. I highly recommend wet wipes.

    Second, met also seems to increase serotonin levels, so I noticed improved mood, which was a bit at odds with all the running to the bathroom, but may also have played a role in my weight loss – less moody eating.

    I also noticed the slimming down but not losing on the scale issue. Weird.

  • kylie

    Oh, I always thought I was the incompetent person at staying in touch with friends from previous schools (3 continents before age 18, there’s a few schools), but facebook reintroduced me to them, and now I know that wasn’t it. Although you have phased more elequently than I.

    Monthly fluctuation in weight? I used to find that there was always a week, no matter how good I was, or how loose the clothing. the scales said no to the weight loss.

  • Twangy

    Dying of envy here. But *I* want to live in London and be all cool too! Wahhhh! {Gets grip on self.}

    It’s true, the internet allows you to hand-select the very best people worldwide. World class friends, I tell you. {Smiles smugly}.

    Ah, yes. Lead, quite plausible. My bones are made of uranium 92, you know. IT’S THE ONLY REASONABLE EXPLANATION. I wouldn’t believe the scales, I go on clothes-fit, every time. Scales: piffling scientific weighing system. Pfft.

    Hoping the metaformin and gluten thing was just a blip. You poor woman, that sounded most unpleasant.

  • Hairy Farmer Family

    I had simply the nicest and very bestest time that it is possible for a girl to have.
    That CARPET! 8-0
    I am hoping that Occy Health went… ok? Kind of ok? No-one kicked inna fork?

    • Grace

      Darling! I know that you, like George R. R. Martin, are not my b****, but I just wanted to say that I miss you! And since you’ve never once offered to visit ME in person (damn Atlantic Ocean precludes driving…for now), the only way I can get my HFF fix is via blog. If we promised to be happy with only a very small “I am alive. My menfolk are still adorable” post, would you consider coming back to us? Maybe? Pretty please with the bribe of your choice on top?

    • QoB

      And if so, summun’ hol’ me cote. Gude. Noo: summun hol’ his arms.

  • Grace

    Oh, good! You’ve found HFF Wifey! Would you please point her in the general direction of her blog and give her a wee nudge? I’ve missed her something awful.

  • Womb For Improvement

    Metformin sounds like a right laugh. Do you ever get the feeling some drugs are concocted by psychopathic doctors who want to see just how far we will go in the quest for a brief window of fertility?

  • Dr Spouse

    PS getting thinner with no shift of the scales means you must have new muscles!

  • Bionic Baby Mama

    I am terribly jealous of both of you.

    Except for the cake thing. YOWZERS.

    (If you’d both come here you’d get to say fun, American things like “yowzers.” Just sayin’. (Or do they say that in Angleland, too? If that’s the case, you’d better come make a comparative study.))

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