Oh! News! We got the results of H’s sperm DNA fragmentation test. And it was….
Completely normal! DNA Fragmentation index, 15.9% (excellent is under 15%, fair to good is 25% to 15%, fair to poor 25% to 50%, oh crap over 50%). High DNA stainability (ie, sperms with immature chromatins and unusual proteins, leading to poor fertilisation rates (which wasn’t really an issue we ever had) 16.1%. Over 25% is considered a bit troubling.
So there’s that.
I confess to a peculiar and indigestible feeling of ‘oh, so you mean we can’t just give the fuck up and put the cash towards six weeks in New Zealand/Canada/Japan/Rajasthan/Antartica delete-as-applicable?’
I mean, I’m relieved as hell.
I’m sad it’s all me, because I feel like a Weight and an Affliction in this marriage (H begs to assure you all he doesn’t think of me in that way at all, and as far as he’s concerned we’re in this together forever).
And where the hell are my thyroid results? I had them taken WEEKS before H’s second visit to the wankatorium.
Meanwhile, my next period is due in about ten days, so I can finally collect the uterine sample and then we’ll have all the tests and then Dr Expensive Will Pronounce and we can decide whether we can be having with any of it, or not, or what? (The Akond of Swat).
In further news, dinner with Dad and assorted siblings and nieces and nephews went very well and we had a very nice time. I don’t… wut? Seriously? I enjoyed it? The hell? It was as if the universe had benignly given me my real Dad back, the infuriating, talkative, charming, loving, cuddly Dad who raised me, and who I used to worship as a little girl. Foul-mouthed drunk grouchy arsehole Dad was a total no-show. He even found time to ask me, quietly, how my health was, and give me a big hug and tell me he was thinking of us and wishing there was something he could do. I damn’ near cried. Was only rescued by (cute, adorable) Sister-in-Law coming in with fresh cocktails. So I got plastered (H assures me that I nevertheless behaved perfectly throughout).
Yours, thoroughly discombobulated,