Item – I didn’t go to work today either. I got up twice in the night to rearrange my sanitary arrangements (seriously, the hell, Cute Ute? Turn it off). I am still pale and in pain (FUCK).

Item – I did, however, drag myself to the Hospital Out In The Countryside to get my Day 3 (day 2 to 4 will do nicely, thank you, according to Miss Consultant) FSH and oestrogen blood-tests. I discovered that if you go late morning, rather than early morning, you don’t have to sit among a regiment of pregnant women waiting for scans and passing the time by bitching to their mothers about how their boyfriend (who isn’t there) only has to look at them yada yada. Phlebotomy shares a waiting room with Maternity, you see, as ACU shares a waiting room with ear-nose-and-throat and, no doubt, leprosy shares with mental health and the artificial limb clinic shares with the renal unit. The place was deserted, anyway, and I was seen and punctured at once by my favourite vampire (he makes the vampire jokes), who is very, very gentle and quick and never leaves bruises. As I left, I told him he was the gentlest phlebotomist I’d ever had, and he said, twinkling ‘oh, dear, do I need to do it again?’

Item – And when I got home I lay down on the bed to rest for five minutes and woke up two hours later. Oh well.

Item – Anyway, I’m going to work tomorrow even if I end up passing out in the middle of the stacks. If no other reason than to remind my superiors that I really am sick as a proverbial.

Item – I have not allowed so much as a crumb of wheat (or gluten) to pass my lips for three-and-a-half months and are my periods ‘better’? Are they buggery. The last two have, in fact, been spectacularly, pointedly, worse. Nor am I happy miraculous pregnant. Nor is my skin any better. Any point continuing with gluten-avoidence, think you, oh wise Internets?

Item – As a macabre little plus, four days of nausea and eating maybe two rice-cakes and a little chicken broth every 48 hours has led to me reaching the elusive BMI of Under 30. I give it until I have an actual meal and promptly pop back up to Obese, but still. Nearly time to call Miss Consultant and get the Mills of NHS grinding on Project IVF.

Item – Oh, hey, do you think I’ll be allowed to call myself a proper infertile then? Because, you know, I’ve found several blogs over the years that all set out to tell the world one can’t possibly be a proper infertile until one has had IVF.


11 responses to “Acceptability

  • xj2608

    Bread! Glorious bread! And cake! Of course, that will probably interfere with the BMI. How about…croutons on your salad? That just doesn’t sound quite as appetizing.

    Apparently wordpress refuses to let me use my google info anymore, because at one time I had to create a wordpress account for something.


  • Korechronicles

    Re xj2608’s comment above: WordPress is now requiring me to log in to my account to comment which has not previously been the case. What is it with developers who believe enhancements that make things more difficult are actually improvements?

    I’m sorry to say but you probably need to persist with the gluten free – dietary changes are slow to show benefits. You often get worse before you get better and it can take six months to a year to see improvement. With the caveat, of course, that improvement is going to come. If gluten is not contributing then…*ducks bread roll thrown from your general direction*

    Sorry that things are so appalling shite. xx

  • Cathy

    May you will always be my favourite improper infertile (long may you continue saying buggery and fuck)

  • Womb For Improvement

    I always feel inclined to sympathise that it doesn’t rain, it pours. What with that and the vein vampires I’m amazed you have any blood left.

    (And not being infertile until you’ve had IVF is a curious measure. I guess infertility didn’t exist before 1978.)

  • Hairyfarmerfamily

    There is just no legislating for the hard of thinking, I suppose. I hadn’t realised IVF was some mythical 50th gameplay level, despite being a world of idiosyncratic warcraft.

    I am inclined to think that a little of what you fancy, etc, and confess that I would have been back on the bread like a ravener by now. Which is why I can’t shift myself below 30 AND YOU HAVE, HURRAH HURRAH HURRAH for svelte goals attained! NHS scales always weigh light: I should ring now!

  • Jenny F. Scientist, PhD.

    I…. really? You have to do IVF to be infertile? And then if it works, is one no longer infertile? The mind boggles.

    “The hard of thinking”, ha ha ha ha ha.

  • bionicbrooklynite

    and here i thought i wasn’t a proper infertile because i hadn’t done enough before IVF.

    i say bring hither the donuts. but then, i would say that.

    regardless, please eat a steak once you can. am worried about your hematocrit. (which i probably spelled wrong, but spellcheck’s only suggestion “crematoria.” not quite it.)

  • wombattwo

    Pfft… those blogs are written by twits. Clearly.

    To be honest, if it were me, I’d give up the gluten-free diet. I mean, not improving is one thing, but actively worsening? Is it really worth it? (Says she, still steadily taking the headache-inducing drugs of complete rubbish that are actively making her periods lighter instead of heavier just so she can finish the 3 months and not feel bad about giving up halfway through, because then she’d never know…) Anyway, you get the drift, I’m sure…

    Please don’t pass out. If you do go to work, can you attach a pillow to your head so you don’t hit it on a stack of books?

  • manapan

    I’d have been on a pasta-a-thon the first time the PMS struck, but I’m notorious for messing up diets. Please stay home and take care of yourself. For me? *insert wet puppy dog eyes here*

  • I’ve even been busy « Nuts in May

    […] blood-test results. NHS promptly fat-shamed me and then lost my latest set of blood-test results (FSH and oestrogen, taken in March). So I told H to set us up an appointment, and he did, and we are going to see this expert on […]

  • Another reason « Nuts in May

    […] doctor. I had been haranguing her secretary for the results of the FSH cycle day 3 test I had back in March (MARCH, people! For the sake of fuck). I’d given up on the bloody results every being found […]

%d bloggers like this: