Two item posts in a row? You’re spoiling… something

Item – My laptop died. I think. Or at least is terminally unwell. I don’t know. I daren’t switch it off and on again in case it melts. But! Happy ending! I have a new (well, second-hand reconditioned) laptop! Which is not terminally unwell! So I may actually post more often, also comment! Wheeeeeeee!

Item – H isn’t very well. Actually, now we stop to do sums, we realised he hasn’t been entirely well for a couple of months, but we kept putting it down to stress (H very much emotes with his guts), or Christmassy rich food, or too much chocolate at Valentine’s Day, or, eh, well, whatever. So he went to the doctor, and the doctor said, oh dear, and wants to test his iron levels, his thyroid, his liver function, blood glucose, his bone somethingorother and his levels of creatine and urea (kidney function, right?). Just in case. Meanwhile H is having text-book symptomatology of IBS. Poor H. He would have IBS. I’ve just mentioned he emotes almost entirely with his gut. If he complains of stomach ache, my first question is now always ‘is anything stressing you out?’, because I know him. His gut knows he’s stressed before his brain does. So I worry. (I emote through the spasming arteries in my skull, whereas. And being wide awake).

Item – Dance workshop last weekend half-slayed me. I am still hobbling about and making distressing rusted-machinery noises every time I have to lift something heavy (including self out of armchair). Would I do it again? Oh, probably. But maybe not for another few months. Years. Months. Another lots of months.

Item – Tangientially, I was glaring at my (static) weight-loss ticker, and gearing up to give myself a psychological kicking, waily waily, which no doubt would have lead to OverEating Extravaganza and self-dislike-spiral-of-sulk, when it occurred to me to check the private little Bridget Jones-style list of weight-loss I was keeping a few months ago. Um. Well. Yes. I’m 5 pounds skinnier than I was then. I am the skinniest I have been for years. I am more than a stone lighter than I was on my wedding day. So, May, leave May the fuck alone, OK? OK. Right.

Item – On matters more internal, this past week has been rather hard on me. I’ve been having very painful cramps every day, usually worse at night (insomnia! There you are!), and generally feeling grim and tired and royally fucked off. Combine this with the Day of UnGodly Misery that kicked off my most recent period, and, well, what in buggery did I give wheat up for then? Eh? EH? Gah.

Item – Of course, Fertile Signs are Fertile again. Am I in the mood for sex? Am I fuck. Or, not fuck. Just, fuck everything. Even me, if possible. Fuck it.


8 responses to “Two item posts in a row? You’re spoiling… something

  • a

    Bring back the wheat! Congratulations on being a more aware and lighter May. Give yourself a break.

    Poor H. There is nothing worse than an overactive gut.

  • Melissia

    May, wheat may not be the only thing you need to give up. I hate to be the bearing of bad news, but do some research on lectins. They are in wheat and also in grains and beans. Wikipedia has a good article about them. My neuro doctor had me start a diet, the Paleo diet which excludes lectin containing foods and my very very bad migraines and stomach problems went away. Who knew?

  • Bachelor's Button

    Hi – there is a brilliant nutritionist – charlotte watts (google her) UK based, Brighton, who in the 6 weeks before my pregnancy sent me a relatively disciplined programme for eating and of supplements that I ENJOYED and helped me lose 23lbs! It was actually quite nice – didnt feel deprived at all. Given that I hadnt lost an ounce in over 4 years – and had some similar issues to you, I think could be worth contacting her….? Different things work for different folk, but you never know….

  • valeryvalentina

    O dear… can/should we blame H’s new job for the extra stress? (or is there no point in blaming the origin, just finding a way to deal with it?)
    Good news on another laptop that doesn’t die.

    further: just more hugs.

  • Betty M

    Poor H. Get well soon. There have been some horrid low level gastro bugs going round perhaps he got one and due to stress etc can’t shift it. either way hope all the tests are ok.

    I have been trying to guess what style your dance workshop was – tango maybe? Or trad folk? Or street dance even? Actually maybe not street. I just don’t think that’s you two!

  • minichessemouse

    Oh May, many many hugs.

    it does sound like you are having a rotten time of it lately!

  • korechronicles

    Hope the dance workshop was not tap as I am the tap diva and will brook no competition! No matter what the dance style I am glad you went all out…dancing is a great stress reliever. Which is why I do the one that has all the foot stamping in it.

    Sorry to hear Hi is suffering with gut issues. My GP told me years ago that there is a form of gut migraine as well…not sure I would like to choose between them. Migraines suck mightily no matter where the blood vessels begin their sneaky attack.

    And I can also recommend the Paleo Diet. I did really well on it but as usual began to let more treats in until I reached Total UnPaleo status and all the uglies returned. You can actually feel worse before you feel better but it is no more than a few days and once you push through them the difference is amazing. I’ll never stop loving bread though!

    Wishin’ and hopin’ that there are better days ahead for you both! xxoo

  • Hairy Farmer Family

    Oh God, Poor H. Like mastodons across the sewage swamp, my complaining intestine calls to his! I totes have IBS of some description; I didn’t actually make the necessary brain connections until relatively recently. I’m not sure how to relate it to stress, though. It certainly *causes* me stress, but I’m not sure it flares as a result of it. If it did, I would be sad. So I AM sad that H emotes with his gut, because CrampSpasmOuchGorblimeyPurgatory. I am trying to eat more porridge, on the basis that Oats Are Supposedly Good. (Will report back. Delicately and euphemistically.)

    Svelt May! Hurrah!

    Day Of Ungodly Misery-suffering May! *loud raspberry* Forswearing bread in exchange for ungodly misery seems a rotten piece of luck. Co-incidence? Not co-incidence?

    Tell me again, Universe: why the fuck does this all have to be so hard?

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