Where the hell have you BEEN, May?

Item – Work has been rather a time-suck. Several people are off ill, a few more are on leave, and then a colleague was carted away in an ambulance, which was such fun (I have never run up and down the stairs so fast so many times before. I even ran in the library, which is sacrilege. Said colleague had damn well get better, is all). What with all the drama and absence, it has fallen upon us the noble remnants to keep the place from disintegrating into chaos, and this is both stressful and timeconsuming.

Item – I don’t know what my insides are up to, but they hurt a lot. At a guess, what with it being Bonfire Night, Satsuma and the Cute Ute got carried away and smuggled in a Catherine Wheel.

Item – I am coming down with another cold. At least, I hope it’s only a cold. I’ve been alternating between shivery and sweaty for days, and my head is almost permanently achy. And H is coming down with the exact same thing, and we moan and bitch at each other and make each other tea and toast.

Item – H has an unpleasant infection of, of all places, the nasal cavity. He has taken to having nosebleeds several times a week. I find this a tiresome and messy habit, especially when they start in the middle of the night. Ugh, more blood-stained sheets, and towels, and carpets, though I suppose it’s an interesting change that the blood is his instead of mine for once. He had been previously given an antibiotic cream to stick up his nose for ten days, so he did, and then the nosebleeds came back, so he went to the GP again, who said no no no no no, the cream needs to be used for six weeks.

Item – So, you know, I live with a sniffing, bad-tempered, blood-streaked-mustache chap who snorts white stuff up his nose four times a day, and every bin in the house contains a little hellish heap of blood-and-snot encrusted tissues and Q-tips. Seriously tempted to tweet or facebook that last sentence. Heh heh heh heh. No.

Item – So we have not been having sex either. This cycle is pants.

Item – I am so, so, sick of infertility. So sick of my stupid insides. So sick of charting and waiting and checking and hoping and ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. Don’t want to talk about it or think about it.

Item – As for the rescheduling thing, I’ve temporarily given up trying to get a nurse to call me back. I thought, what do most women who don’t frantically chart everything do, when they get caught by surprise menstruation? They call the hospital and cancel, is what they do. They do not try to discuss what to do IF their period starts with a nurse, weeks before hand, when the answer is, well, we’ll reschedule. We don’t know when. When we’ve got a space freed up by another woman cancelling her operation because her period started.

Item – It’s very hard to care, anyway. Because, like I said, I have had enough of this shit. I’ve had so much of enough I find it hard to drag the energy to be the Squeaky Wheel out of my Give-A-Fuck-Haversack. I am going to have a large glass of wine and go to bed early, so the Four Horsemen of The Workapocalypse, Tetchy, Entitled, Confused, and Just Plain Wrong, have a nice fresh May to trample into the nylon carpet tomorrow.


15 responses to “Where the hell have you BEEN, May?

  • BigP's Heather

    Poor H, that sounds miserable! Hope your bedroom is never the scene of an accident with all that DNA floating around

  • katie

    How about tying a plastic bag to H for the tissues?

  • kylie

    Oh, for the days of not being sure to the exact hour of when the period might strike. I miss those days of neither knowing, nor caring where in the cycle i was.

    Let the date stand- you never know what may happen to your cycle

  • Betty M

    Sorry it is all such a pile of blood and snot in so many ways. Sending rapid recoveries to H, to you and to the assorted ill from work too so you can have some peace and quiet.

  • bionicbrooklynite

    i was just wondering where you were. am rather disappointed to hear it isn’t “run off on a surprise trip to aruba.”

    was sort of hoping it was one of your nosy, obnoxious colleagues who collapsed, but i assume they wouldn’t inspire R.I.T.L. (Running In The Library). bah.

  • a

    A. Is Katie suggesting that you put a plastic bag over H’s head? That seems harsh.

    B. Bionic Brooklynite had the right idea – Aruba is probably sufficiently warm and humid enough to make for happy nasal passages, and a happy May

  • Valery Valentina

    so sorry you are sick of it. and almost sick.

  • Womb For Improvement

    You’re allowed, and justified, to be sick of this. I’d suggest going on the coil for 6months to give yourself a break, but I suspect your reaction would be the same as mine if someone suggested the same (HORROR at the idea of missing 6 months of conception opportunities). Hopefully these feelings will disappear with the cold and nose bleeds.

  • wombattwo

    Hugs. Many.
    On a medical note, it’s worth getting someone to have a look up H’s nose. He possibly has a vessel that could be cauterised which would hopefully sort out the problem. There is a study somewhere that states there is no difference in outcome from using 6 weeks of naseptin (the cream) compared to cauterisation, but I think it might be in children. Besides, it’s very messy, this bleeding lark. Hospitals with an ENT department will also have an emergency clinic (we had one every day) where stuff like this gets seen and sorted. If his GP were to phone up I highly doubt it’d be a problem getting him seen.

    • Hairy Farmer Family

      I was chatting with http://katyboo1.wordpress.com & friend Andrea earlier today about nose-cauterisation, what with nose-bleeds being the bloggy affliction du jour. It’s such a pleasingly medieval treatment!

    • H

      The GP did have a really good hard look (unlike the previous one who only put me on 10 days of cream) – and I mean hard, my eyes were watering as he scraped the optic around. He said he couldn’t see the source of the bleeding, but he would try to cauterised if the cream didn’t work (he removed and cauterised a skin tag of mine a couple of years ago, so can be done at the GPs rather than in hospital). He also mentioned that nasal cauterisation is not often very effective, as it often comes out when you blow your nose – I remember from my skin tag experience I had to keep it dry for at least a week, nasal passages aren’t exactly dry…

      • wombattwo

        Glad your GP had a good look. Sometimes the bleeding vessels can be further back though, that’s why it’s sometimes necessary to look with a camera instead (which most GPs don’t have).

        • May

          You wouldn’t believe the amount of nagging it took to get him to go to the GP in the first place. I had to threaten to banish him to the spare room for the rest of his life.

          I did wonder if he had polyps (hello, H! We’re talking about you!). So I still think he needs to go to a specialist and have a camera jammed right up there after all. I don’t think I have the strength to convince him. Eheu.

  • Hairy Farmer Family

    “I have had enough of this shit. I’ve had so much of enough I find it hard to drag the energy to be the Squeaky Wheel out of my Give-A-Fuck-Haversack.”

    Oh, I get it. I do so very much Get It.

    I’m so, sorry May. This whole experience is dreary cuntish misery, with a side order of anguished agony. It has been your turn for so blasted LONG. Nil desperandum, naturally, but… sigh. I feel your despondency. All I have are hugs, and I offer them in abundance.

    And the offer to steal our own ultrasound machine: that totally still stands. If there were ever a pair of broads that needed an extra insight…!

  • g


    I’m so sorry. Always here crossing everything I’ve got…


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