I am taking a break from answering questions – I know there are still some to ‘do’, panic not – to talk about yesterday’s appointment with Miss Consultant the Gynaecologist.
It dawns on me that I’ve been ‘seeing’ Miss Consultant for four and a half years now. No wonder she’s so chatty these days. We’re practically old friends.
Anyhow, I went in there utterly determined to get her to take the goddamn Periods From Satan’s Seventh Circle seriously. I am very worried that I have full-blown endometriosis now, as I have whinged before on this very blog, and it has got to the point where I don’t care what it is, it needs to be stopped if at all possible. And so I said, with detailed descriptions of the Pee Fail and the diarrhoea and the weeks of cramps and the throwing up.
She was very pleased I was getting said periods so regularly, though. Well, so am I, in principle. Principle has met Practice in combat and has retired weeping from the field, alas.
Miss Consultant obligingly went back over my notes, remarking as she did that there were rather a lot of them now (ho, yus!), and checked what exactly was done and found four years ago. Adhesions on the left side from the surgery 14 years before that that had removed my left ovary and fallopian tube, and a few small adhesions near the right ovary (our valiant if ornery Satsuma). No endometriosis then. She even had pictures. However, my latest ultrasound did indicate fibroids and ‘was indicative of adenomyosis’, according to the notes. Also, my poor godforsaken uterus is ‘bulky’. Charming. However, Miss Consultant did point out that endometriosis can develop at any time and we don’t really know exactly how it starts, and it is associated with adenomyosis, so it could very well be present now. She agreed that my symptoms were worrying, and that endometriosis made it harder for a woman to get pregnant even if it wasn’t actively blocking tubes or scarring ovaries.
I nodded vigorously at this. I haven’t been pregnant since February. Which is – ha ha – not like me.
We drifted briefly back past the subject of IVF. Miss Consultant is glad I’m ovulating regularly [you’ve said that bit – Ed], but would like me to lose more weight so I can do IVF if I need to. I’m ‘nearly there!’, as she said encouragingly. I am grumpily aware that I was (just) of correct body mass two weeks ago, and spending a long weekend eating crème brûlée has a disproportionately unfavourable effect on my relationship with the scales, also I get bloaty when I ovulate. Shut up, I totally do.
We then returned to the subject of The Pain, missing six days of work at a time, etc. Miss Consultant then said, bracingly, that it sounded as if I needed another laparoscopy, during which they’d be able to treat any endometriosis they found, and while I was at it, another hysteroscopy and dye-through-the-tubes test.
I hadn’t expected her to agree, you know. I thought I was going to have to make more of a fuss. And while I sat there gaping like a carp, she briskly started filling in the paperwork for my referral to the surgical unit and follow-up appointments.
The waiting list is four months. That’s Christmas arsed completely up again. I hate Christmas, you know.
Anyway, I think I ovulated the day before yesterday. Therefore I shall next be royally incapacitated on the 22nd of August. I am telling the internets this because H and I are going away for another long weekend that weekend. *Shakes fists at sky*