Item – Do you know what really annoys me? I’ll tell you what really annoys me. I find it really annoying when people post coy little updates on FuckBonk that set my Pregnancy Radar™ beeping like a dozen reversing trucks. Coy little updates about half of their friends understand, resulting in loooong complicated threads in which the In-The-Know circle are having a Who’s Coyest competition and everyone else is shouting ‘What is going on? What? WHAT?’ I’ve been lucky so far, in that most of my pregnant acquaintance have either let me know they were, actually, pregnant, before mentioning it on FB, or have had no interest whatsoever in being coy and cranking the ‘Everybody Pay Attention To ME‘ handle to eleven. And, to be honest, I haven’t had that many pregnant acquaintance. And I am also grateful that this particular distant relation is pleased and happy and thankful that all is well so far. I think if I had to put up with coy, Pregnancy Radar enbeeping crap that was whiney, I’d lose what little of my shit I still have. But still.
Item – I also find it deeply annoying that I am still so bitter, miserable and petulant that it hurts me to read of other people skipping perkily back from the ultrasound with good news. The only good news an ultrasound ever gave me was ‘well, it’s not ectopic…’. I want to be delighted. Well, I am delighted. But the delight is thickly carbuncled over with sharp, ugly, poisonous shards of memory. Damn it damn it damn it damn it damn it.
Item – While I’m on the subject of other people’s reproductive successes, I have no objection to a person posting FuckBook updates about potty-training, nappy-filling, puke-in-hair, pee-all-over-daddy etc. (I am not STFU Parents (though, I do so love STFU Parents)), as long, and this is very important, said updates are amusing. If person is not amusing, person, actually, after all, should STFU. Even the non-infertile crowd are not interested in baby shit per se. An they were, they’d be the most revolting perverts in perv land. Seriously. Anyone except you (and, oh, OK, close family) who gives any kind of a monkeys about your child’s nappy-contents, should be dragged out and shot for their own good. So make it funny.
Item – Anything else? Oh, yes, my period is due on a weekend, again. The Positive Thinking Fairy thinks this is excellent, because then I won’t miss too much work this month! Yay! Bitter McTwisted and I are planning on catching her later and flushing her head down the loo.