My name is May and I am an eejit

OK, yes, so I was (am) menstruating, and regular readers will know that for me this is less of a natural, normal process showing how my body is healthy and in tune and obeying the rhythms of life and more of a farrkin’ ELL who set this nail bomb off in my pelvis?

However, this time it was going quite well. For me. I took enough painkillers early enough, and so, OK, I was crampy most of Thursday, but I was functional, and OK, so I really started bleeding and hurting on Friday, and yes, it really hurt, but it didn’t hurt as much as I alas know it can hurt. (For example, on a really bad day, it hurts so much I can’t speak coherently, I can’t stand up straight, I can’t stand at all for long before I feel dizzy, and I puke a lot. I spend hours on end lying face down on the bed, groaning and whimpering at intervals, not because I want to, but because I really, genuinely, can’t do anything else).

This time, I was sore, and had to lie down a lot, as standing made the cramps worse, and I was grouchy as hell and bitched non-stop from the moment I woke up to the moment H left for work and I had no-one to bitch at, but I did not puke or go all incoherent and sheet-white in the face. And I did not lie down on the living-room carpet because the bedroom was just too far to crawl to. Saturday was even better, in that there were hours of infuriating constant cramp and ache that made it hard to concentrate on anything much, but I managed to eat a little something, read, and bitch at H all over again. Sunday, I felt great. I woke up in no pain at all. I read books. I had a shower. This was fabulous. I… forgot to keep taking the painkillers. What? I felt fine, didn’t I? Why would I need to keep taking these, after all, worryingly strong painkillers if I felt fine?

So, obviously, by mid-afternoon I felt like shit again, degenerating through bitching at H, to lying down, to lying down with whimpers and nausea.

Aaaaand back on the painkillers.

I think they must lower my IQ by about 90 points.


12 responses to “My name is May and I am an eejit

  • H

    I do feel guilty for not insisting/nagging. On this sweltering day, I did go and buy ice cream to try and make up for it.

  • Betty M

    Yup H has a free pass on this one. Particularly as he brought ice cream.

  • Quiet Dreams

    I think pain lowers the iq and you were probably having the residual effects. So sorry about all this. Were we in the same country I would loan you my dog for some comfort. Unless you hate dogs, in which case I wouldn’t, because that would just be cruel.

  • a

    I suspect that many of us have an inherent distrust of pharmaceuticals – it’s the part of you that says “Oh, I feel FINE! I don’t need any drugs!” Kind of like schizophrenics…

    Next month, I’d put H in charge of the dispensary.

  • Amy P

    H is off the hook. Because, really, if he weren’t, the poor man couldn’t win. In trouble for nagging, or in trouble for not nagging…

  • Valery

    or maybe cold chocolate milk? Do you have Chocomel there? I find that flavour so soothing…

  • twangy

    You poor crater, as the JB would say. (It’s not a literal crater. It’s.. well, I don’t exactly know what it is. It’s a west of Ireland expression of great concern.) Anyway, ehem. I do hope you feel better now.


  • bionicbrooklynite

    oh my. i think i know this one. i’ve done it, too. seems to me that and my urge to explain myself ala “i’m lying here on the floor groaning bc i have to, not bc i want to,” (who would want to??) both spring from some ferociously insistence part of my brain that hates being sick so much that it thinks insisting it’s well will change everything. i imagine it as the monty python’s plague victim, mr. “i feel haaapppyyyy!!!”

    i hope you are soon feeling better for real. xo

  • minichessemouse

    *hug* pain is not fun, have done the whole forgetting to take painkillers thing a few times, it is unpleasant.

  • Wombattwo


    Hoping you are feeling better today.

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