Oh my Lord the Diclofenac per exit actually works. It works! It actually, actually, really works.
The Mefenamic acid (GPs drug of choice for treating moderate to severe dysmenorrhea, which has been pushed at me for years as the OneTrue Grail I am seeking) a) gives me heartburn, b) makes me feel sicker than a dog caught eating something questionable, and c) can’t actually ease any discomfort in uncomfortable organs from its usual situation of regurgitated-in-bucket-by-bedside.
To be fair, The Waxy Bullets of Indignity are not 100% delightful. Having inserted one, one must lie down and think stern thoughts about retentiveness for a good twenty minutes, and then one must on no account fart for the rest of the hour. And even then, one must retire to the bathroom for any subsequent moments of *cough* pressure relief in the lower bowel, as the melted bullet of indignity is now quite quite liquid. All the clenching can be quite uncomfortable. Also, after several doses, one’s back passage becomes a tad sore. NSAIDS are rather rough on the old mucous membranes, whichever end you shove them.
On the worst days, the bullets of indignity did not relieve all the pain. If I took only them, I was still in considerable misery. But (oh glorious but*), they did take away the cramps and spasms that run into my back and down my legs and up to my ribs, and they did take away the strong and constant desire to vomit, so I could also take the cocodamol without ‘wasting’ it. And then, with both drugs in my system, I felt a lot better, if high as a freakin’ kite, and I ate a little, and sat up, and watched DVDs and even giggled feebly at them.
You have no idea how happy this is making H.
I think I could’ve even gone back to work today (ie, only two days off, w00t). The diclofenac is keeping me pretty comfortable. However when I woke up this morning I was practically eau-de-nil about the face and felt very dizzy and bleargh. I did spend yesterday bleeding merrily away like a ghoulish version of Bellagio. So I called in sick again. Bite me.
Next time, I shan’t bother with the stupid Mefenamic acid at all. And next time, I shall be back at work with a sunshine face on within 24 hours. (Universe? You back off and let this be so, OK? OK).
*(Yes, I know. I punned. I’m so funny).