The time is out of joint

Item – Secret Squirrelling is so stressful I am having bad dreams about it, and then having trouble getting back to sleep. Arse arse arse arse arse.

Item – The resulting socking great gaps in my sleep schedule are screwing with my morning basal body temperature. According to the digital thermometer, I ovulated on Thursday (day 16. Yes, I know, that can’t be right). According to everything else, I haven’t yet but am on schedule to pop any minute now. Any minute. Wait for it… just a few more seconds… yes… oh, alright, talk amongst yourselves, I may be some time.

Item – Both H and I have picked up some sort of very low grade persistant tummy bug, so while neither of us are incapacitated or trapped in the bog for hours on end, we’re both feeling a tad uncomfortable and troublous in the lower abdomen (in my case, it seems to be aggravating/being aggravated by the aches and pains of Cute Ute, who is in pissy hysterics for at least an hour or so each day, horrible little organ that she is). The main problem with this, eh, problem is that it Interferes with regular and enthusiastic Marital Duties (ie neither of us wants to at all just right now), which in turn makes me antsy and irritable and makes H hide in the study.

Item – I think this cycle will be a bust.

Item – I also think that Satsuma is waiting to time it so that my wedding anniversary will be ruined, because I will be menstruating, in full-on can’t-stand-must-puke mode, in which state one is unlikely to enjoy being taken to a fancy restaurant and/or to a concert.

Item – I hate my guts.


6 responses to “The time is out of joint

  • Womb For Improvement

    Can’t you have a stash of ovulation tests just for moments like this?

    I would like to concur that I hate your guts, but that sounds mean. I do, of course, mean I hate what your guts does to you.

  • twangy

    Me too, that is, also disapprove of what your guts are doing to you, and their poor sense of timing. Wish they wouldn’t.

  • Betty M

    I’d have your guts for garters if that would get them into line.

  • katyboo1

    Damn and blast it all, Betty M said it first. I was so pleased with that line as well.


    All my love and sympathy. I am definitely thinking of having my uterus removed, banished to the outer circles of hades and having a water feature with disco lights put in instead. I might breed fish in it to make myself feel useful.

    What do you think?xx

  • a

    Your guts are particularly unpleasant, and no one’s even made me look at them! (Don’t get any ideas)

    Still theorizing about the Secret Squirrel assignment…I would make an excellent conspiracy theorist if I actually believed in anything. šŸ™‚

  • Hairy Farmer Family

    Outdone x 2 on the guts for garters phrase, damnit.

    So sorry Secret Squirrelling is turning out rather more stressful than expected. I wasn’t anticipating that it would; poor May. I do hope Cute Ute’s pissyness has subsided with a satisfactory Pop by now, as has the Troublous Tummy – well, subsided with a satisfactory lack of gurgling, anyhow. Queuing for the toilet is a sad way to spend a day.

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