There’s a point to all this, right?

The visit to the Hospital Out In The Country’s Radiology department for my scan was a complete, utter, absolute non-event. I turned up on time, the (very nice) wand-monkey called me only a few minutes later, she was polite, she was very gentle, it was possibly the mellowest and most relaxed I’ve ever been while a complete stranger dug a phallic object into the side of my uterus and instructed me to push down from outside to pop Satsuma out from her den so she could be photographed from her best side.

I let the very nice wand-monkey know that Satsuma was an only ovary, but she looked over at Kumquat anyway and couldn’t see any trace of her (does the damn thing exist or doesn’t it? It’s like the Brigadoon of residual ovarian tissue). She noted that I seemed to have a few fibroids. I asked if she was actually looking at the adenomyosis patch in the front wall of my uterus. She said mm-hmm, which was non-commital of her. She then spend about a week and a half examining Satsuma from every conceivable angle (wait, is that a joke? No? Well, excuse me). It wasn’t particularly uncomfortable – clearly both Satsuma and Cute Ute were feeling mellow too – but good Lord it was thorough. Unnervingly so.

Perhaps you’ll remember that the purpose of the scan was to look for piranhas (or cysts, or teratomas). Naturally I asked her if she could see any. She smiled sweetly and said she’d put it all in her report for Miss Consultant (I am seeing Miss Consultant again at the beginning of February).

Oh, well.

And then I went home again.

Next steps. 1 – If, as I strongly suspect, I ovulated on the evening of the 1st of January (start as you mean to go on, eh, Satsuma?), I can do my day 3 bloodwork at last on or about the 14th of January (which is a Friday. And it will be day 2, not 3, but NHS phlebotomy clinics are NOT open at weekends, and Miss Consultant assured me I could do the bloodwork on day 2, 3 OR 4 without screwing up the results. If my luteal phase is longer this time (hah) I can go in on the Monday. My job loves me, oh it so does). 2 – H is going to take in a sperm sample this week. We did wonder if there was much point to this, what with H’s habit of getting me knocked up with dreary regularity, but hey, all bases, we shall cover them.

So. We’re still in Limbo, but it’s a Limbo with a time-stamp, and we’re doing findy-outy things. Good. Yes. Onwards.


18 responses to “There’s a point to all this, right?

  • Betty M

    Good, yes and onwards sound good to me.

  • a

    Ooh – there’s nothing better than findy-outy things! I hope you actually find out something, though, as there’s nothing worse than doing findy-outy things only to find nothing out.


  • Laurel

    I can’t decide whether I admire the wand-monkey for doing what is probably the right thing (putting it all in a written form, such that it’s clear and detailed) or am irritated at her for not telling you *something*.

    Oh well. I agree, findy-outy is good, and I do hope you find-out something of interest.

  • Hairy Farmer Family

    I tend to rage & gnash my teeth when I am fobbed off by ‘reports’ – lady, you have just plunged your – ahem – wand into ME, now spill the goddamn info before I return the favour from a different angle! Report, indeed. Harrumph.

    Radiologists all see visions, I have decided. When being consented for Lap by VIP consultant, I reiterated what Cons Radiologist had written in his report (exactly what he told me to my face, which was nice): that there seemd to be non-typical adenomyosis and a synechia-thingy stretching across my right ute. VIP Consultant smiled gently, and commented that ‘well, Dr X often sees a lot of things that aren’t there…’ I was torn between wanting to defend Dr X, who is a Character (and first diagnosed my didelphys when I was 24) and doleful acknowledgement of his words. They all peer at their screens like they are trying to penetrate the mist of a crystal ball – or, leastways, they all do with me – and consensus between them is Not To Be Had.

    Of course, it might just mean that Aretaeus of Cappadocia was right after all, and the buggers DO move.

    Hooray for Findy-Outy. Findy-outy good.

  • manapan

    Yay for findy-outy things! I hope you get to find out sooner rather than later.

  • carole

    Hate it when they won’t tell you anything! She wouldn’t even tell you if Satsuma showed evidence of having popped recently? Because they can tell, using those dark arts of theirs. Roll on early February with results aplenty, anyway!

  • twangy

    Well done on findy-out mission – fingers crossed as ever.

    (It does feel like a week and a half doesn’t it? At least! Especially with the water torture ones. Arg, ARG).

  • Melissia

    Oh, see, here in the states we can do the evil thing of getting our reports by going to medical records and signing a consent. I am sitting in the doctor’s office now as he needs to tell me about some lab results, his office called onTuesday. I had to know, I would not have slept, so I ran over to the hospital and now I am prepared. How I wish you had that option.

  • Womb For Improvement

    Why didn’t she tell you what she could see?! God that is infuriating.n But nice that she was thorough.

  • Womb For Improvement

    Why didn’t she tell you what she could see?! God that is infuriating. But nice that she was thorough.

  • Womb For Improvement

    Umm… I like to post my comments a couple of times. Just to let them really sink in. How do you delete one?

    • May

      I was going to delete one for you, but this way I look more popular…

    • Amy P

      I don’t think we can (I’m sure May can). Thus my strings of blank posts followed by corrected posts, because I forget and use symbols that work just fine another internet place May and I share.

  • Korechronicles

    The uterus “…is altogether erratic”. Thanks Aretaeus for telling me something I didn’t already know. And to HFF for the obscure reference. Loved it!

    Findy-outy is a good thing. So why are radiologists so averse to telling you exactly what they’ve found out? Wishing you luck that the findy-outy actually,…you know…finds out.

  • Melissia

    I also wanted to add that I also am all for finding out thingies and am cheering for you that this is your year.

  • Aphra

    This only turned up in my RSS feed today, so it’s not just uteruses that go off for a wander.

    You should hear Dr Z on the subject of radiologists and radiogrphers.


  • Normal normal normal f*ck it. « Nuts in May

    […] then we discussed my scan from the beginning of January. Satsuma is slightly enlarged, but that’s normal for both PCOS and for being a Single Ovary, […]

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