Stealth bomber

So, as my Gentle Readers will know, this cycle has gone all anovulatory on my arse [pause for wailing and gnashing of teeth here].

It’s day, hang on, let me check, 42. 42, people. An I were normal, my period would be late.

Anyway, I was wending on my anovulatory way, beginning to plan Mission Provera, or, The Assault On NHS Bureaucracy Reloaded, when I noticed I was spotting just a tad. Hmm, I thought. It’s only a tiny trace of (old, brown) spotting. I shall ignore it. The next day, yesterday, there was a little more, and my temperature, which had been meandering about indecisively along the ‘line’ I normally draw between pre-ovulatory and luteal, suddenly dropped. Harrumph, I said, I’ve been here before, and am not in the mood to play games with Bitch Hope. I shall ignore this too.

Today, my lower right abdomen started hurting like the bloody blue blazes. And I thought, oh, could I be ovulating at last? Or is this more mind-fuckery?

And I went to work. Owie. Ow. Work work work, tra-la-la, ow buggerit.

Until I went to the loo just before lunch.

Bright, bright red blood on the toilet paper. I’m bleeding.

I panicked. This is why I panicked. I sat in the loo for nearly fifteen minutes, coaching myself in steady breathing, in-two-three-four, hold-two-three-four, out-two-three-four, hold-two-three-four, look at the paper again, oh God the blood’s still there, breathe, breathe.

And then I went back to work and dealt with every single moron in higher education in Britain (in-two-three-four, out-two-three-four), and by mid-afternoon I felt as if my skull would implode under the sheer pressure of the muscle-tension in my jaw. So I left early.

H was at home in his PJs, as he had also had a bad headache, only his had lasted all day, and I think he’s a little feverish. Poor H. I really, really improved matters by announcing my ovary-ish area really hurt and I was bleeding and once my latest cup of tea had percolated through, I was going to pee on something. H looked baffled – ‘but I thought you’d run out of OPKs?’ he said, following me bewildered from room to room as I strode to and fro like a tiger at the circus. I explained that the whole thing reminded me horribly of Zombryo and even though it was far, far, far, far more likely to be a) a very lively ovulation from Miss Satsuma, showing off, or b) a cyst, I had to be sure.

So I peed on a stick.

Dear Readers, there’s a… something. It is certain be an evaporation line, it’s so very very faint. But H thinks he can see it too. And it hasn’t vanished. It’s over an hour later and the stupid thing hasn’t vanished. BUT, it’s so faint it doesn’t really seem to have any pink dye in it all.

And remember, my temperatures never went up properly (I’ve been tracking them remorselessly since the beginning of the cycle. Zombryo crept up on me because it was Christmas and I couldn’t be bothered to chart and I ovulated spectacularly early). Now, of course, they’ve gone down. I’ve had EWCM for weeks. A sneaky ovulation 9 or 10 days ago? Extremely, extremely unlikely. But I took a low-dose aspirin anyway.

I’ve probably just ovulated, haven’t I? That’s what today’s all about, yes? I’m getting my knickers in a knot over nothing, aren’t I? Aren’t I? We’ll all be laughing at this – ha ha so embarrassing – next week.

Oh God, the drama.

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16 responses to “Stealth bomber

  • twangy

    Oh my dear. The gob, it is smacked.

    An evaporation line? A… something? Something potentially wonderful?
    Hard to know what to think. But here, with solidarity, in any case.
    Hugs.

  • bionicbrooklynite

    i…i…i don’t know what to think. but i am here, thinking and not thinking it all with you.

    what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to conceive. and then it just gets more tangled, don’t it?

  • Womb For Improvement

    Huh? What is up with your innards? Have you found an OPK?

  • BigP's Heather

    So what are we going to do? I need a PLAN. A course of action. Are we getting to a DR? Another test? Should I be excited or scared? I don’t know what to do!

  • QoB

    I agree with Heather. A Plan! What am I crossing my fingers for?? (apart from your good health, of course, being Numero Uno).

    unrelated but kudos for use of ‘an’ AND ‘buggrit’ in one post.

  • Amy P

    The RSS feed is running late. Makes our chat a bit surreal…

    So there’s 3 of us wondering about same thing, with wildly different thoughts (though mine are just up-in-the-air).

    Eep.

    (And I don’t care if May and I are the only ones that have a clue what I mean :-P)

  • a

    All I was thinking was “Get thee to the aspirin bottle, just in case.” So, PHEW! Not sure what to think, but I’m hoping it’s something good – either Satsuma finally being released from HFF’s detention block or perhaps something better. Either way, I think you should probably “celebrate” something with H. šŸ˜‰

  • The Sheila

    Time for an emergency Dr Tashless appt for a beta test in the morning?

  • wombattwo

    Um… don’t really know what to say…
    Pee on a stick again first thing?
    If it is something, I hope it’s a good something… x

  • MFA Mama

    Uh…I mean…that is…what the…

    I hope you’re okay.

  • Rachel

    Inhale. Your body sure does like to keep you on your toes. Hoping that tomorrow brings some clarity, and just maybe good news.

  • Solnushka

    That bloody satsuma. What is she playing at? *Hugs* and fingers crossed that whatever is going on it’s not a repeat of Christmas.

  • carole

    OK, how long did it take the “something” to come up? Within a couple of minutes? If it took longer, I have to say I’d expect it to be a thrice-cursed evaporation line. The number of those buggers I saw over the years…..Also I was once told by the doc that the presence of blood in the area can sometimes lead to a bit of staining on the test which can look like it’s something.

    But if the bleeding stops, stays minor or is just generally different to normal, then do indeed get thee to an apothecary and demand a blood test. Faint tests, strange bleeding and stabbing pains in the side are not symptoms to mess about with – take it from one who’s been there and done that. Do NOT be fobbed off with tales of UTIs (been there and done that too)

  • katie

    Look, there’s a space, I’ll be watching it like a hawk…

  • Erica Douglas

    Oh, honey. I am so sorry that this is so stressful and painful for you.

  • I must keep track « Nuts in May

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