On topics

I understand that you want to hear more from me, dear readers of May. I’m flattered and hope I can meet your high expectations and the standards that are usually found at this establishment.

Firstly, just to clarify – some of you are aware I did start another blog, that now stands idle. The purpose of that was mainly to provide somewhere I could point concerned colleagues and friends, who realised something was going on but were too polite to ask (or I was too embarrassed to tell them to their face). It was never anonymous, like this one, so I couldn’t link back here and was slightly constrained in what I could say. It served its purpose and may be revived at some point in the future; May’s generous offer to post here is more attractive at the moment as it allows for a dialogue, link between posts and some anonymity.

Now I guess that you’ve had enough of me twittering on about names; I am, however, slightly at a loss as to what you might want to hear from me next. Apparently the ‘male perspective’ is a rare thing in IF land. Now I’m not as emotionally intelligent or naturally empathic as May and I certainly lack her extensive wordsmithery skills and experience, but I’m up for giving it a go; hopefully it may even help me discover my thoughts and feelings too.

So, topic suggestions very welcome, nay begged for. The more the merrier and I’ll work my way through them.


20 responses to “On topics

  • Heather

    Obviously we need to hear about the “behaviour” – not WANT to, need to.

    • H

      Hmm, I may have to address it at some point, but not sure I feel comfortable going into details of our sex life…

      • H

        To clarify, it’s fine that May has talked about it – she always checks and gets me to preview if posts go into personal details of me or my family. Just not sure how comfortable I would feel writing about that stuff personally.

  • a

    Seconding Heather…

    Also, though, I’m curious to know if you process the medical information differently. It seems like most of the women I “know” (i.e. on the internet) hear the doctor and think “I hope this works, but I’m going to reserve judgement until I see results in the form of a living, breathing baby” whereas the male reaction seems to be “Aha! Problem -> Solution -> Success!”

  • wombattwo

    I am also curious to know what “the behaviour” is… Otherwise, to be honest any info you can give from the male perspective is interesting.

  • twangy

    To be honest, I am a bit curious about May’s comment that you were raised by bears or hippies, no one knows which – but that seems cheeky so I will have to think of a more worthy topic.

    Hmmmm. Might have to get back to you on this one.

    • H

      Yes, I’ll do some background stuff – it keeps cropping up to explain my attitudes and behaviours (not ‘that’ behaviour, necessarily) for some reason that I can barely comprehend…

  • Betty M

    I’m interested to hear whether you feel any irrational biological imperative to have kids. My desire to have kids appeared out of nowhere – babies were never my favourite things – and it definitely didn’t feel terribly rational to me.

    • Betty M

      And the behaviour too, obviously!

    • H

      Oh, I have always got on well with children and animals – although usually very glad to have a parent to give them back to when they get too filthy/tired/over-excited/whiney 🙂 Not sure about biological imperative – possibly more of a logical bio-imperative?

  • May

    So, that’s four requests for ‘The Behaviour’. So far.


  • Womb For Improvement

    Something I have been trying to persuade the husband to write about for a while is sort of along the lines of Betty’s request. It is about your reaction to a negative pregnancy test or miscarriage or bad test result.

    I might need to clarify. With us, the husband is very much in comforting mode when I get bad news. It is me who is allowed to feel grief and weep. He seems more upset by the fact I am upset rather than that this marks another dead end in our route to having children. I don’t think for that he has really got his head around the idea of actually having a child, so it all seems a bit more academic to him. And although he is bound to me he doesn’t feel the tick of the biological clock in the same way I do.

    When I get bad news it takes me a while to remember that this is his lack of future progeny as well and maybe I should ask him how he is. Invariably his response is, “don’t worry about me” or similar.

    Does what I am asking you make sense?

  • Amy P

    The Behaviour. Heck, I even added the extra U 😛

    Also what Womb For Improvement said.

  • Doldrums « Nuts in May

    […] the rest of my life,The innards,There is a husband — May @ 9:34 pm Item – Oh, go on, tell H what you want to hear from him. Or email, if you’re shy (email address is hidden at the bottom of my About page). […]

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