Item – I think, I think, Satsuma put out on Friday. We’d even had some of that sex my fertility doctors have been going on and on and on about.
Item – So that’s OK then.
Item – *Counts days repeatedly on fingers, glares at calendar*
Item – H and I were going to go on holiday for the first couple of weeks in September. H is now too nervous to book anything in case something happens. Hell, so am I. We were planning on visiting my Dad and listening to him rant on about immigrants and/or the Sixties for hours on end while being kippered to buggery by his incessant bloody smoking, the wood-stove, and the odour of wet dog. We were planning to stay in a nice hotel afterwards to recuperate. We were planning on lots of hiking and possibly some ferries and general remoteness. If (it’s a big if, so IF (did anyone mention a one in six chance per cycle? I’m sure I read that somewhere (mind you, me, hah hah, since I stopped arsing about with Clomid last summer I’ve been impregnanted four times in ten cycles, so how d’ya like them eggrolls?)) – where was I? Oh yes. IF I am in a delicate condition, I will need to be attending The Professor’s clinic sharpish, for more goddamn buggeration blood-tests and so on. Being 450 miles away will be… unhelpful. Not to mention the whole ‘what the hell do we do if it all starts going tits-up?’ enfrettlement, half-way up a moor in a fog out of phone range like-as-not, surrounded by wet sheep and bracken. And stoats.
Item – I am inclined to say the hell with it and book hotels anyway, because if I spend the first couple of days of September being disappointed, miserable, and stoned, as I probably will, I will certainly need some crisp white sheets and room service to get over it.
Item – Chickens, unhatched, countie countie.
Item – Samantha Cameron gave birth today, a few weeks early. It was the Big Sole Topic of Conversation in the office all afternoon. Which cheered me up no end, as you can all imagine. On the whole, though, I am grateful to Mrs Cameron for having (safely) got the whole thing out of the way now. I think watching the media go into a feeding-frenzy the same week Zombryo was supposed to be due would have done fucking wonders for my temper.