Item – I’ve just finished commenting on all the comments on the Great Long Ranty Post, and I have cried over each one (in a good way! A good way!). Did I mention I love you guys? Yes? Oh. And if any more comments turn up, I will comment on them too. It’s going Epic, ohh yes.

Item – Period started, as expected, in the night. Sheets spared. Cramps, as ever, horrible. Really too hot to clamp a hot water bottle to the small of my back, but I am lying here in a muck sweat giving myself heatstroke anyway, because the cramps in my back and/or thighs make me feel sick otherwise. Hurray! Sucks to be me!

Item – The mefenamic acid is working a bit better this time, because I started taking it yesterday, at the first, faintest hint of a cramp. Also, the completely random GP I saw last Wednesday moved me from cocodamol to tramadol (upgrade!), so now I have 100 tiny scary capsules of heavy-duty ‘we normally give this to cancer patients’ medication to play with. Bloody hell. The first dose took over an hour to kick in, but seems to make me feel less stoned and woozy than cocodamol. But I’m only taking 50mg at a time, as per random GP’s instructions. The box says I can take 100mg at a time, so if I feel hard-done-by or can’t sleep, I shall feel free to knock myself out. Ha ha. I punned.

Item – Period brought with it a major disturbance of the lower bowel (ohh, fabulous. Prostaglandins, so… targeted in their smooth muscle onslaught. I’m surprised I can still breathe in), which is a magnificent way to lose a couple more pounds before meeting The Professor tomorrow and impressing her with my shrinkage (and sweaty incoherence). Because, Gentle Readers, I have now lost 9 pounds since I started the Forced March Shrinkathon, ie all the miscarriage bender misery weight, and am back to the size I was just when I was last starting to feel smug about mastering this weight-loss thingy (size 16, British, 12 to 14 American). I don’t really look thinner to myself, and feel rather bloaty and ick most days, so was quite surprised to find I can fit into trousers that were too tight to do up back in June. Indeed, having put said trousers on and admired the effect, I went to find H, said ‘look at this!’, and pulled them off without undoing the button or zip first. And then I had to find a belt, because we were going out and H was now watching me with a predatory gleam in his eye.

Item – The weight loss has slowed down from the six-pounds-in-one-week initial onslaught, to about two pounds a week (don’t fret the math. I put on a few pounds after the first week (because I saw cake, and I saw booze, and I have no control, and it was WORTH IT) and had to whittle them off again too), which is healthier and sensible and is what the book said would happen. This is good, right? We can keep this up for another few months, can’t we? Yes we can. Pass the macadamias. What? They’re low-carb.

Item – I am scared of what The Professor may have to tell us about all my blood-test results. I’m almost hoping it’s a clotting issue because that’s treatable. What if it’s not treatable?

Item – Must go and lie back down. Sorry.


12 responses to “Bullets

  • Heather

    I’m sorry about the period and horrible cramps. YAY DRUGS!!

    Congratulations on the weight loss. I am trying to get motivated to start a diet…I hate diets.

  • a

    Congratulations on the weight loss! And new drugs and proactive treatment!

    I hope the visit with The Professor brings you some answers and a treatment plan.

  • Twangy

    Well DONE. 9 pounds – that is healthy, and excellent. I find diets such a headwreck, I get obsessed and confused and stop being hungry, except for occasional mad pangs of hunger, it’s horrible. So well done, really. Tis a fecking emotional minefield, food. Prof will swoon with admiration!

    New drug regime sounds more effective too. Hooray for medical science! Good luck for blood results. Something that could be easily identified and cured would be the thing.. So fingers crossed for that.

  • Secret D

    Things are sounding upbeat. You’ve lost some weight, you’ve got pain killers that work and you are heading back to the doctor. I really hope that things continue and that your blood results are all good.

  • Amy P

    Yay for trousers that need belts or will fall off with keys in the pockets! And for predatory gleams. Those are fun to get, in the right circumstances…

    Assuming the size conversion is right, sounds like we’re about the same size 😎 I need to go to the thrift store tomorrow–the one with half-price clothes on Tuesdays. I don’t want to buy clothes when I’m trying to lose 3 stone or so (OK, I’ve been hanging out online with Brits far too long ;-)) but of the trousers that fit, one pair has an unfixable and visible hole in the rear, another pair just got red acrylic paint on them, another pair has had paint on for a long time, and this pair has a tomato soup stain–Grace likes tomato soup, but ends up wearing it and I have yet to figure out a way to carry her to the tub without touching her.

  • Bryony

    hi! so pleased you now have drugs that work! I have just had 6 weeks on tramadol for nerve pain after an op to fix my achilles tendon (have buggered both in the last 9 months – not funny….) and it is excellent – just a word of advice, do not drink prosseco with it – I did and slept for 12 hours straight!! Should you want/be able to do this, that’s fine – just be warned!! I also found my speech slurred about an hour after taking it so do not attempt any deep arguments with anyone unless you have prepared flashcards in advance! take care x

  • Illanare

    Hope all goes well with The Professor.

  • QoB

    Thank you for the hugs.

    Fingers crossed for the next Professor meeting.

  • Melissia

    You were so sweet to reply to my comment. I didn’t think that I made clear to you what a great and funny writer that I think that you are and how I hope so much that this journey that you and H are are on ends with the two of you having a baby. I know that no one actually “deserves” a baby, but it seems to me that if anybody does, the two of you do, perhaps that is why we read, because if we could wish someone parents it would be the two of you.
    My fingers are also crossed that you get some answers at this meeting.

  • manapan

    Nine pounds?! You are a rockstar! And tramadol? I officially love the stuff. My husband has a prescription for it, so I decided to steal one yesterday when 1000 mg of ibuprofen wasn’t doing the trick. I hope it gives you the blissful sleep of the pain-free too!

  • Betty M

    Oh so that’s way a dicky tummy always accompanies my period.

    Great stats on the weight loss (which book is it?) and amazing stuff responding to all our comments.hope the Prof is equipped with answers.

  • Nina

    9lbs is huge!! I’m so happy for you! I read you every day, but I’m bad about commenting. Now, back to bashing the NHS. Seriously, tramadol is what they use for cancer pts? I feel sorry for THEM. Can’t you folks get the good stuff over there? Morphine, fentanyl, dilaudid? I mean, come on, tramadol is the stuff the junkies say they’re allergic to so they can get the aforementioned dope! They can do better, surely! But should you be prescribed any of the above, be sure H is with you to hold you upright in the event you need to travel anywhere on foot.

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