Inclusive

The oddest thing. Apparantly I’m a Mummy*-Blogger.

Well, that’s what I thought, too.

You see, back in April, some kind dear soul nominated me for the MAD (Mum & Dad) Blog Awards, which was all rather interesting and cool (if mildly discombobulating) (by the way, did you vote for HFF and Shannon? Because they BOTH got short-listed and I had to resort to Twisting My Husband’s Arm, also, Using The Work Computer, so we could vote for both of them. *cough* Probably shouldn’t’ve confessed to that). Where was I? Oh yes. I was nominated, and therefore, I think, I assume even, I ended up on the radar of the organizers, one of whom also organizes the Tots100 Index of UK Parent Blogs and Bloggers. And, every month, the amazing Sally (how the hell does she find the time?) combs through all the statistics and puts up a new ranking of the ‘top’ (see above link for explanations of how this is worked out) 100 blogs.

And this month, I was in there. At 90. I felt quite faint.

And I’d always felt that, you know, one day, if all the stars align in their courses to spell the words ‘May, you’re 5 months pregnant!’ across the night sky and H wins £1’000’000 on the Premium Bonds and Silvio Berlusconi announces he’s sending himself to jail and they discover a cure for Being A Dillweed At Work and I’m really amazingly fucking lucky and I do get a take-home baby, I’d look into this Mummy-Blogging lark. Mostly because I wouldn’t take my own family’s advice on child-rearing if it came with a bag of gold dubloons and two tickets to The Ukelele Orchestra of Great Britain, and *cough* even more mostly, because if I ever get this Baby, this Miracle, this Pearl Beyond Price, I am SO going to yak about it/him/her/them non-stop. Possibly. In a super-special-snowflake way, because I am one.

But it would seem I don’t have to wait at all. Even though the youngest living things in this abode are, actually, the moribund house-plants. Even though none of my pregnancies has made it out of the first trimester. Even though I get to lie on the bed drinking gin** and farting about online all weekend instead of actually, you know, nurturing anyone. Nevertheless People Out There think I am still, if not a parent, at least parent-flavoured. And worth keeping in the mix.

This is surprisingly nice.

But still discombobulating.

I think that anyone who ever had trouble getting or staying pregnant (even if they’re now avec miracle(s)) would ‘get’ some of the misery and bitterness I ‘occasionally’*** spew out all over the blog. But I have no idea at all how all this comes across to anyone who has never had any trouble getting or staying pregnant.

Seriously, if you’re reading this, and never had any trouble getting or staying pregnant, how does all this come across? Do you feel you can sympathise or even empathise, or does all this pain and effort seem alien and lunatic to you?

* I’m British, we spell it with a ‘u’. OK? OK.
** Disclaimer – not since the start of the Forced March Shrinkathon.
*** Read: ‘weekly’.
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9 responses to “Inclusive

  • May

    I’ve always felt like a bit of a non-member of this community since I “only” had 2 miscarriages and they were both in the first trimester and I get pregnant fairly easily and don’t really seem to encounter the life-threatening pregnancy complications until after 24 weeks, and I have 2 healthy kids. So, um, I guess I’m trying to say that we all have our issues, but I think of you as a mother, doing her best to build her family among crappy circumstances. And I applaud you and I hope hope hope hope your luck changes very soon. Moan all you want. I wish I could do something to help other than listen and nod my head. And wish PCOS wasn’t the bitch that she is.

  • Twangy

    Also a gin-swiller and online-farter, so I really approve of the inclusiveness too. That is GOOD. Yes. Experiences are hugely varied, and should be so honoured.

    Also am glad you intend to continue to blog when Things Work Out. I can’t wait. And if Berlusconi gives himself up/stars arrange themselves/ huge money is won, so much the better. The future is bright!

  • L.

    I am obnoxiously fertile, though I’ve had a teeny taste of the other side; my first pregnancy ended in an early miscarriage and, due to some miscommunications, I spent a while thinking that my mother had infertility issues and that I might too.

    I’ve been reading IF blogs since before that first pregnancy and they were in large part the motivator that kicked me into trying to have a baby in the first place; I realized that I might not be lucky and that I did not have endless time ahead of me. In a way that might have made my first miscarriage a little easier … maybe not. (In retrospect I totally think that miscarriage was my fault… not at all a nice feeling.)

    The pain and effort are to me very much a case of “there but for the grace of God.” It’s not that I read about IF and pity the poor infertiles. I don’t know if I could be said to empathize but I sympathize deeply. I happened to do well in the genetic lottery but it’s just that, a lottery. I try to always remember, even at very challenging times, how lucky I am to have children.

    Since I cannot help I try to listen, send out into the atmosphere my very best wishes and hopes, to learn, and to remember how many people suffer from infertility.

    So, your pain and effort make complete sense. I just wish they didn’t have to be.

  • womb for improvement

    Congratulations. I think that your story is one many other Mummy’s need to hear. Shortly before they bang on to their childless friends about how rewarding being a mother is and how they really shouldn’t put their careers first…

  • Hairy Farmer Wifey

    Much as I enjoy them, I would pass up reading ANY MORE ‘flamboyant filth’ stories about Silvio Berlusconi in order to have you 5 months pregnant. I wouldn’t even have a tiny peek.

    Fank you for your vote!

  • Valery

    Gosh, mummy blogger, very discombobulating. (love that word) I think I would scream, at the painful irony. I refuse to see myself as the mother of my seven week miscarriage, or of DP’s kids. To me you are a master of dark arts or something, capturing the dark in words, spewing it out here and making room for a speck of light at the end of the tunnel.
    hugs

  • Jane G

    Congrats on the recognition. “Parent flavoured”, I like the sound of that.

    And if there are any spare tickets floating around for the Ukulele Orchestra, can you send them this way? Their version of the theme from Shaft is one of my all time favourites!

  • Erica Douglas

    I’m an infertile who reads mommy-blogs. One of my absolute favorites is itsallaboutthehat.blogspot.com, about natural parenting, and a big part of the reason I read it is that it gives me hope. One day, that will be ME. One day, *I* will be pregnant. One day I will get to breastfeed my babies. It’s all about the hope.

    Another one I thoroughly enjoy is lunardreams.net/baby, about an infertile success story – she just had a baby in May after years of IVF struggles. This

    I read your blog avidly for the empathy – It helps me so much to know that others struggle with infertility, that I’m not alone.

    I also LOVE reading about the other parts of your life – about your camping trip, about your job, about your husband. Because infertility is a big part of my life, but it’s not the only part.

    And you are a mummy-blogger. Just because you don’t have kids *yet*, this blog is all about your journey to have those kids.

  • mrs spock

    I’m a fellow IF-er, so no clue. I’m curious too.

    Just reading the last few posts today- otherwise I would have commented earlier!

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