This is a Party Election Broadcast on behalf of the Peeved Party

Briefly, because I’m borrowing H’s computer and he’d kinda like it back at some point this week:

Item – My beloved laptop is making a noise like a coffee-grinder filled with gravel and becoming hot enough to roast whole sheep within minutes of switching it on. Um. It’s still under warranty (thankGodthankGodthankGod), but this may take a while. Or be terminal. Aigh. Dammit. I had comments I wanted to make and everything.

Item – Also, I wrenched my knee yesterday, so it spent 24 hours hurting like the bloody blue blazes and making me think I’d done something drastic. Today, however, it is going ‘I’m fine! No, really, I’m fine, you can walk on me and everything. Try it, go on. See? I’m a fully functional weight-bearing joint. Great, huh? No idea why I was making all that fuss yesterday. No idea at all. This walking lark is all just dandy OW OW OW OW I am broke… Why’ve you sat down on the pavement? I’m fine! Totally fine!’ Repeat ad nauseam.

Item – UK readers? GO AND VOTE. Don’t give me that ‘I don’t want to vote for any of them’ shtick. Nobody wants to vote for any of them (tell a lie, I want to vote for the Green Party, what with them being the closest to actual Socialists we’ve got left, also, tree-huggers (I use organic cotton face-cleansing pads. Just sayin’). Alas, in my area, voting for the Greens is a bit like farting into a Conservative/Labour hurricane). Nevertheless, tomorrow, down to the polls I shall go, and I shall jolly well vote for somebody-or-other, and thereby I shall not wee-wee ungraciously in the faces of all the women, or ethnic minorites, or religious minorities, planet-wide, that are utterly, unfairly, violently banned from voting in their own countries, and would quite like a go thank you. If you really can’t bear to vote for any party at all (and I can’t say I’d blame you), spoil your ballot paper instead. In 2007, the amount of spoilt ballot papers in the Scottish Elections became a matter of debate in Parliament, so, you know, the spoilt ones are actually counted and fretted over. You can write sweary-words on it if you like, or something funny to amuse the counters with.

Item – It’s OK, I’ve stopped lecturing and haranguing now. You are free to go.


9 responses to “This is a Party Election Broadcast on behalf of the Peeved Party

  • a

    Yay for voting! I hope you get someone useful in whatever offices need filling! (Although I shake my head at your socialist tendencies…don’t you know that people are too greedy for socialism to ever work?)

    Hope your knee and your laptop are both working soon…

  • Betty M

    I am going to vote in a minute although the husband has reported endless queues. I am in a LibDem/Labour marginal so my vote can make a difference. The current MP is Lib Dem – excellent on equality issues, depressingly not so on scientific issues – I had some v unsatisfactory correspondence on MMR with her. Again the options aren’t exactly left wing but I insist on exercising my franchise. As a public servant I also have a vested interest in trying to keep not only my job but also those of my team – we were being asked to reduce by 20% already – who knows what we will be asked to do if the ghastly Cameron/Osborne crew get in.

  • twangy

    Ooh sorry about the knee. Mine has been suddenly unsupportive (ha) like that once in a while (though not so ouchy) but it went away after a bit. I never did quite understand why it was being That Way. Stroppy thing.

    Also feeling your pain re laptop. Which is like an anatomy part itself, is it not? That could just be the fan, I think.. Not terminal, with a bit of luck.

    I am pink and green striped too! No surprise there! Our Green Party was great in theory, until it got into government, and while, yes, it was in an invidious position (coalition with the Other Lot, be afraid GB) it made some loud clangers, I tell you.

    Ah yes, but when the revolution comes, all this will be different. 😉

  • Korechronicles

    Sympathetic noises from Villa Kore re knee and computer issues. Ongoing pain from both sources more often than not.

    Yes, vote early and vote often, that’s my motto.

  • Secret D

    Love the title of this post!

    I’m off to vote although I am still not sure who I am going to vote for. I’ll decide on the walk to the polling station, sod all the campaigning, if a decision has to be made, walk on it!

    I did an online test and I was told that I was in the Green party field! If only it wasn’t a waste of a vote.

    I like the idea of spoiling the ballot paper but I’m too much of a chicken. I would be convinced that somebody would be able to trace it – BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU!

  • Ben Warsop

    Enormous sympathy about the laptop. There are few sounds more frightening than your data in distress.

    Interesting about the spoiled papers being debated in Scotland. I’ll take that link and use it in my next “vote-damn-you” rant. I’m intrigued to see if that will be in five years, or five months or five weeks… Very 1974. Even our politics has a retro feel to it. All we need now is a miners’ strike…


  • The Sheila

    I will vote for the party that gives tax relief for those of us who have to fund our own IVF treatment…..

  • womb for improvement

    I voted.

    Hell, I figure it is the only way i am ever going to se the inside of my local primary school.

  • everydaystrange

    I got citizen-fied two days too late to register to vote. Looks like I’ll be able to vote in the next election, anyway…the one being held within the next 6 months or so.

    And I too am a socialist, although I live in an area so blue one would think it’s got frostbite. I’d have voted yellow this time, but again – so blue here it wouldn’t have even turned a bit lime colored.

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