Dead Cat Bounce

Item – Oh, crikey, blogging. I knew I’d forgotten something.

Item – The anniversary weekend away was lovely, thank you. Really lovely.

  • The landlady of the B&B, who had already brought us tea and home-made cakes, rushed away to fetch a bottle of pink bubbly and a congratulatory card the second H let slip that, well, yes, actually, our 5th wedding anniversary was that very day.
  • H and I both like cathedrals. Going to see a cathedral is really truly our idea of a good time. So, H took me to visit a cathedral I’d never seen but had been going on and on (and on and on and on) about for pretty much as long as he’s known me.
  • Ely Cathedral is… extraordinary. I have yet to see a single photo that does it any kind of justice at all. And it really does float on the vast flat horizon like a ship.
  • We also scored two Marsh Harriers, a Heron, a Grasshopper Warbler and a possible Bearded Tit (no jokes, please). It seems I like Twitching, too. God, but I’m a sad, nerdy sort of person. I must order a cagoule and sew badges to it at once.

Item – It is with considerable annoyance that I must report that Satsuma has not been cooperating in the least. In fact, my basal body temperature chart has been pretty much describing the Sawtooth Range, my *cough* fertile signs have been coming and going and contradicting each other, I felt sick, I felt dizzy, I felt tetchy. I was so very hormonal and weird-feeling, in fact, that I even took a pregnancy test the other day (resoundingly, eye-achingly negative, (because you haven’t even ovulated yet, you moron)). It’s day 29 of this cycle. I had hoped we had put the days of hormonal dead cat bounce behind us. Apparantly not. Feck. Arse. And so on.

Item – H and I managed to blow all the cuddly weekend-in-luxury vibe by having a monumental row. About sex, of all things. We have great (or at least, acceptable) sex for weeks on end, and then suddenly neither of us can do a thing right and we tip into a disagreeable vortex of FAIL. I don’t think Satsuma’s shenanigans helped either. It’s hard to be rational and good-tempered about The Sex, It Fall Down when being persistently flustered about whether one has, or has not, or will, or will not, or will have been going to, miss ovulation entirely this cycle, what with The Sex, It Has Fallen Down And Can’t Get Up.

Item – It really, really doesn’t help that we both still seem to be scared half-witted by the very idea of getting pregnant again.

Item – So we’ve booked another appointment with the counsellor we found last year. During which, no doubt, we’ll both be far, far too embarrassed to talk about sex, and I will have to bring up miscarriages two-through-four and cry myself puce.

Item – Work is stupid and boring and very bloody there, gurning at me and demanding that I get up at 7am and actually, you know, care about how clean my hair is. Yes, yes, I know, I have no right to bitch about my job at all, as it is quiet (mostly) and low-stress (mostly) and my employers have been angelic about my endless sick days. On the other hand, I am underemployed and frustrated and my brain is turning to lettuce and I get paid less than half what H gets paid despite having two (2!) whole degrees more than him. But hey! There’s a recession on and everything! Shutting up about the job now!

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14 responses to “Dead Cat Bounce

  • Valery

    you’re back!
    So sorry about the row and being terrified.
    And of course you’re welcome to moan about jobs, makes me remember it’s not just glory and sunshine, despite recession.

    Another terrifying idea: just send this blog post ahead to said counsellor? So (s)he can bring it up?
    OK, I’ll shut up now and admire you for having sex for weeks on end.

  • Hairy Farmer Family

    What Valery said!

    And…and… NO jokes about bearded tits? At ALL?
    *explosive sigh of stymied discontent*

    Probably couldn’t think of a good one anyway.

    I had forgotten Dead Cat Bounce. Must work it into my conversation more!

    • May

      – Considering the fact that I recently had a humungous great roaring row with H, and considering the fact that H has a beard… Best not (for the moment, at least) –

  • QoB

    There is also a musical-comedy group called Dead Cat Bounce – Flight-of-the-Conchords-esque http://deadcatbounce.ie/

    I’m glad you’re back! and yes, good on both of you for making a counselling appointment. very pro-active and responsible and all that jazz.

  • Korechronicles

    I’m also fighting inner demon who is screaming to make Bearded Tit joke. But I will be grown up, and refrain.

    Yes to the counsellor and all that. But entirely understand that you might not mention the *whispers furtively*…you know…umm..the sex.

    Good luck with it, dear May and H.

  • a

    Glad you had a mostly wonderful anniversary weekend, in spite of the lack of bearded tit jokes…

    I agree with Valery. Print this out and give it to the counsellor. Although, intense fear of reproduction will likely through a wrench in the works when it comes to the actual act, so probably not a huge amount of analysis needed there… Hope the cousellor helps.

  • geohde

    Ack, May.

    May I offer you a lot of virtual tea?

    xx

    g

  • everydaystrange

    Oh my god. You’re into twitching now. I’m sending intervention, pronto.

  • womb for improvement

    I keep meaning to go to Ely Cathedral just haven’t quite made it yet. Now more determined.

    Hopefully the counsellor will be so profoundly professional she’ll get to the bottom (snort) of the reason for your visit in a non-embarrassing way.

  • Secret D

    Good to have you back, I was beginning to have withdrawal symptons!

  • Betty M

    Sorry the weekend had bad bits as well as good. Glad to have you back around.

  • MsPrufrock

    I love how you don’t blog for 8 days, and suddenly you perceive yourself to have vanished from blogging. Teach me!

    We have a collection of various tits outside our windows at work, and as I work with a major twitcher, I have to make sure not to make crude comments. I will say nothing specific, just the allusion to tit rudeness.

    Belatedly – happy, happy anniversary!

  • Hairy Farmer Family

    *knocks on the door*
    Everyone alright in there?

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