About a month ago Miss Consultant sent me off to book an ultrasound so we could, for once and for all, see what the aitch-ee-double-hockey-sticks Cute Ute was up to in the Mystery Growth(s) Which Appear And Multiply And Vanish department.
And today I had that ultrasound.
It’s nearly midnight, far too late to concentrate on editing and continuity. Bullet-points, therefore:
- Ultrasound was held at the Hospital Out In The Country, so I had to leave work nearly an hour-and-a-half beforehand so I could get there on time. Work is being angelic about all this medical shit. Still, I feel beetle-ish.
- Ultrasound was performed by very sensible intelligent woman who treated me like a sensible intelligent woman, even when she had my bare knee comfortably tucked into her armpit so she could get a better angle with the probe.
- I remembered to mention the Absence of Most of Kumquat before she went hunting. Go me.
- I know I normally feel disgruntled after transvaginal ultrasound because the technician du jour has used enough lube to do every brothel in Nevada and I have to go home feeling revoltingly slick, but I shall never do so again. Too little lube is rather worse. And how is one supposed to mention to one’s ultrasound technician that more lube is required anyway? I don’t think Emily Post ever covered the subject.
- I am stalling. Let me get to the point.
- The technician, who is a proper gynaecology ultrasound technician rather than an obstetrics one, is very sure that I do not have fibroids. Fibroids, you see, have clearly demarcated boundaries and are a solid, distinct mass.
- Whereas I have a diffuse area of vascularity in the anterior wall of the uterus, with dark streaks and many small cysts. She also said something about vascular calcification, but I can’t remember if she said I did have it, or did not have it.
- Yes, it’s adenomyosis (Ann, you were absolutely right all along. You are officially Cleverer Than My Doctor, or, It Takes One (adenomyosis sufferer) To Know One). Which explains a hell of a lot with reference to periods that feel like my uterus is being ever-so-slowly torn apart. It feels like that because, whoops, it is being ever-so-slowly torn apart.
- As it is not a submucosal fibroid, it is probably not The Cause of all the miscarriages. Probably.
- It’s a royal fucker that it’s incurable, though.