Je suis distrait

Item – Many apologies for being such a lamentably poor commentator at the moment. Is bad. I knows. And now you’ll all be telling me I have every reason to be underinvolved in the social niceties at the moment and it’s no biggie, and I will feel relieved for approximately seventeen seconds before the bad recrudesces, because pointless self-flagellation is one of my favourite pastimes.

Item – I had to ask my boss for the morning off work tomorrow (for my Seventh Beta of Hell). She said yes on the instant. Not only that, but I was late today, and instead of skinning me alive with her laser glare of disapproval, she told me on no account to stay on after hours to make up the time, and to make sure I got a proper tea-break before lunch. Um. Who are you and what have you done with my boss?

Item – The fact that Madame Persnicketty the Perfectionist Boss (disclaimer: I actually like the woman. And I too am persnicketty. Just ask H about the washing-saucepan-handles saga) is being so gentle with me is being noticed. I came back into the office with the afore-mentioned cup of tea to catch the tail-end of a ‘well, what’s up with May?’ remark from That Colleague Who Always Knows Everyone’s Business. So, that was awkward. (I pretended to be deaf).

Item – The subject of Chinese New Year floated up. ‘It’ll be the Year of the Tiger!’ someone announced, ‘It’s lucky to be born in the Year of the Tiger, so I know lots of couples who are planning on having kids before next Christmas!’ and the rest of the room chorused ‘awwww, bless!’. This minutes before I had to go and Deal With the Public for a couple of hours, so I pretended to be profoundly deaf and clenched my teeth very hard I will not I will not think of my due dates I will not.

Item – My due dates would have been 3rd of July, 2010, and 14th of September, 2010.

Item – I don’t really want to have another blood test. Not that I mind the trekking about, or being stuck with needles (wait, OK, maybe I do mind that a teeny weeny bit. But only a teeny weeny bit). It’s the wait between leaving the clinic and someone getting around to phoning me back. I will be at work during that wait. I will be half-insane with anxiety. If on Thursday the newspapers are full of a story about a librarian who rammed a date-stamp down someone’s throat and validated their bottom, well, oops, you’ll all know my real name.

Item – Speaking of half-insane with anxiety, I am not sleeping at the moment.

Item – Speaking of not sleeping at the moment, I wish H would either snore, so I could banish him to the spare room, or not snore, so I wouldn’t have to. Making sudden, entirely random thunderous snorting noises every two hours or so is not playing fair in the least.

Item – H played more Chase-The-Consultant-By-Telephone today, and entirely failed to talk to any human beings at all. He couldn’t even leave a message, because certain secretarial persons were clearly sneaking away from their desks without switching the answer-phone on. The Power of the Testosterone Voice only works if someone gets to hear it. Grrrr.

Item – I don’t want to go to bed because lying awake in the dark waiting for H to go *SNNORRRK* is very boring and dreary.