Other flavours of loss

It has been pointed out to me that while exploding-tube-watch continues, I really should say hello every day. Someone very sweetly called me to make sure I wasn’t, you know, actually dead or similar, as she hadn’t seen peep nor twistle out of me on any of the sites we both frequent. And now even my lurkers are beginning to worry.

Sorry! Am fine! All is boring! No cramping! No bleeding!

(While we’re here, The Great Lurker Unveiling is still in progress, so hi Lurker! How are you?)

So, given that all is quiet on the Uterine Front (ohpleasepleaseplease…), and I am under a moral obligation to keep talking to you all, let us turn to the subject of Family, Oy Vey.

My family does a good Oy Vey.

My step-grandfather died on New Year’s Eve. He was in his 80’s and had Alzheimers, and had been living in a nursing home for the past five years, so this is neither shocking nor unexpected. What it is, is sad. When my grandmother was still alive, I went to visit her and Grandpa J (yes, we all called him Grandpa) quite often. He was a decent, upstanding, honourable, brave, intelligent, poetic sort of man, with a great deal of gentleness, tolerance and humour (all absolutely vital qualities for dealing with the women of my family. Ask H). I was so fond of him. And I hate, hate, hate the fact that he lost his mind. He had such a wonderful mind.

When Grandmama died, he went back to his home country, to be near his children from his first marriage. I haven’t seen him since he left. I would have liked to go to the funeral, which is happening on Saturday, but what with the current drama and current state of finances, a cross-continental 10-hour flight seemed, very quickly, a dumb idea.

Damn. I’d’ve liked to say good-bye to Grandpa J formally. He was a great one for manners and decent following of rituals.

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15 responses to “Other flavours of loss

  • twangypearl

    Hello! Glad all quiet on western front.

    But very sad to hear about your Grandpa – he sounded exceptional. So sad. Another of the old guard, it seems, is gone.

  • twangypearl

    Oh! I was trying to type Uterine, and it came out western. Very repressive internal censor, I have!

  • Blanche

    I’m sorry for your loss. I think it would be extra hard to not be able to attend the funeral of someone I cared about. Maybe you could create a ceremony for yourself that would satisfy your need to celebrate his life in a way you feel he would appreciate?

    Otherwise, glad there is no news of the negative variety related to exploding-tube-watch 2010.

    • Amanda

      So glad to hear that all is still quiet with the uterus. So so sorry to hear about your loss of your Grandpa J. (((hugs)))

  • a

    Glad to hear that things are boring. Boring is underrated.

    I’m with Blanche…hold your own small memorial service. Are there other members of your family who would like to sit around with some appetizers and a glass of wine (or juice, whatever) and reminisce?

  • Secret D

    Good to hear that things are normal with you. Sorry to hear about your loss, I think Alzheimers is one of the worst things to get.

    Hope things continue to be uneventful!

  • meganlisbeth

    glad to hear things are uneventful.
    i’m sorry about your grandpa. it’s very sad.
    xo
    megan

  • Jo

    I am so sorry about the loss of your grandfather. He sounds like a wonderful person, and I am sure he will be sorely missed.

    Hugs,
    Jo

  • Betty M

    Sounds like your Grandpa J would be the first to tell you to stay home and not even contemplate a 10 hours flight and your good thoughts were enough. He sounds like he was a great guy.

    No news good news in these circs but agree we need to have no news status confirmed!

  • lizee

    hello may,

    Thanks for the update. So glad to hear that everything is still hanging in. (literally)

    Sorry for the loss of your Grandpa. I second the motion of saying a private good bye. My father, at 99, began that unholy descent into mindlessness just three years ago. It is always so, so sad.

    But, you lady, hang on and be well.

  • Illanare

    I’m so sorry to hear about your Grandpa. Hugs.

  • manapan

    I’m sorry to hear about your Grandpa. He sounds like a great man. He would understand why you can’t be there right now. ((hugs))

  • Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos

    Dear May,
    Just dropping by to see how you’re doing…glad to hear all is quiet. As a distraction wanted to let you know I did the unthinkable and went on a TV talk show to discuss this subject that makes us nuts. You can find the clip http://www.silentsorority.com/

    Not sure why my brain didn’t include the UK in my list of countries. I’ll take the scared out of my wits defense…

    all the best to you, PJ

  • Jane

    Hope all is quiet on proverbial ‘western front’

  • Korechronicles

    Delurking only because I managed to sneak tiny snippet of computer use whilst other, less generous, family members were away from the house. Since I have managed to destroy three computers recently, I understand their fears for their expensive technological investments.

    However. Me…less internet access than I am used to. Or like.

    So sorry about Grandpa J. And so glad you are still…boring. Boring is Good.

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