Waiting for the snow

I, idle little super-special snow-flake that I am, am still in bed. I know it’s lunch-time.

Things achieved today:

  1. Called work and left rambling out-burst of apologies on the answer-phone for someone else to deal with. I think I said I’d email them at some point today. I have not done that yet.
  2. Eaten two slices of toast. This took me three hours. Why did it take me three hours? Because I feel sick, that’s why. Don’t get me started on the mthrfcking irony of getting morning sickness at 14 dpo while on exploding-tube-watch.
  3. Taken my lap-top back to bed with me and played Sims. Because, goddamnit, if my life’s not perfect, their lives will be. Make it so.
  4. Knitted about two rows of a brand new project I had no business casting on for when there’s so many unfinished things lying about the flat weeping in neglected despair.
  5. Umm… That’s it.

H is in the study, actually working, so I feel I can’t go and pester him just because I’m bored and slightly nauseous. I’m supposed to be saving him for distraught and in terrible agony.

Poor H. He is taking all this drama rather hard. I think he has had a non-stop stomach ache since I woke him with my thrashing and flailing at dawn last Wednesday and told him that he would now have to put his trousers on and find me a) sanitary towels and b) a pregnancy test and c) two paracetamol. At two weeks into the cycle. Even he knew this was weird and stupid and possibly delusional, but because he is a Good Husband, he did as he was asked.

And then the whole business of this happening in his parents’ wee hoosie. The In-Laws were angelic about letting me lie down out of everyone’s way on their bed (the hoosie is so wee H and I sleep in the living-room on the World’s Most Uncomfortable Sofa-Bed when we visit), and angelic about driving me to hospital when the pregnancy test came up positive and the kind person on the NHS Direct phoneline basically peed her pants a little and told me to go to the A&E NOW NOW NOW. And we all thought I was miscarrying and possibly rupturing something important into the bargain and I was in a lot of pain (grey, taciturn, scowling miserably) and I was bleeding and it was all a little, you know, personal, and they were both so sad and anxious for me, and God it was a miserable day.

Since when H has been chauffeur, hand-holder-in-chief and general dogs-body, and has watched complete strangers shove phallic things into what he has every right to regard as his private play-ground, and his wife wince when they do it, and he hates needles and yet there they are sticking endless needles into said wife and leaving socking great bruises behind, and then there’s constant waiting for the other shoe to drop and even more medical horrors to ensue.

And all the while, this is a man who longs to be a father, and who loves his wife, and he can’t protect her from all this, and he’s been through it all twice before, and I think he’s having trouble with the elasticity of his tether.

But he’s being very brave about it, and has just brought me lunch. In bed. So I can carry on being a super-special snow-flake.

And so we wait for the promised snow to start falling.


13 responses to “Waiting for the snow

  • a

    40 cm of snow sounds like a good reason to miss work…

  • Blanche

    Lounging around in bed all day seems ever so glam until you do it yourself and then it’s just not all that it’s pictured to be.

    Same for morning/all-day sickness.

    Good thoughts are heading your way from the other side of the pond.


  • The Sheila

    What a beautiful way to write about him. Yay for legendary husbands!

  • MFA Mama

    Awww I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

    That. Man. Is. A. KEEPER!


    And you? Enjoy your rest as much as you’re able to given the circumstances, and yay for nothing (that you’ve mentioned) having ruptured or started bleeding buckets-ful in the night.

    With YOU? We’ll say that makes today a good day 🙂 Now do try not to use your AK.

  • twangy

    Good on H, he is a lovely man. (I can tell even from the other side of the Irish Sea.) And he’s been through such a lot.

    Batten down the hatches now, my friends, the snowstorm is coming! Stay warm.

  • Hairy Farmer Family

    Chimingin to confirm that H really is indeed a totally lovely man, peeps. Only the best sorts of hubbies have such grace under pressure.

    May, darling, this is an awful time, and there’s just no making it better. Every trip to the bog is fraught with bowel-loosening terror. The only thing you can do to avoid looking at the bloody Sword of Damocles is Distract! Self! with Stuff! and spend hours resting your worried head in good books, tv, and computer games. Even work, at a push. Try not to think. Thinking bad.

    If the weather co-operates, I’m totally visiting!

  • Illanare

    Your H sounds like a lovely, lovely man.

    And you – stay in bed, snowflake, and rest, rest, rest.

  • Jo

    Sending hugs from way across the ocean. I can only imagine how scary this has all been for you! I’m on bedrest after a bleeding scare, too. If you get too terribly bored, email me and we can trade horrifying symptom stories. (I know, that sounds like such fun!)

    Anyway, thinking of you and hoping and praying for the best outcome possible.


  • arminta

    Oh my the drama we go through for a baby! Your man sounds like one of the good ones.

    (and yes, we are both pretty damn cool & cute!)

  • megan

    i’m so glad you have H.

  • Amanda

    I got a little teary eyed just reading this…that’s a good man you’ve got there. Of course you didn’t need me to tell you that.

    I’m hoping and praying that things go in a good direction for you.

  • Betty M

    H is a legend amongst husbands for sure.
    The snow still nowhere in sight here – nephew reported 4 cms in Oxford at 19:00 though.
    Just saw the tweets re the bleeding disorder – hope that they have spotted it in the tests – isnt it about time they tell you the results – damn it.

  • Valery

    Snowflakes, I hope you enjoy watching them… And that there will not be too many for you.

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