We were going to have hysterics whatever the result

Aaaaaannd…. back to the Mothership Hospital this lunch-time, for a third HCG blood test.

H and I are developing a bad habit of linking arms and humming Chopin’s Funeral March (which has unnerving tendency of morphing into the Imperial March from Star Wars) when walking from the car-park to the hospital. Apologies to all passers-by we have unnerved so far.

This one was being done on the Acute Gynae ward (ooh, ooh, been there!), as it is a Sunday and the EPU itself doesn’t really function on Sundays (though there are on-call doctors lurking about in case of emergencies). We walked in to find the place nearly deserted and with most of the lights switched off, which added a tenebrous melancholy to the proceedings.

The nurses at the reception desk were utterly charming (GOD how I love the staff at Mothership). After writing my name and date of birth down for them so they could fight the good fight with the notoriously unweildy new computer system, we were directed to some random chairs in a twilit corridor. Surpressed desperate urge to hum the Imperial March from Star Wars again.

The nurse came bustling along, flicking light-switches as she came, with the kit for taking a blood sample. She remarked on my very teutonic surname, and spoke to us in German, and was highly tickled when I had to confess I speak four words of it myself. Hers was excellent. She then tutted over the ‘spoiled’ veins in the back of my hand and the crook of my left arm. There is a good vein in the right elbow-crook, so I showed it to her, and, you know, the tiny needle they use to collect one vial is far more comfortable than the horking great thing they use to establish a drip and collect four vials, so the fact that so far this puncture is far less of a mess than the others may be not as much to do with her fabulous technique as she would like to assume. However, she wouldn’t let us go home until I’d sat pressing down hard on my puncture with my elbow bent and my right hand in the air for a good five or six minutes. I think she realised I was a bleeder when she thought she’d put the needle in awry (so much for technique) and yet I was still happily filling the syringe in double-quick time. Ahh, my enthusiastically runny blood. Is it, or is it not, an issue? When shall we ever know?

And then we checked they had our contact details, and went home again.

Cue incredibly tedious couple of hours, in which I lay on the bed ostensibly writing short stories but in reality googling beta levels at 12dpo, and in which H fretted and cleaned the kitchen and fretted some more (he is fretting more than I am. My poor darling, I’ve broken his stiff upper lip in three places).

Phone finally rings at about 4 o’clock. In 48 hours, my beta has gone from 37 to 64.

Oh God.

Best guess, as cycle was so immensely weird, I’m 12 dpo today.

Oh God.

Also, I haven’t had any more bleeding since yesterday (and it was definitely tapering off yesterday), and no bad pain or cramps since New Year’s Day (when they were also tapering off). Twinges, yes, but nothing scary.

Oh God oh God oh God.

And my mother is coming for dinner.


24 responses to “We were going to have hysterics whatever the result

  • megan

    wow. this is super crazy.
    i’m speechless.

  • QoB

    I have to confess I’ve been stalking your twitter feed all afternoon.

    hoping this qualifies as updating the shreddle to a shredlet.

  • Twangy

    Wow, hopeful turn of events!
    I mean, I think, right?
    Don’t know anything anymore. But can’t help hoping!

  • Jane G

    Ohhhhh that sounds good! On my last pregnancy, hcg at 15 dpo was 49, so that is a very encouraging result. Oh petal I am hoping and hoping for you xxx

  • a

    Well, then. Can’t wait to see what comes next.

  • Betty M

    Hoping that this is all good news. I have had a successful pregnancy with less hcg at 14 dpo (48 to be exact) if you find true stories helpful. Forget I said it if you dont.

  • Valery

    Oh my. Did anyone crunch some numbers for you? Are they going to poke you to a bruise every other day till we have ultrasound evidence of whatever it is is in a safe place? Is it OK to hope it might be weird, but in a good sense? the not bleeding anymore sounds OK…
    (Is H going to be able to eat dinner with his ‘broken stiff upper lip’?)

  • Nina

    Oh!!! Oh, baby, OH! This sounds hopeful! Crossing all available appendages, again!

  • Ben Warsop


    Good luck, darlings.


  • Hairy Farmer Family

    I see Ben’s Eeep! and raise you an Eeerk! If I told you how much I want this to happen for you, we’d still be here next week.

    I was thinking darkly comic thoughts about your extremely fecund family earlier. I know that actual Nuts children might be thin on the ground THUS FAR, but absolutely irrespective of outcome, you can sure as dammit look them all in the eye now during the ‘I, have had considerably more pregnancies, than YOW!’ jostling. You must have beaten SOMEONE’s score with this one?!

    You are also officially no longer the infertile one. This last quarter has been… busy. I formally take back every comment I ever made about Satsuma.

    Cute Ute has only to perform for another 8 months, and she will earn my unstinted and lavish praise.

    Go Cute. Go Cute. Go Cute.

    PS. If H wants to fret round our place, he’s always very welcome. The kitchen is a tip!

  • thalia


    I don’t know what to say.

    (and sorry for not writing earlier, have been in the frozen north with only intermittent coverage).

    Hang in there.

  • womb for improvement

    What the fuck is going on?! Hmmmm….

    I want the name and number of your acupuncturist.

  • May

    If you can tolerate another true-life reason to hope, my initial beta of 26 is currently napping with the remnants of his lunch burrito smeared liberally all over his face and clothing.

    All appendages crossed for you.

  • Rachel

    Wowie. When is the next step in this saga scheduled? Will be keeping my fingers crossed until then.

  • Melissia

    What a lovely number! Things are definitely looking up, and I will keep my fingers crossed for you as well for tomorrow’s ultrasound.

  • Solnushka

    Crikey nora, but the universe is determind to mess with your heads. Hugs all round, for you both and all involves organs.

  • Katie

    Oh my. It’s a page turner, this one!

  • bir

    I know you’ve google doctored those numbers till the cows come home already….
    but maybe some more numbers will help your confidence? My recent 12dpo BFP was 94 BUT I was told by my IVF clinic that that was about double what they expect as they look for about 100 at 14dpo!

    So, by my limited knowledge it sounds to me like you’re doing ok! Hang in there little one!!!


  • Jem

    A nail-biter! When is your next test?

  • Heather

    I’m sending you guys all my best thoughts and wishes and prayers!!

  • g

    I’m confused now- the 33 was too early, really wasn’t it? Then it only went up a bit and then doubled?

    My head hurts.

    Hoping it isn’t some nasty trick of an early m/c from LAST cycle hanging on to bite you in the ass. Or tube.

    Cautiously hopeful for you,



  • Molly

    Oh. Well then.

    We shall all hold hands and hope for you.

  • manapan

    Fingers crossed for good news for you!

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