I am having a moment

Please excuse me, my beloved regular Gentle Readers. I must just get a few things off my not-inconsiderable chest. You may prefer to avoid this post and return next time, as I can assure you I am not talking to any of you.

Item – If a blogger wants people to comment on her/his blog, it’s a good (logical?) idea to make sure they can. To take, ooh, a completely random example, if a blogger has a blogspot account, they might want to make sure they haven’t left the settings so only people with blogspot or google accounts can comment. As lovely as a given blog-post is, I am so not going to set up yet another account, on top of my wordpress ones, my hotmail one, my university one, my work one, my favourite forum one, my favourite forum off-shoot one, and my fertility charting one, just so I can say something on a new-to-me blog, on what might be a one-off mission. It’d be infinitely more courteous of the blogger to quickly-quickly-takes-three-minutes change his/her settings to accept openID or similar. No, I don’t mind doing word verification. Yes, I can perfectly see why a person wouldn’t want any old anonymous wing-nut barging about in the comments. Still. OpenID. Is way to go.

Item – Please don’t email me privately just to tell me how your four miscarriages and two failed IVFs trump my two (three?) miscarriages and six Clomid cycles. Of course they do. I never said they didn’t. I am well aware there are bloggers/blog-readers out there whose stories make mine look like a brisk skip through the autumn leaves in my favourite park. But, you see, my blog is about (go figure!) me. It would be very odd if it were about you, don’t you think? You’re perfectly entitled to set up your own blog and ask for your well-deserved cookies and cuddles on that. Meanwhile, as I skipped through said park, I trod on a rake. I may not have fallen in a bear-trap as you did, but my nose is bleeding right now and a hanky would be more… befitting?… than a lecture on the bigness and sharpness of the stakes you fell on. (For the record, I am writing this here instead of replying to you privately because my hand went into a sort of spasm as I read your email, and I hit ‘delete’ and then I hit ‘delete irretrievably forever’. And then I ran away and made a cup of tea and spilt said tea over carpet. When I had finished mopping and hyperventilating, I realised I couldn’t retrieve the email. This is probably for the best). (Also for the record, this email was (apparently) not from a blogger or a regular reader/lurker).

Item – To the person who, anonymously, left a ‘how exciting! Congratulations!’ comment on the post with the positive pregnancy test this morning: That photo was taken more than two weeks ago. There have been, what, ten? posts since that one. While I appreciate the sentiment, it is a good idea in general to check the most recent post on a blog if you’re late to the party. Especially on an IF blog. We are the club of Shit Happens. I’m afraid I have deleted the comment. I’m in a button-stabbing sort of mood. I do appreciate the sentiment, I swear. It’s just the timing of it that… is not quite… you know. (Incidentally, this happened last time too. *sigh*).

To those of you who read all this anyway, despite the fact it didn’t apply to you, sorry about that. I must now go and knit something at a ferociously tight tension and knock another cup of tea over.


23 responses to “I am having a moment

  • a

    I actually stepped on a rake and hit myself square between the eyes once. It fucking hurt…but it wasn’t as painful as the miscarriages. If anyone had seen it, though, I’m sure they would have thought it was HILARIOUS.

    Just another random and useless comment to make your day.


    • May

      Ow. Yes, there’s always that added ouch of knowing everyone else isn’t taking your concussion seriously because HAH HAH HAH!

      I once sat on a wood-stove and burnt my bottom. HILARITY. I had a scar for years. But I’d rather do it again every day for a year, complete with family laughing themselves sick, especially at sight of me sat in bucket of cold water afterwards, than lose another baby.

  • Minawolf

    Honestly, for the longest time I was the person in Item 1. Why? Because I didn’t know you COULD open it since Blogger had started that after I started the blog :/ I hate when they add new fun settings and don’t let you know you can change it now.

    • May

      See, wordpress plasters this kind of announcement all over the dashboard. You can’t post at all without seeing it. It never OCCURRED to me other blog-hosts wouldn’t do the same. Eh. I shall leave it up there as a friendly hint rather than a disgruntled whinge.

  • Martin

    You know, we found it hard enough convincing ourselves that we were worthy of a shoulder to cry on, and that was ‘just’ with a long running TTC adventure, no losses. To have people ‘remind’ you that ‘it could be worse’ does my head in.

    • May

      At least I had some idea of why it wasn’t working. You guys were completely at sea for so long, I was going mad with frustration on your behalf. It has always seemed to me that all forms of IF all suck.

      (Unless you’ve been off the pill for three months and forgot to bang your husband the last cycle and don’t know how ovulation actually works and now have the nerve to complain ‘it’s TAKING too LONG.’ Then, uh, yeah, it could be worse, also, EDUCATE yourself).

  • MFA Mama

    Oh dear. The drive-by Pain Olympians of the world are right pains in the arse when you’re hurting in your own individual way on your own personal blog, aren’t they? I can relate; I’m not an Infertile (I just sort of ended up reading a lot of IF bloggers while my BFF was going through some fertility heartache and I was trying to figure out how to be good support to her without putting my foot in my fertile mouth), but I have had a blog in the past where I wrote about my children and their special needs and there is ALWAYS someone who will say “well I’ll see your g-tube and raise you a tracheostomy!” and someone else who’ll jump onto the thread if you’re not quick with the “delete” button and invoke the Godwin’s Law of special-needs parenting and say “I’d give anything to still worry about my child’s g-tube AND tracheostomy because they’re DEAD” and gaahhhhhh why do people do that?!?

    Please do remind yourself when you’re feeling stabby and knitting socks that can stand on their own that a lot of us read because we care about YOU and YOUR particular “walk through the park,” and would absolutely get you a hanky for your bleeding nose and chivvy you into sitting down and putting your feet up while WE fetch the tea if we were there!

  • twangy

    Blooming Nora but some people are demented. Why would anyone want to trump someone’s pain like that? To what end?
    It’s too strange.

    I hope they don’t bother you any more. Really, you have enough to worry about.

  • Bkwyrm

    Good lord. Your pain is your pain – and it hurts, regardless of the level of someone else’s pain.
    I am sorry some people are idiots.

  • Illanare

    Ah, Pain Trumps. Takes a special kind of weird to play that game. I’m sorry that you’ve had to go through it because of some twit.

    Would you like a Bourbon cream to go with your cup of tea ?

  • Katie

    Now worried it’s me with the rogue blogspot blog… but you’ve commented recently… phew.

    I think I have some plain chocolate digestives left. But you don’t want my parkin, I tried to make it at the weekend but it was a complete fail. So we ate it anyway.

  • Ben Warsop

    Send her to me. I am in a mood to rend creatures limb from limb and would be delighted to offer my services in such a good cause.

    And good for you with that ‘delete’ button. I tend to reply and hit ‘send’.

    I am SO SORRY that the world’s sending you bitch-bunnies.

    Love to you both.


  • Solnushka

    Oh that is simply outragous. Idiot fuckwit. Honestly. Some people.

  • Mel

    I’m still laughing over this line: “It would be very odd if it were about you, don’t you think?”

  • g

    I agree. Wholeheartedly.

    I never seem to get drive-by commenters, which is odd, but I would not be as clever about them, by half.


  • Womb For Improvement

    That email! And I thought it was bad whenever I told people about our difficulties they’d bring up their mate who was older/ ill-er/ single-r/ infertile-r. So really I shouldn’t complain.

    Maybe drink that tea, rather than kick it over?

  • thalia

    Oh and can I add to the blogspot thingy, why do you have to have the identity thing AND the word recognition thing turned on. Surely if I’ve got to have proved I’m a person with an account I can skip the word recognition? And why word recognition on a password protected blog? WHY?

  • Korechronicles

    I struggle to understand these One Up on You Muppets. And I have nothing to say about their latent stupidity, tact-free brain cells and completely dumb competitive streak. Run a marathon if you so want to be the best. And leave May alone.

    May, I admire your ability to laugh at these dills. You rock!

  • QoB

    I have been known to knock over a cup of tea and burn my arse twice in one day.

    I’ve also been known to think that my cleavage was a good place to rest a (full) teacup for a moment. I think you can guess how that worked out.

    Wishing you a solid surface for your teacups.

  • Betty M

    The D-B P O is an idiot. They also have unbelievably complex medal systems and no doubt spend hours working out if 8 failed IUIs beats 1 failed ivf or if an ectopic trumps a m/c.

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