Item – HFF sent me these:
The bouquet was too big to put in any of our vases, so I made H divide and conquer it, and now the flat looks like a stage-star’s dressing-room, with flowers all over the place. Can you see the white roses? I love roses. And lisianthus. *pleased sigh* (God knows what the florist thought on being asked to write ‘Love, the Hairy Farmer Family’ on the little card. I had a mental image of him/her desperately maintaining a very professional poker-face. For some reason it made me giggle for hours).
Item – I have had so many kind, supportive text-messages, from HFF (hi, HFF!), and from my friends Ben (hi Ben!), who comments here, and her lovely husband, who doesn’t, but does read (hah! Hi to you too!). There are people out there who really really care about me. Nice, funny, sweet, intelligent people. I can’t tell you how much it helps to feel people (especially people I know and am fond of) care. I also have a friend who doesn’t know about this blog, but who I had to strand on his own on a theatre door-step with no bed for the night because I was, uh, miscarrying again (he was around the first time I miscarried too, and I messed up his plans that time as well). He has been emailing me an endearing mix of kind, caring emails and some excellent gallows-humour. I am so proud of my friends.
Item – The comments! Dear God, the wonderful, wonderful comments, from my usual Bloggy pals, and from new people wandering over from LFCA (I got three mentions in a row!), and from long-time lurkers decloaking in my time of need. I am so touched. You have made me feel so cared for. OK, now I need a tissue.
Item – My Friend Who Knows Who She Is came round with a bucket of ice-cream and a precious packet of real Russian cocoa from her super-special stash. And we had one of those pleasant, slightly twisted conversations which meandered through miscarriage and various other medical mishaps and ended up cheerfully general, and we ate the icecream and then we had tea and tea-cake. I felt quite jolly after that. It takes a magic sort of person to make a woman in my state feel jolly. I am impressed. And grateful.
Item – Codeine. Codeine is good. Only, it makes me burble like a loon and walk into furniture. Hot damn, but I feel so much better today. It can’t all be the codeine, can it? Look, if I sound stoned, it’s because I am. I’ll probably read this tomorrow and see all the typos and infelicities of orthography and cry.
Item – My tutor has, cheerfully and for the mere asking (though I did mention ‘hospital’ and ’emergency’), given me extra time to finish my first assignment for the creative writing course. Bless her. I was beginning to feel a little melodramatic about that. Because, seriously, every SINGLE time I have been studying in my ENTIRE LIFE, some huge and ridiculous drama has blown up in my face. And now, again? I was only doing the creative writing for fun, FFS.
Item – H. H is the best part of my life so far.