Yay boo yay boo

Yay: I am going to divorce H and marry Naproxen Sodium. I heart it this much. Those of you who have been casting your benevolent eyes over this blog for any length of time will know that I have PAINFUL periods. P. A. I. N. F. U. L. All done by the one small uterus, without the aid of endometriosis, fibroids, or its very own meat-grinder. Said uterus laughs in the face of paracetamol, sneers at ibuprofen, never even notices aspirin is in the building, and grudgingly shuts up for an hour or so when bludgeoned with codeine. Big, prescription only post-surgery doses of codeine. On Naproxen? She goes quiet. For hours and hours. There was a bad bit yesterday evening when she wore off before I could get another dose, which very nearly led to me thumping H for sensibly saying ‘it’s only for another hour or so,’ and then I got my dose, and within 40 minutes I was all, like, bliss, man. Rainbows. And unicorns.

Boo: The bleeding is ridiculous. Survived yesterday at work changing super plus extra tampons every two to three hours. Today, Ute ups the ante and decides, unilaterally, that I want all my blood on the outside, and the super plus extra (can absorb 15 to 18 g!) tampons are caving in less than an hour. For fuck’s sake. I had the day off work. H and I were going to go to museums and things. Ah ha ha ha.

Yay: About yesterday, which was our wedding anniversary, the dinner at the fancy-pants restaurant was marvellous, and the food was unnaturally fabulous, and I had a glass of wine, and talked incessantly about meta-data and H let me. Cute Ute decided to have a crampy hissy fit during dessert, and then I had to haul her home on foot (normally not a problem, and a nice walk), and like I said above, nearly whacked H at one point, but even she failed to spoil the evening. So there.

Boo: Yeah, but I couldn’t finish my dessert, which was creme brulée, which I love, and which this restaurant does SUPERBLY oh God drool dribble mmmmmmmmm, and that I had been looking forward to for weeks, solely because bad cramps invariably make me feel a little sick.

Yay Yay Yay: H and I have been married for 4 years, and have been an item for 17 years, and I still adore him, and he still seems to adore me, bless his heart (and he is being extremely sweet about the non-museum-visiting, and has promised to go post the Mother’s Day cards and do the shopping while I lay at home in a heap, and also he gave me a new and very pretty gold chain for my grandmother’s opal pendant (the old chain was getting manky and revealing it’s less-than-gold nature rather badly)). And H is handsome and smells nice and is funny and gentle and almost terminally good-natured and generous, and all my family adore him nearly as much as I do, and (SF&F geek bonus) he looks like a Rider of Rohan. (But I still might have to turf him out for the Nap, which rocks).


14 responses to “Yay boo yay boo

  • Heather


    Once, BigP told me: “Just don’t worry about it.” when I was venting about a work problem. I left him at the grocery store and drove home. He had to walk. It was winter and dark and cold. When he got home I was reading a book in front of a lovely fire – he doesn’t say stupid things like that anymore.

  • a

    Is divorce REALLY necessary? I mean, can’t you just have an occasional extremely passionate affair with the Naproxen Sodium? I’m sure H wouldn’t mind, as even the thought of it keeps you from thumping him.

    Happy Anniversary!

  • Xbox4NappyRash

    I took a double take at the first line.

    Tell me, does it annoy you when people ask how long you’ve been married and you tell them 4 years (3.5 for us) but you really want to say 17 (11.5 fro us) because that’s actually more accurate?

  • shinejil

    Happy anniversary! Glad the Nap saved the evening.

  • PiquantMolly

    “…and the food was unnaturally fabulous, and I had a glass of wine, and talked incessantly about meta-data and H let me.”

    Now THAT is the measure of a man. And looking like a rider of Rohan don’t hurt either. Congrats of 4 years.

  • Hairy Farmer Family

    A drug that controls period pain?! Like, properly?
    I am interested… VERY interested… And on the plus side, it does sound as if, cometh the day, the Cute Ute will have a superbly juicy endometrium for your Embies (Blleeeeeeuurrhhhhhhhggggh!) to burrow and snuggle into. She’s… trying. In every sense of the word.

    Gosh, 13 years! We have been married very nearly 5, but I hustled John into church only 18 months after we started going out, so that I could breed before I hit 30. (Hah!). Anniversaries are nice. I think 4th is Linen, it’s the 3rd that’s Leather. Gifts are funsies that year…

    The thought of that unfinished creme brulee makes me a little sad. I may have to go and make some and eat them all, in order to quell that nagging vicarious regret!

  • geohde

    AH, May. You and H sound like such a lovely couple. Here’s to many many more years,


  • Betty M

    Happy anniversary! I will be heading out for some of that naproxen asap!

  • Betty M

    Darn it – just read the previous post and comments. NSAIDs are verboten for me. Grr.

  • Nina

    I’m so glad you feel better. Happy Anniversary!

  • Arian

    I will agree with your love for Naproxen. I even had it ok’d by my doc to just take a double dose of Aleve (Naproxen with an otc brand name). It works wonders! It used to actually lessen the severity of my bleeding too. Hasn’t done that in a while though thanks to provera. Still that stuff is wonderful!

  • Ben Warsop

    Nothing wrong with talking incessantly about metadata. I can do that myself. With diagrams. Did you do diagrams?

    *blows kisses*


  • thalia

    I’m so glad the naproxen worked. And Happy Anniversary. 17 years? SO you got together when you were, um, 14 or something?

  • womb for improvement

    Have you tried smack? That might help the pain too…

    Happy (belated) Anniversary.

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