Scream if you want to go faster

Miss Consultant’s poor benighted secretary, a cross between an angel, a slave and wikipedia, got back to me yesterday. Guess what Miss Consultant wants me to do?


Because I’m seeing her on the 25th and what’s two more weeks?

Well, for starters, if she’d got back to me when I first asked, it’d’ve been four weeks and pretty much enough time for another whole cycle, but never mind. It’s not like I’ve spent the two weeks I’ve been begging for her attention filling in IVF paperwork or any other little thing like that that concentrates the mind WONDERFULLY.

It’s not that I want to not do IVF, not that I’m hugely keen on needles and bloating. But I did want to give Clomid a proper actual try, you know, with several goes and a possibility of it working properly on account of my actually ovulating, before I jogged on to the next task in this giant game of Myst, Infertile Island Edition.

Because Clomid worked before (Hah. See? These infertility doctors are infecting me with their jargon. ‘Worked’ indeed). And if all the matter is, is I can’t ovulate or, at least, can’t ovulate in a timely fashion and before the given egg has been boiled hard in a soup of estrogen and LH, then surely Clomid is the answer. Therefore the thing to do is get me to ovulate before the end of the third week of the cycle, several cycles in a row. And then panic and bring on the needles. Surely. And all this fucking about waiting for clinic appointments because my consultant ‘doesn’t do’ calling back, is a complete waste of time.

Incidentally, H was on an IVF message board earlier this week (no, I had no idea, this was his own spontaneous action, and I was so startled at the information I think I forgot to be touched and delighted), and Miss Consultant apparantly has rather a reputation for being inaccessible and not answering her patients’ calls.

Dear Christ in heaven, why me?


In other Fairly Major News, my FIL had open-heart surgery today. He seems to have come through it fine, and they didn’t have to replace anything with metal or pig-parts, which was a worry and is a bonus (I mean, my MIL is an insomniac as it is – imagine asking the poor woman to sleep next to a man who clanks all night). He’s still sedated in Intensive Care (normal after a heart op), so we have to wait, wait, waitwaitwaitwaitwait, until tomorrow to get a proper update. H is like a cat in a rocking-chair factory, poor lamb. Think happy thoughts for H’s Dad, and H’s Mum, and grandparents, and brother, and for H too, please, dear internets.


16 responses to “Scream if you want to go faster

  • Katie

    Happy thoughts officially being thunk.

    I have to say, although Clomid “worked” for you once, it does look awfully like it really doesn’t work for you every time. Must be very frustrating.

  • Nina

    Best wishes for the FIL. Cardiac surgery is no fun. An absolute insult to the body. Oh, and a lifetime of Turkey sausage, low fat everything, and blood pressure meds. Which can cause impotence. (Don’t let H see this. If he ever develops Hypertension, he’ll be scared to death.) On the other, I still think you should stage a demonstration until you get what you need. Just my opinion. At the very least, you’d end up on the 10 o’clock news and Little Miss Stupid will be exposed, and possibly fired?

  • geohde

    Oh deary me. The NHS really does run on wheels clogged with glue.

    Hoping your FIL recovers uneventfully. If it helps, I used to be the one yelling DEEP BREATH and COUGH! at people who’d just had open hear surgery at the John Radcliffe in Oxford many years ago in a past career. They all seemed to do pretty well, despite me.


  • korechronicles

    Sending every possible good thought for the surgically interventioned FIL and best wishes to you both as you navigate the unfairly turbulent encounters with telephone averse NHS consultant. May many emus kick her dunny down. With her in it.

  • womb for improvement

    Am impressed at H braving the usually female domain of the IVF message boards.

    Happy thoughts coming your way.

  • Betty M

    Happy thoughts being thought here too.

    Perhaps an anonymous email to Ms consultant’s boss with a link to the board in question? I know the clinics do read the boards on and off (you have to be of strong stuff to read them all the time).

  • Solnushka

    Everything officially crossed for FiL and a hug for H.

    And a hug for you too. Please go and give Miss Consultant hell in your appointment. Honestly. Bloody woman.

  • H

    Thank you all for your thoughts and support for May and I

    Firstly, an update on May’s FIL (easier to keep the same abbreviations I think) – apparently he walked across the room today!

    Secondly, just to clarify my foray into IVF forum-land – I was searching for potential other contact routes for consultant and it was one of the results returned. The comment about her never been obtainable was from 2003! I can’t claim to be courageous enough to post on any place like that though.

  • Nina

    I’ll do it for you, H! Just let me know. I’m bitchy enough for the whole group. I’ll take care of it. Besides, I really need to holler at someone, and soon. Let off some steam, you know.

  • Nina

    I’ll do it for you, H! Just let me know. I’m bitchy enough for the whole group. I’ll take care of it. Besides, I really need to holler at someone, and soon. Let off some steam, you know. You let that stuff back up too long, and some poor teller at the bank who forgot your envelope is really gonna get an earful.

  • Hairy Farmer Family

    Late to the well-wishing party, and it appears that FIL has attained ambulatory status without the impetus of my personal good-health vibes, but very sincere well-wishing taking place nevertheless!

    Perhaps a good start to the appointment would be to outline to Consultant the precise details of the 3 weeks in which she & her secretary managed to signally underachieve, and enquire how she thinks such poor service might be best avoided in future?

  • MsPrufrock

    I say good on H for braving those boards, as he is far more man than I am. However, as soon as he starts referring to himself as your “DH”, or passing on good wishes to members of the board with expressions like “STICK LITTLE EMBIES, STICK!!”, it is time to be very concerned.

    Continued good wishes to FIL for a quick recovery. Up and about already – impressive!

  • Xbox4NappyRash

    Gosh, good luck on all fronts there.

    Nice one H by the way.

  • Oh, for f*ck’s sake « Nuts in May

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