When they say OPKs do not work for women with PCOS, they usually mean, oy, you with the bubble-wrap ovaries, you’re producing so much LH your pee-sticks will just go ‘Positive. Positive. Positive. Oh, my, it’s positive. Still positive. Knock yourselves out, it’s positive. Positive. Positive. I’m bored now. Positive,’ ad infinitum. Or, alternately, for other women, they go ‘Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Look, you’re not going to ovulate this cycle, OK?’.
Mine usually go ‘Nope. Nope. Something vague. Possibly. OOOH IT’S WORKING. Done now’, but only when I time the peeing on them exactly right and I normally only bother on a Clomid cycle. But on a Clomid cycle, they have, so far, actually worked.
This cycle, they have gone ‘Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Look, you’ll hurt yourself if you hold your pee for that long, and anyway, nope. Oh, OK, you can have a faint line. And another faint line. And again. And a stronger line. And an even stronger line. And an even stronger than that even line, but still absolutely not matching the control line. Faint line. And back to nope.’
Today is ‘back to nope’ day. After a strongish but definitely not positive one on Friday. But my temperature has not risen, and today Satsuma has been really quite whiny all day (she normally cuts that out after ovulation) and I can’t find my cervix and there is all that EWCM again (did you need to know that? Tough). My oestrogen levels are clearly still high (they tend to be high all the fucking time, if I can’t be tricked or bullied into ovulating. I have had blood-tests to prove it. Also, I have near constant EWCM (yay, we need to know this!), sub-Arctic basal body temperature, a migraine habit, a lardy arse, water retention, thinning hair (because excess oestrogen in PCOS for cheerful reasons of its own goes hand in hand with high testosterone levels, something to do with insufficient SHBG to mop up all the chaos), insomnia, and the sly mimicking of a buggered thyroid, for which I have also been tested twice now). (BTW, Thalia, fertility monitor manufacturers insufferable and are saying their product not suitable for women with PCOS with NO ADDED EXPLANATION.).
It is day 23 of this cycle. Which, because I am just so fucking funny, I named ‘Clomid take 4 – why is this taking so long?’. And the Universe took it as a challenge. The Universe is a git.
Any guesses as to what is going on in there? Anyone? Bueller?