Ovary in a coma

Cycle day 16.

Because we were going to be spending so much time sleeping late in bedrooms the same approximate temperature as Tromso in February, drinking alcohol, and running about the country-side in the annual festive game of Family Tag, and therefore my Basal Body Temperature would be swinging wildly about (and yes, it has been, thank you for asking) I decided to use OPKs this cycle. I also decided to use OPKs because my clinic, the ACU, likes me to use OPKs and gets all twitchy-pants at the very idea of a woman just, you know, winging it.

I started widdling on sticks (well, in cups, to be honest, my aim is very very bad and the results unhygenic if I widdle directly on a stick) – where was I? Oh yes. I started widdling in cups on day 12. No. Wait. That one, I couldn’t find a cup, so attempted a direct wetting, and the stick turned out to be dud and refused to give me any lines at all until 24 hours later, and H and I got all aereated about the use-by date on the remaining sticks, also, doing this in your In-Laws’ microscopic downstairs loo, with a sprint through the main household thoroughfare to the nearest sink and/or bin? Not recommended.

Day 13, had jam-jar, whole thing neatly accomplished in mother’s vast upstairs bathroom. Negative.

Day 14, ditto. Ditto.

Day 15, home at last, own special Mug For Wee put to good use. Negative.

Day 16, even more negative. What? Peed on second stick later in afternoon after holding it for a good four hours. Still even more negative.

H and I have been valiantly at it every 48 hours like the stage to Edinburgh and back (I know, I’d prefer every 24 too, but, you know, we were staying with family, on fold-out sofa-beds, in ear-shot of FAMILY, and H has a cold) on the understanding that Satsuma would deliver tomorrow. She, at present, seems to have curled up into a little snoofly ball, with her nosey-wosey pressed into her furry flank and a copy of Marie-Claire draped over her face.

We do have EWCM. I’ll give her that. But I get that whether I’m going to ovulate or not (joys of PCOS, chapters 2 through 17) so I am not impressed.

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7 responses to “Ovary in a coma

  • Hairy Farmer Family

    Oh Satsuma, you bad, bad girl. And H’s cold just needs to Bugger Right Off Already. Grrrrr.
    I pee in a Bertolli pasta sauce mug. You?!

  • a

    Rotten uncooperative ovary! Does she think she’s on Christmas break or something?

  • geohde

    Oh, the pee sticks of poverty? It gets expensive, even with internet cheapies, I find. Plus I always have blazing positives because my LH is about 50 million.

    Get it together Satsuma!

    J

  • korechronicles

    *Loud piercing whistle from other side of the world* Hey, Satsuma, you listening? It’s 2009, where’s your sense of pride? New Year. Resolutions. You know the drill…this year I will produce as required on time and no reading magazines or skiving off before I sweep the ovarian floor. Etc, etc. It’s only the first week of January. far too early to be giving up on those goals. What would Dr Phil say?

  • Jane G

    Satsuma needs a good kick up the arse, or the ovarian equivalent of her arse. Hope she hatches soon.

  • Xbox4NappyRash

    Is a home insemination kit not looking really attractive around now?

    Halvsies?

    Although, on 2nd thoughts…

  • womb for improvement

    Bloody pcos trying to catch you unawares, she’ll slip out and I hope you’ll still be there peeing on that stick.

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