Item: I love all you guys advising me to grasp the nettle and just email my friend already. I think I omitted to mention the vital point that I don’t have a freaking clue what to say to her in any medium. ‘Er, hey, look, can we talk about me for a while?’ No, wait, how about ‘Please tell me about your uterus and your plans for it, I’m dying to know…’ Hmm. How about, ‘Let’s all talk gonads!’ Umm. Or ‘Actually, about the Book Thing? I’m on your husband’s side and you totally need to stop nagging him.’ Also ‘DIY bores me shit-witted. I’m sorry, but it does. As anyone who saw the collapsing slum I live in would have guessed that in three goes.’ And then back to, ‘so, you will let me know if you’re planning to have kids, won’t you, and not just two-by-four me upside the head with it as a ‘cute surprise’? Because I’m precious and special and deserve twice as much consideration as anyone else in your life. By the way, send me more pictures of your kittens. I like those.’ …… Is why I haven’t already emailed her.
Item: H is quite annoyed with my mother. This has quite a lot to do with the fact that he had to live with the royal funk her last visit threw me into. But it also has a lot to do with her cavalier assumption we’re just raring to spend Christmas en famille, trapped in a chalet, and unable to talk to anyone outside the bunker as neither H nor I speak French or German above the level required to prove we are incontrovertably English. Especially as H’s dad is waiting for open-heart surgery (oh joy) in December. A point that was made to my mother, by me, but as we know, things that I say Don’t Count. So H has EMAILED her, very politely and civily, to say he’d rather we were in reach of his own family, considering, and also that after the June Fiasco, we’d both be nervous wrecks whether we were pregnant or not and therefore not good company to be trapped in chalet/bunkers with. Nothing pointed in that email at all. But my mother thinks H is God, so if there is any negative come-back from this it’ll be mine, all mine. And then we can have an unholy row and spend Christmas on different land-masses by mutual consent.
Item: I had planned to print out and send my mother the ‘for friends and family’ pages from Resolve and the Miscarriage Association. In fact, I had vaguely planned to do this months ago. Again, nettle to grasp, yes?
Item: As I was typing the above, my mother’s reply to H’s email came back. Very accepting and understanding. Last sentence: ‘As for getting pregnant, I can’t think of anything more exciting!’. Am connecting up the printer right now and playing Johnny Cash singing ‘Hurt’ on loop as I do so.