I knew I’d get a migraine. I knew it. I was lying wide awake last night, neck muscles you could string a tennis-racquet with, at three ack emma, wishing there was someone I could blame and therefore kill for all the horrible wakefulness, and I thought: ‘You know, it’s exactly this sort of frantic insomnia that gives me migraines. Especially if, as I vaguely suspect, my estrogen levels are dicking about in preparation for another round of Operation Mindfuck, or, Was That Ovulation? Yes? No? No? Possibly? Ohh, Never Mind.’

And I woke up again at six. And I finally got up at seven, and lurched into the bathroom, and noticed my left eye was bloodshot and puffy. Fabulous. I lurched back to the bedroom. It dawned apon me the lurching was a little more than half-awakeishness. Bloody buggering fabulous. Oh, look, a castellated scotoma. Twinkle twinkle. Fuck it. Take horse-pills. Go back to bed. Get out of bed to email work brief and misspelt excuses. Go back to bed. Pull duvet over head and pretend to be a fried egg.

I got up again at about 2 pm, feeling dizzy, very hungover and very very hungry, but at least no one was trying to pick-axe their way out through my left temple anymore. Hurrah for horse-pills. Spent afternoon vegetating.

I used to get about one or two migraines a year. I can only attribute the vast increase in frequency to hormones, or, specifically, to whatever hormonal wibbliness goes on in the lead-up ovulation. Now that I do ovulate. So, does this mean a) I am merely very tired, or does it mean b) I am going to ovulate at a normal sort of time this cycle? This unmedicated cycle?

Don’t answer that. It’s bound to be answer c) Bwahahahahahahah.

I haven’t read many of the comments I received yesterday/ today. Too busy chewing the sheets and swearing under my breath (oo-er). Will get round to it as soon as I get some sleep, I promise.


6 responses to “Hormoaning

  • Xbox4NappyRash

    batten down the hatches.
    Us saddos will be here when you come out…

  • geohde


    Will you hit me if I tell you I get the rather unusual acephalgic migraine? I get the scotomas/fortification spectyra and sometimes a sensory march but almost never the headache part.

    The first time it happened, I thought I was having a stroke….


  • Korechronicles

    Hoping the foul after-effects of migraine are fading fast. I was once found banging my head against the wall in a toilet block when I was away on camp and had to be carted off for a night of drugs in a lovely hospital bed. More recently the classic migraines have given way to the type suffered by Geodhe – vision disturbance, aura, occasional nausea and transitory confusion. Although that last one is really, really hard to pick from my normal state of being.

    Wishing you lots of doona time over the weekend.

  • womb for improvement

    Rest. Take drugs. Rest some more.

  • Aphra Behn

    I get both kinds at separate times. Thank science for horse pills.

  • Hairy Farmer Family

    Oh God. This all sounds appalling! Castellated what now?

    May, I do so hope you’re feeling totally better by now, although twitter tells me perhaps not. I very occasionally have headaches which boil my eye in its socket for 6 hours and make my skull hurt so much I wince and twitch my skull with every banging hammer blow- does that count as migraine?!

    Upcoming post at HFF regarding Operation Mindfuck ovulation hormonal wibbliness, too. There must have been something in that pot of tea we drank!

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