Item: The fertility charting site has given me dotted lines, centred on Tuesday. Meaning, H, the software and I are all standing there, looking at Satsuma, and saying ‘I suppose, if you squint, it rather looks like ovulation. Possibly. Meh.’ Speaking of which, Robyn Kore Chronicles’ remark on the last blog post made me nearly pee myself laughing. Quite.
Item: On the other hand, I have a sore throat this afternoon, so, is it possible that, ah hah hah hah, my temperature is raised because I am, I really am, coming down with something, arse and feck and buggery, and Satsuma is giving me a ‘who, me? Whatever gave you that idea?’ look?
Item: Incidentally, H and I were, ahem, were, well, fucking, over the weekend. Apparantly even married people do this occasionally. And we were doing this with gay abandon, hee hee, because we were both perfectly convinced Satsuma had gone on holiday to Torremolinos and we’d be taking the provera in a couple of days time. You know. We were being perfectly sensible, based on the situation as we understood it. Well. No. We weren’t being perfectly sensible at all, and if I was a teenager behaving like this, oh the lecture on condoms I’d be giving myself. And H. Especially H.
Item: Because someone at some point said something about not TTC this cycle. And I went nod nod quite. But does said advice apply if the sodding cycle is two sodding months long? Why is the advice given in the first place? Why don’t I know any of this already? What is wrong with me?
Item: In any case, H is panic-struck with what-ifs. You know, the worst case scenario: There was a very good reason not to TTC, and we get very temporarily pregnant again, and we both go to pieces so fast people get hit by the shrapnel. Because up until recently, the worst case scenario was totally failing to get pregnant at all ever; and now we know better.
Item: I, on the other hand, feel almost clever – I have stolen a whole free cycle (possibly, see above) from under the noses of the clomid police. Hah hah! I am in control here! If only by being so astonishingly OUT of control and completely abysmally stupid at all times! Just like a teenager! Time for that little chat!