I was spotting again this morning.
Yes, I know, the morning of my double-damned exam. Thanks a frickin’ bunch, universe.
It’s only spotting, I said to myself (eventually. After much foul language). I needn’t get my knickers in a bunch over this. I shall go and do my exam. I shall check when I get out of the exam hall. If it’s much the same, I shall go home and call the ACU. If it has stopped, I shall go for coffee (decaf for me, obviously) with my friends for a post-exam wig-out. If it is worse, I will be very close to a very large hospital – I shall go there and cry in the middle of their Accident and Emergency unit. I like plans. They are immensely soothing.
As it happened, I managed to concentrate for most of the exam, and write long (if not necessarily legible or intelligible) answers. I only stared at the giant Periodic table they always seem to hang somewhere in exam halls and fretted about Pikaia about once every hour or so. And when I got out and rushed madly (bursting! Bursting! Three hours is a bit much in a shared pelvis) to the loo, the spotting was much reduced. So I went and had coffee and and a good chat, and then I went to the supermarket to get a few things, and then I started feeling sick, and went home.
I know very well a bit of first-trimester spotting is as nothing, NOTHING, I tell you, compared to many people’s stories. I will keep this in perspective. I will not freak out and cry. It’s within normal parameters. I have been told at what point to really panic.
It is all knocking a little of the shine off this pregnancy lark. But I am a deluded fool to think it could be otherwise. Getting pregnant took over two-and-a-half years, months on end of bleeding, a lot of pain, an HSG, a lap-hysteroscopy-D&C, more blood tests and ultrasounds than I can possibly count and two rounds of medication with concommittent furious grouching. After that, a boring, hitch-free pregnancy? Ohhh, no. Not bloody likely. I shall be more blessed and lucky than I can imagine if I get away with just a little freaky bleeding.