I spent entirely too much time on the internets yesterday. So much so that my common sense ran away screaming and left me at the mercy of that annoying Inner Child who always pokes at things until they break.
According to one set of instructions, one should pee on the OPK stick first thing in the morning, as that’s when you’ll have the most and most concentrated urine sample. According to a second set of instructions, this is all hooey and one should spend the morning with crossed legs and cotton-mouth so one can get a reasonably concentrated, four-hours-worth sample, which will, crucially, include LH as apparantly we produce it in the early hours of the morning and it doesn’t get into a girls wee until a little later. And I went back and forth between these two sets of instructions, and dithered as to whether I should stay with the late morning thing, or do an early morning thing.
So I did both.
Early morning OPK stick – very pale result line.
Late morning OPK stick – much darker line, darker than yesterday’s even, but still not quite as dark as the control line.
Tomorrow I shall have to take yet another of these so-expensive-they-might-as-well-be-gold-plated sticks into work with me, and spend elevenses lurking in the disabled toilet. And as the artificial light in there is too hideous, I am somehow going to have to smuggle a peed-on stick to a window, in a busy university, so I can obsess over my stupid little lines.
Did I say dammit?
I cannot shake the feeling that this is all very unnecessary and a criminal waste of time and money even when I’m not playing Miss Empirical Evidence. Satsuma lets me know she’s done now, thank you, and pass the tissues, by good old-fashioned temperature spikes, no more egg-white, and a suddenly low and beak-hard cervix. It’s only the ACU that has no faith at all in these things and holds up OPKs as the gold standard for home ovulation.
I bet I never get a peak reading and I bet Satsuma ovulates mysteriously at some unspecified time that I can’t prove to them and I wonder if I should just fib and claim I got a positive OPK that day, when it comes, should it come (what are you doing in there, oh Ovary With Follicle On?)
Meanwhile, Satsuma was very very cross this morning and gave me fiery burning colick, but this may have been because I wasn’t showing an ounce of common sense and peeing in a timely and comfortable manner. Unless my temperature is up tomorrow. In which case, do I bother peeing on another stick under less than ideal circumstances (in the disabled toilet! During coffee break! Miles from daylight or even decent lamp-light! Sheesh!), or do I simply not bother and flannel the ACU?
For the third time, dammit.