In the end I gave up on the hideous acid-soaked inferno of CLENCHED-ness that was my stomach and went back to the GP. I was given a four-week course of small capsules, containing dozens of tiny rattly objects, which I am told are proton pump inhibitors. What the buggery hell is a proton pump? Anyway, mine has been duly inhibited and man, I feel better. I even had a cup of weak coffee this morning and I feel just dandy.
Oh, the blessed relief.
(For that Totally Too Much Information stinger, the main side-effect so far of this yet a-bloody-nother medication seems to be that my meals are, err, reappearing, as it were, after transit, in a rather noticeably undigested state. As in no other way is this causing me inconvenience or discomfort, I simply don’t care).