Can I give these results back after all?

Well, after several phonecalls and much background muttering from me, the NHS found the results of my husband’s sperm analysis, and sent them to our GP’s surgery. Excellent. And the GP even called H to tell him this.

And then the GP said it was probably best if H made an appointment to come in and discuss the results.

So H called me. ‘Oh, it’ll be because you were on a mobile phone in the middle of a shop when he called, and it’s personal information, and these things are a little sensitive, you know?’ I burbled cheerfully, and went back to work.

And today H sat stoically in the surgery waiting room for half-an-hour, all by himself, to hear what personal sensitive stuff the GP had come up with.

And then he texted me. The little green glowing screen said: ‘It’s not all good news regarding results…’

I think I may have even given a little scream. Damn damn damn. And I’m over the other side of town waiting for a bloody buggering bus. In the cold. Damn. Panic. Damn. Breathe, you silly woman. Let’s re-read this, shall we? Look, the message isn’t finished. Scroll down scroll down… Would it help if you took your gloves off so you can actually press the damn buttons?

‘…but not all bad either.’

Oh.

Well what the hell does that mean?

We discussed it properly when I got home, of course. And indeed, it’s not all bad. Volume, 4.3 ml (above 2 ml is good), count 87 million per ml (over 20 is good). Motility 37% (over, err, 50% is good). Morphology 3% (over 15% is good). So, there’s plenty of them. Which is something. If only 3% of them are actually going to take their jobs seriously enough to show up in the right shape, it’s a good thing there are plenty of them. And anyway, it’s only one sample, and H is talking firmly about eating healthily and cycling to work (will that really help?). And we have two more SA’s to do. The lazy little blighters may have perked up by then.

You know what I think it is? I think it’s because I never ovulate. H’s sperm have nothing to aim for. They’re demotivated.

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7 responses to “Can I give these results back after all?

  • Mel

    I’m sorry that it wasn’t all good news. But I’m glad you had the thought to look back at the message and continue scrolling!

  • Adrienne

    Tell those little buggers that it’s all about the ride, not the destination! That should confuse them for a bit and get them all going in the right direction.

    Seriously, though, sorry about the results. And fingers-crossed for good news soon.

  • thalya

    Ok, it’s not great, but you have to do the maths and realise it’s not the end.
    You’ve got 4.3ml with 87m sperm per ml = 374,100,000
    37% of those are moving = 138,417,000
    and 3% of those are the right shape = 4,152,510

    So approx 4m sperm are in with a chance. You don’t really need that many, or so I’ve heard.

    Yes it’s not great, but it is plenty enough for IUI or IVF – possibly with ICSI, I’m not sure, but still, plenty. I hope your husband is coping ok with the news.

  • Serenity

    Hi – just found your blog through Mel at SPQ and SPJ.
    We have severe MF as well – J’s counts are much lower and his morphology is non-existent (at his last count, we had 0% morphology. Zero. After we had been making so much progress – from 2-5%.)

    SA can wax and wane, absolutely. This is only one data point. And there are things he can do – I know in the US the General Nutrition Center stores (www.GNC.com) sell a “Fertility Blend for Men” which I have heard has wonderful results for men with borderline SAs.

    *HUG* though. It’s hard to hear that news at first.

  • May

    Thank you, all of you, for dropping by and taking the time to say something reassuring. I showed the comments to H, and he thinks you are very sweet.

    I don’t quite know how either of us are dealing with this. H seems fairly calm and sanguine, and not really very bothered – I hope he stays not very bothered. As long as he takes his vitamins, of course. It’s just, we were both so used to thinking the problem was all me. It’s – odd – to think it’s both of us (even if it is still MOSTLY me).

    We shall have to wait and see. Always the big thing in IF. Waiting and seeing.

  • H

    Yes, I’m pretty calm and sanguine – the Dr was very reassuring and calming. I’m also fairly convinced I (just?) need to improve my fitness and eat much more fruit/veg and anti-oxidents – that’s slipped a little over winter http://www.bbc.co.uk/sn/humanbody/truthaboutfood/sexy/spermrace.shtml

    The Dr even went so far as to warn me that if I do start cycling I need to be careful how I sit/what I wear (no lycra shorts for me) to try not to get things too hot in the seat area.

    However, part of me is slightly relieved in some way and perhaps doesn’t want things to improve too easily, that certainly wouldn’t be fair as May’s problems won’t. The relief is also partially that it’s not all May’s “fault” therfore there is in some way less pressure on us. While I definitely want to be a father, if things don’t work out then it was more not meant to be – certainly somehow make it easier to explain to parents etc. Does that make sense?

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