Did I say I was getting my period?
I spotted red, with added cramping, for a few hours. And then a little more spotting the next day. And then… a little more spotting. And cramps. And spotting. And nothing.
My temperature, which had dropped, went back up this morning.
I stared at my chart. My chart gave nothing away. I began most monstrously to Fret. In fact, I fretted myself into a state of advanced imbecility and went and bought some more home pregnancy tests. There followed an amusing and undignified little interlude in which I ate chocolate and whined on message boards while my bladder slowly filled up. And an even more amusing and undignified interlude in which I carefully peed into a pint mug, as the chances of me being able to hold only the tip of a small white stick underneath myself without weeing over the entire stick and my own hand are very slim. And I dunked the test in, counted twenty seconds off on the radio-controlled clock, left the test to mature while I made myself tea, came back, looked at it, and…
So, either I did ovulate 19 days ago and am pregnant and the test is a dud. Or, I did ovulate 19 days ago and the test is fine and I have some annoyingly stupid condition like a corpus-luteal cyst to play with now. Or, and this is the real contender at the moment, I did not ovulate, and my temps went up for two weeks for a lark.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a pint mug to disinfect.