In which we justify ourselves

I think I am suffering from a bloggers version of golfer’s yips. I keep sitting down to write somethingorother, and I keep leaping up again to, oh, I don’t know, water the basil. Make tea. Stare at the washing-up.

Starting this blog has been… complicated. On the one hand I want to (need to! Need! Must!) write about my annoying ovary and how it and its glandular cohorts have taken over my entire body (not bad going for a blob the size of a satsuma) and all the emotive churning and thrashing and lashing-out this causes. On the other hand I was bought up to believe that if you talked about periods and hairy toes and – God forbid! – sex, your family would spontaneously combust with shame and you’d have to be banished, orphan as you now were, to live under the puffin colonies on St Kilda. And again, on the one hand the above-mentioned family nevertheless feel it is their bounden duty as fertile people to alternatively give me advice and scold me. This I REALLY need to swear and scream about, and my husband is fast running out of usable ear-drums. And on the other, what if anyone I know finds out? Will I then spontaneously combust etc. etc?

And on the final hand (is this my hand? No? Sorry, would you like your hands back?) the one thing I have found very helpful has been reading other people’s blogs. I am not alone. I am not shamefully weird. Yes, there is something wrong. Yes, it does hurt, and it is scary, and I am allowed to be miserable. Also, it could be worse, and also families are ALL impossible at some point or another and their advice is, as I suspected, mostly crap. It has been very comforting.

And, startlingly, it has been extremely funny. I had always been shy of doing ‘funny’ when it came to my half-assed partial set of innards (make a joke about cysts and it’ll be Svalbard for you!). But here were ladies who were being, not only brave and moving and interesting and intelligent, but ow-ow-ow-ribs-hurt-make-them-stop funny. In particular, Leery Polyp, whose post about toddler-poop made me laugh so hard for so long I went purple and slid shaking to the ground (I have nieces and nephews and much younger siblings, oy vey, have I been there); A Little Pregnant; The Naked Ovary. More will be added to the blogroll as and when I find them.

So, I thought, I may as well try blogging about it too. I am allowed to stop if I don’t like it.


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