Things that we are doing

Item – Next step in the ‘head down, keep going’ IVF plan: book an appointment with the Riverside embryologists. Embryologists? I hear you murmur, giving me a quizzical glance. Why, yes, embryologists! The plan is, get some embryos, as you do, and then, when said embryos are three days old and have enough cells not to miss one, but haven’t decided what to use them for, nick a cell and Examine It With Care Also Science (CGH). By day 5, they should have results, and so we will be doing a day 5 transfer of any blastocyst which has cleverly arranged not to have life-embuggering mutations. Because, nine very very very early miscarriages? It could have been life-embuggering mutations all along! Science! Crushing your dreams for your own good! So, on Thursday, we speak to embryologists.

Item – The timing of the CGH-testing is a little tricksy, as the lab can only do CGH on certain days of the week, and if egg-retrieval is on the wrong day, we’ll just have to stick the prettiest one back in and hope like hell. Well, we’d be hoping like hell anyway. But, yeah. It’s a bit of a thing, this. What if there was never ever any chance? What if all our embryos are (and by implication always have been) poor little three-legged mutants?

Item – ANYWAY! GLOOM IS DESCENDING! BAT IT AWAY WITH ORNAMENTAL FANS!

Item – Next thing to tick off on list of things that oxen do: I spoke to my boss about our exciting plans for next month, and she was wonderfully supportive and cool about it, bless her immensely with showers of rose petals. I have to brace myself and ask HR about sick leave and flexitime policies now. Which I do not want to do at all. But better have it worked out than be slapped with another set of ‘Why you no here durr hurrr?‘ tiresomeness (remember the faffle over the occupational health assessment because I was missing work every month when Cute Ute the Despoiler bursts out in tight purple trousers?). I have saved up most of my leave this year for this, you know. And work does offer a limited sort of flextime. It should be doable without pinging any of HR’s buttons at all, but hey, people are weird about IVF and I like my arse covered.

Item – H went to an ENT consultant (an NHS one) today, because, dear people, loveable and charming as the man is, he *whisper it* snores. And we are both very sick of him either sleeping in the spare room or being beaten awake every twenty minutes by a wild-eyed and increasingly psychotic insomniac wife. And the ENT specialist painfully and slowly crammed a camera up his nose and even more painfully ripped it out again, to H’s dismay, and pronounced his passages free of polyps, deviated septums, or lego, which, huh, good I suppose, but we wanted a simple straightforward easy fix. Just at the moment H is painfully sneezy and full of snot (is this an allergy? Is it a head cold? Is the universe just cheerfully fucking with him?), so in case it is allergies, H now has steroids to spray up his nose. To match my buserelin! His and hers frantic tandem sniffing and groaning! Neato! And he has been told to use a Mandibular Advancement Device, which sounds… deviant… So we shall see. Cross your fingers for H. If the snoring thing does not stop, I may accidentally hospitalize him in a fit of fertility-drug induced RAGE.

Item – Amazing break-out behaviour from Satsuma, who may have chosen this fraught time to ovulate on day 16. Even she is screaming LET’S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD ALREADY OH MY GOD. So, if she has (and isn’t just fucking with me, because she used to fuck with me all the time, bless her, and I have trust issues, the Great IVF Cycle Endeavour will be coming to a blog near you on or about the 23 of June.

Item – WHAT ARE WE DOING? AAIEEEEE!

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33 responses to “Things that we are doing

  • Nicky

    GOOD LUCK! Sorry, I felt the need to shout that. I believe at least ONE embryo will be free of life-embuggering mutations. Chances are good, right?

    On husband’s snoring: my small child snored for the first few years of his life, and it was caused by an allergy to dust mites. I covered his bed and pillows and wash his blankets once a week, and he stopped snoring. (And turned from a sleep-deprived tantrum monster to a sweet, sensitive little boy.) And there was joy. So, something worth investigating, perhaps.

    • May

      No, no, shouting is good. Thank you.

      We will take to covering and/or boiling the bedding. Hey! We could vacuum under the bed! We’d be destroying a civilization of dust bunnies, but hey.

  • QoB

    Question for H: are you eating dairy products? If yes, have you tried stopping? I suggest it not because I have references or studies to cite, but because a friend of mine had sinus+nasal issues for YEARS – even had surgery – and her surgeon apparently forget to tell her to go off dairy first. WHOOPS. She now no longer eats dairy products and her issue hasn’t totally disappeared, but has gone from an 8/10 to a 1 or 2.

    And with the two of you: AAIEEEEE :)

    • QoB

      And obviously please ignore if that falls under “assvice that fools from the internet bombard us with”.

    • May

      H? H! Lay off the cheese! Anything’s worth a try, and his family is chock-full of allergies (as is mine).

      • QoB

        I sympathise, as you would have to pry my cheese from my cold dead hands, but it’s one of those “can’t hurt might help” things (for a while, anyway!).

  • Sheila

    Oooh, getting all excited and nervous for you! Can’t believe how close you are to the start line….. keeping everything crossed for you. By the way, when do you start the clexane and steroids? Take steroids in the morning – otherwise you will have even more insomnia and H will most definitely be hospitalized!

    • May

      Steroids start on day 7, clexane from egg collection, intralipids on day of egg collection. Thank you SO MUCH for the tip on morning steroids. I confess to being worried about the steroids. I’m a cranky insomniac on a GOOD day.

  • Amy P

    EEEEEEEEEEE!

  • a

    What is your address? I will send you ornamental fans to bat away the gloom! (I am quite serious. I will go out and find the most obnoxious ones available.)

    I snore. I have allergies. I also drink wine many evenings before bed. That may contribute. My insomniac husband suffers mostly in silence. Dust mites are the most likely cause for my snoring too, since I am definitely allergic to them, they cause rhinitis (inflammation!), and they never go away. I have lots of covers for the pillows that are washed frequently, I was the pillows occasionally, and all other bedding regularly. (But I still snore – especially during allergy season)

    Holy crap! The 23rd of June is NEXT WEEK!!!

  • Sol Solntze

    Go May! Go H! Go IVF! Wheeeeee!

  • bionicbrooklynite

    I feel like I have spent the past few months at the nexus of yours and H’s respective Medical Adventures. I will therefore add my personal assvice that my sinus ghastlies, though set off by an actual infection, turned into this “silent reflux” thing where stomach yucks wash around up there, in turn exciting my sinuses into inflammation and general alarm. It all happens somehow faster than regular reflux, so it doesn’t feel like heartburn. Treating the acid (with Pepcid and Prilosec and, eheu, diet) made an amazing difference.

    As for the other business, hooray for forward tromping! I am giving a professorial look of Not Impressed at the lab’s excuses about schedules, but for now I will assume your dates will work out just right without my eyebrows needing to take up permanent residence in my hairline. It would certainly be no greater miracle than Satsuma’s timeliness. Cheers, Satsuma! You get my glowing look of earnest professorial delight. I will write “NICE.” On your paper and underline it.

  • Valery Valentina

    Excell sheet. with times of day and before/during/after meal indicator. and a cell for dosage. oh and columns for name-of-medication and date.
    Print. (Put on fridge or some such place)
    Cross off as medication is taken.
    (and adjust spreadsheet each time doctors change their mind, or dates become known, such as retrieval date)
    Print again.
    That’s my assvice anyway. Because I got nervous from having fights with DP who could not remember if I had taken pill X or renewed patch Y.
    Oh, and count the pills/vials/whatevs in the boxes, cos not every pharmacist can do math. Of the type when 20mg should be taken 3 times a day and they only have 5 mg pills, how many does the patient need on Friday night to make it through the weekend?
    Sorry if this all sounds stupid, sleepless night for no good reason at all.
    Glad I can be cheering and hoping for you. Wondering how it can be June as I am mentally stuck in March or April.
    Will go looking for ornamental fans now….

  • L.

    I think this will sound obnoxious, but it’s true. I would not call my husband overweight, but when he carries 20-30 extra pounds (around 15% extra body weight I suppose) he snores quite a bit and very loudly. When he loses even part of that, I notice the difference, it’s much quieter. I sleep too lightly at night to cope with it, so now I sleep in a different bedroom. Doesn’t mean that we don’t have sex, that we don’t spend a lot of time with each other at night, or that we’re unhappy… for me it’s quite the opposite; I get so mad kicking him all night to make him stop snoring, and he gets pissed with me waking him up, that the separate beds keep us much happier.

    It’s hard to tell for myself but I think I also snore more when heavier, though not to the same proportion, but it doesn’t wake him up as far as I know. I’m not gonna judge or say anything about the weight since I’m carrying the same extra pounds, perhaps even more proportionally speaking. I also have no idea whether H is as thin as a rail or not, and in the end it’s sort of a useless comment because there’s no simple solution. But, I guess it keeps me from prodding my husband to look elsewhere for solutions. Something mechanical might help (gonna google the M.A.D.) but in his case, medication would likely be a waste.

  • Melissa

    Come on Grade A Embryos!

  • Brave IVF Mama

    Good luck! Hope it all goes well!

  • mfamama

    “GLOOM IS DESCENDING! BAT IT AWAY WITH ORNAMENTAL FANS!” I want this on a t-shirt!

  • Mina

    Next week. Wow. Bestest of goodest luck(est, just because it rhymes(t)).
    Careful which way you bat those fans, if they only blow the gloom back up, it will certainly come down again, and you’ve worked in vain. Better(est) to blow it sideways, maybe it gets caught in a spider’s web and let sticky feet and jowls deal with that. Dear lord, next week is soon, this week is done already. Sastuma, good girls behave, so behave.
    And HR, shut your trap.

  • Jo.

    More snoring advice: has he considered a CPAP? Mo bought one on the interwebz three years ago, and it was LIFE-CHANGING. Apparently sleep apnea is the biggest, and most dangerous, cause of snoring. He bought his used (and refurbished) with a new mask and tubing for around $300. The best money we have ever spent.

  • Hairyfarmerfamily

    The snoring. Oh dear God, the snoring. It is soooo easy to let a rebuking foot slip over that fine line from a prod into a Righteous Kick. Mandibular… Advancement… Device…?!

    Satsuma. I know not what to say to you at this stage. Keep on keeping on, yes?

  • minichessemouse

    Much holding of hands, many hugs and plenty of ‘please please please’ vibes headed your way!

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