I was sorting out the paperwork, and I realised/remembered/slapped my forehead that Dr Expensive is also doing a thyroid panel on me. A proper one, TSH, T4, Free T4, Free T3, antibodies.
I’ve had my thyroid tested before, by my GP, and each time, despite my fussing, and my pointing out that my mother’s TSH levels kept coming back as normal right up until she grew a bloody goitre so perhaps TSH alone wasn’t reliable, all they’ve done on me is TSH. And I don’t know the exact results for that, either. I call the office to ask, they reassure me it’s ‘normal’. I ask for the exact levels, the nurse says she’ll get the doctor to send them, I get a letter reassuring me they are ‘normal’.
Dr Expensive asked me what my thyroid levels had been and I explained about the ‘normal’. He pointed out that ‘normal’ TSH can be anything under 4 mIU/L, because the NHS don’t tend to treat anything under 4 mIU/L as it’s not cost-effective, but bad pregnancy outcomes are correlated to TSH levels over 2 mIU/L, so it’s important to know the exact level. I said, I was aware of that, and that that was in fact one of the reasons why I’d come to see him. Because getting actual answers, as opposed to vague, unhelpful, ‘normal parameters’ out of my NHS doctors was impossible. He nodded and moved on.
And then, when we arrived home that afternoon, there was a letter for me from Miss Consultant, my NHS infertility doctor. I had been haranguing her secretary for the results of the FSH cycle day 3 test I had back in March (MARCH, people! For the sake of fuck). I’d given up on the bloody results every being found and all. But here was a letter from Miss Consultant about them. She said, and I quote: ‘I am pleased to let you know that the FSH blood test taken back in March was normal. I hope you are progressing with your weight loss…’
As I was saying, *HULK SMASH*.