Doldrums

Item – Oh, go on, tell H what you want to hear from him. Or email, if you’re shy (email address is hidden at the bottom of my About page). It’ll be fun. And he’s a BOY, and in infertility land, boys are RARE and FASCINATING. And we all want to see RARE and FASCINATING, don’t we? Yes we do.

Item – Why are you still here? Go and pester H. The rest of this post is really boring.

Item – I had a stomach bug yesterday. Spent morning quietly reading knitting magazines on the loo. Spent afternoon in bed thinking ‘I’m hungry. My stomach really hurts. I’m hungry. My stomach really hurts. Damn, I’m hungry, ‘ on a loop. And then wondering what on earth was going tits-up at work in my absence.

Item – Aaand today I found out. I got exactly 23 minutes to eat lunch in. And no tea breaks. Just as well I didn’t bloody want to eat anything, then. Came home late, tired and cross, and H is out at the pub celebrating a colleague’s… something. Promotion? Birthday? Firing? Canonisation? So I slumped in front of the telly, eating cheese [note to self - was this wise?], and Pondering Life. This is always a mistake, as it leads inevitably to the conclusion that mine is quite tedious and unsatisfactory, cute husband and natural ringlets notwithstanding.

Item – As for the 2010 Forced March Shrinkathon, well, I put 3lbs on on holiday (oops), and I have failed to lose a single ounce of it. On the plus side, I haven’t gained another ounce either, despite the cheese-eating (this is a plus, yes? I’m not just pandering to my own lazy arse, am I?). Still, you’d’ve thought a 24-hour bog marathon would’ve shifted the odd microgram. Bah. Back to the lettuce.

Item – It’s day 30 of this cycle. No ovulation yet. Stupid ovary. What’s the point of having the AMH levels of a woman in her damn twenties if my sodding ovary won’t sodding ovulate anyway?

Item – Must think of something positive. Must think of something positive. Must think of something positive. Arse.

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6 responses to “Doldrums

  • a

    Apparently, the doldrums are worldwide…I am suffering from them too. But I can at least be positive about not having a stomach bug…however, maybe I can catch one over the weekend. On Tuesday, there will be a painful meeting at work that I would prefer to avoid. Sadly, I will have to attend to try and rein in the crazy people. I suppose they would frown upon having socks stuffed firmly in their mouths…

  • twangy

    Oh boy, poor stomach! If you’re anything like me, you’ll be white-faced and enfeebled after being a No Food Zone. Poor you.

    I reckon H was at Senior Groovy Engineer V’s canonisation. Hence forth he is to be known as St. Senior Groovy Engineer V.

  • Betty M

    But cheese is good. Something else must go before cheese. I ‘m racking my mind for something positive and failing. Best I can do is that there will be less rain tomorrow. Think I must be in the doldrums too.

  • Hairy Farmer Family

    *Opens door to study. Coldly ushers a trudging Satsuma inside. Points sternly to a chair. Shuts door. Moves to desk. Sits. Draws deep breath. Drums fingers on the desk. Turns from staring out of the window to fix cowering Satsuma in a steely gaze*

    ‘Well…?’

    *silence*

    ‘And what do you have to say for yourself?’

    *embarrassed silence*

    ‘I will not tolerate a return to your old habits, Satsuma. Understand me, please. Ovulation will occur in 5 days, or you will encounter my pronounced and severe displeasure. Are we clear on this?’

    *nods*

    ‘Go!’

    *footsteps*
    *door bangs*

    • May

      *Laughs hysterically for quite some minutes*

      I think Satsuma’s now cowering at the back of my right iliac fossa, weeping into the fimbriae and wailing ‘s’not my FAULT, s’not FAIR, I’m TRYING, aren’t I?’ to any organ that will listen. (Alas, none of them have ears).

  • Bee Cee

    Your reference to your natural ringlets made me smile. Lots.

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